Female Evangelist Turned Away

October 21, 2019

young-woman-standing-outside-church-door-rafael-elias

Prophetess ELSandi Discernment News Briefs (Outside El Paso)- Last night around 6pm an unnamed Discernmentalist got a knock at his door—answering it he was greeted by a young female. “Hello;” she said: “have you a minute to spare—are you a good person? Do you know where you’ll be if you die tonight? Do you know Jesus as your Lord and Savior? I have a few  Bible verses I’d like to share with you.” “Be gone Satan and go home—don’t you know that a woman’s place is at home submitting to her husband’s divine authority? God appointed the role of sharing the Gospel/all information about Himself to men only. Besides that the True Gospel is that God made Jesus as a Penal Substitute to satisfy His unquenchable wrath yet our Sovereign God still remains angry so angry with a commendable hatred and unsatisfied wrath towards sinners (which we must imitate) that He threatens to throw as many people into hell as possible—all out of His Great Pleasure and good purposes of course. We rejoice at the destruction of the pre-damned wicked reprobates aka Papists; RINOs; Lutherans and Semi-Pelagian Armenian heretics and will dip our toes in their blood and dance to celebrate their final end. Our Angry Sovereign God is so good and worthy of worship! If you can’t handle the Hard Truths of the Bible like rejoicing at your non-Elect grandma who prayed the Rosary one time roasting in hell for all eternity and that a woman’s place  is to be a silent doormat for men then you were never saved to begin with and most likely a False Convert.”—the unknown Discernmentalist said—angrily slamming the door in the female Evangelist’s face and turning her away. The final remarks of that unnamed Discernmentalist were overheard through the door cracks by passersby: “The nerve of that woman Having the Audacity to Preach the Gospel and Help People.”


Extra Apprising And Freaking Newsflash: Ken Silva Finds An Evanjellyfish Washed Up On The Shore!

June 10, 2010

 

(Apprising And Freaking Out  News)— On his recent vacation to a secluded beach, the vainhearted and valiant foolhardy great Pastor-Teacher-Scholar of all things Truth Warrior and Discernmentalist, Ken Silva was enjoying his relatively quiet and calm vacation away from discernmentalizing and Apprising everyone when he heard a voice suddenly saying: “Genuine Christianity is learning to live by an indwelling Christ. Genuine church life is born when groups of people are intoxicated with a glorious unveiling of their Lord.” (Source: Jesus Manifesto). Turning around Ken noticed that the voice had come from a hideous and horrible looking monstrous creature from the deep known as an Evanjellyfish that had recently washed up on the shore. In it’s invisible tentacles the Evanjellyfish had a copy of Leonard Sweet and Frank Viola’s lastest heretical and apostate book, Jesus Manifesto: Restoring the Supremacy and Sovereignty of Jesus Christ. Apparently the Evanjellyfish had been quoting some of his favorite quotes from the book. Ken not being one to let things go  immediately began Apprising and discernmentalizing the Evanjellyfish.— (Source). *(Editors note: for a better view of what these heretical and apostate Evanjellyfish look and sound like click on the included photograph to enlarge it for the most optimal viewing experience possible).*


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