October 21, 2019
Prophetess ELSandi Discernment News Briefs (Outside El Paso)- Last night around 6pm an unnamed Discernmentalist got a knock at his door—answering it he was greeted by a young female. “Hello;” she said: “have you a minute to spare—are you a good person? Do you know where you’ll be if you die tonight? Do you know Jesus as your Lord and Savior? I have a few Bible verses I’d like to share with you.” “Be gone Satan and go home—don’t you know that a woman’s place is at home submitting to her husband’s divine authority? God appointed the role of sharing the Gospel/all information about Himself to men only. Besides that the True Gospel is that God made Jesus as a Penal Substitute to satisfy His unquenchable wrath yet our Sovereign God still remains angry so angry with a commendable hatred and unsatisfied wrath towards sinners (which we must imitate) that He threatens to throw as many people into hell as possible—all out of His Great Pleasure and good purposes of course. We rejoice at the destruction of the pre-damned wicked reprobates aka Papists; RINOs; Lutherans and Semi-Pelagian Armenian heretics and will dip our toes in their blood and dance to celebrate their final end. Our Angry Sovereign God is so good and worthy of worship! If you can’t handle the Hard Truths of the Bible like rejoicing at your non-Elect grandma who prayed the Rosary one time roasting in hell for all eternity and that a woman’s place is to be a silent doormat for men then you were never saved to begin with and most likely a False Convert.”—the unknown Discernmentalist said—angrily slamming the door in the female Evangelist’s face and turning her away. The final remarks of that unnamed Discernmentalist were overheard through the door cracks by passersby: “The nerve of that woman Having the Audacity to Preach the Gospel and Help People.”
May 11, 2010
We must set the record straight—- the Bible is the Literal Word of God. What this Literally means is that the human words which make up the Bible contain the Literal mind of God. We Know as we were there when God Literally dictated them to humanity. Our field agent Brainiac further explains:
The Bible is a book of words and those words are to be interpreted according to their literal sense, which means in the same sense that the author understood them. This is a principle called the Sensus Literalis, and it is an important rule of hermeneutics. If we do not interpret the words in the same sense as the author, then we obscure the author’s meaning and impose our own. If we read our own meaning in the place of God’s meaning; then we are no longer reading God’s word but our own. Therefore, we must take care to interpret the Bible literally.
We interpret the Bible literally by following the ordinary rules of language; a noun is to be read as a noun, a verb as a verb, and so on. No matter what we read or in what language we read it, a statement is always a statement and a question is always a question.
Utilizing our Absolute Biblical Certainty and our Discernmentalist logic, we will show you how to apply a literal hermeneutic to the Bible:
This is literally Jesus:
This also is literally Jesus:
And here is something else that is literally Jesus:
Stay tuned for part 2 of our exhilirating fresh new course straight from the bowels of the GOIP Online Discernmentalist Bible-Literalist Institutes aka LifeWay Press!
May 10, 2010
As True Christians and Discernmentalists, We must stand by our Absolute Biblical Truths like tearing others down when they stand in our way. Making fun of others when they are down in the dumps and kicking them even further is Absolutely Biblical. Using Absolute Biblical Certainty, We must stand up for these Hard Truths. Our Discernmentalist logic dictates that our theology must be Extreme by nature as our God is a very angry Sovereign God ready to pour down His Absolute Sovereign Wrath upon unsuspecting non-elected sinners at any time. Putting reprobates in their place is just part of our job as the Bible commands us to imitate our Father God in Heaven.
A video example of our Biblically verifiable theology.
We wish that crybaby reprobates would quit whining and complaining about their status as the losers of God’s Sovereign lottery of pre-determined Absolute Fatalism. God can and does get what He wants as is His Sovereign Will and His good pleasure decrees so suck it up if you are on the losing end of God’s Absolute Sovereign Wrath as it was just Fate that you were Born to Lose. All of this is Biblically verifiable theology as We back up our Extreme Theology with the Hard Truths of the Bible and Bible-Based STRETCH Technology. This is why our Extreme approach to everything works and why We must take a stand against those trying to water down theology with love as you can’t save anyone by loving up on them. You’ve got to tell them the Truth like John MacArthur—the Hard Truth that God hates them and is so angry with their sinful ways that He could threaten to pour down His wrath upon them at any moment unless they are Elect and therefore able to repent.