Man Refuses to Drive “No God” Bus

August 29, 2019

maxresdefault6

SoL is on the case again when they describe one Ron Heather, a bus driver in England who refused to drive a bus that was emblazoned with atheist slogans. SoL noted “Three cheers and a Slice Salute to Mr. Heather for taking a stand.” We at the Online Discernmentalist Mafia also applaud Ron Heather for making Christians everywhere look like morons. Our research robot monkey was on hand to comment “Whenever Christians can protest over non essential drivel or complete stupidly we are fully there to support them!”

 Come on people let’s Take A Stand!…

Truthslayer


Sarah Palin: Conservoporn Playmate!

February 15, 2010

Sarah Palin (Yes!  hubba hubba Awesome) to become the newest Conservoporn playmate. Watch as she saves America from the threat of Red Letter Christians and evil Emergents like Brian McLaren. She even puts Obama in his place. All in conservatively appropriate clothingSarah Palin (Yes!  hubba hubba Awesome) is a true Discernmentalist after the hearts of all Reaganolater Reagan loving GOIP Discernmentalists. In fact we’ve heard that Sarah Palin(Yes!  hubba hubba Awesome)  is a female clone of our Final President Ronald Reagan.

A key scene in one of Sarah Palin(Yes!  hubba hubba Awesome)’s Conservoporn productions Slaying Neo-Marxist Red Letter Christian Wolves: Tax Cuts For The Filthy Rich Turn Me On —-

Look for the official Glenn Beck Seal Of Approval on all of our excellent and quality Conservoporn productions:


Martin Luther Secretly Muslim

January 26, 2010

We have Absolute Proof! Our Research Robot Monkeys have come upon this startling revelation of Luther’s Closeted Islamic beliefs:

 From this book, accordingly, we see that the religion of the Turks or Muhammad is far more splendid in ceremonies—and, I might almost say, in customs—than ours, even including that of the religious or all the clerics. The modesty and simplic-ity of their food, clothing, dwellings, and everything else, as well as the fasts, pray-ers, and common gatherings of the people that this book reveals are nowhere seen among us—or rather it is impossible for our people to be persuaded to them. Fur-thermore, which of our monks, …Martin Luther 

Therefore the Lutheran Reformation was secretly created by Muslims—no wonder some believe Luther was not as Reformed and Protestant as Calvin. * (Although some of our Research Robot Monkey Spies came upon this quote by Calvin:

No man is excluded from calling upon God, the gate of salvation is set open unto all men: neither is there any other thing which keepeth us back from entering in, save only our own unbelief. —John Calvin

So perhaps Calvin isn’t as Reformed and Protestant as Spurgeon or John MacArthur).

Hopefully Ken Silva will call Chris Rosebrough and Ingrid Shuelter  to repent of their Lutheran-Islamism and also for Pastorboy aka (Name withheld upon request) to remove his picture of the Muslim Lutheran leader Martin Luther from the header of his blog.

Don Jobson—fibbing proclaiming the Truth.


Discernmentalist Quotes For The New Decade

January 4, 2010

Sharin’ Whiplash (July 8th, 2009 at 8:55 am) :

One of my all-time heroes of the faith. What a great man, and greatly used of God as our Final Prophet and executioner of heretics. Thank You, Lord, for Your servant, Jean Cauvin, without whom we would be still struggling in the darkness of Roman Arminianism, that man-exalting heresy, being Christ-like and bearing the Fruits of the Spirit.

Tyrone V. Hoofendorfer on Obama:

The BIGGEST reason we are in this financial recession is the current worthless and worst president ever, Obuma. Impeach him and things will immediately get better. You will thank me later. Haters….BEGIN

Tyrone V. Hoofendorfer on Adam Lambert and homos in general:

  Time was when they would put someone in jail for acting like that on TV. We need to get back to those days. I would see NOTHING wrong with putting that guy in jail!!

Tyrone V. Hoofendorfer on Peace-mongers:

1:25PM Dec 2nd 2009
David, David, David… why don’t you just get on the boat now? Or a ship, or, Hell, for that matter walk if you have to!! Just leave!! Take that one way trip to Cuba, or China or Venezuela RIGHT NOW!! True Americans do not want you here anymore. Hell, admit it, YOU don’t want to be here. I saw you on Chris Matthews stupid little show where he called West Point “the enemy camp.” West Point is the enemy camp huh. Naturally you said NOTHING about this point because leftist Communist pigs like yourself truly see it that way. Leave David, leave America! It is for those who LOVE it, not hate it like you do!!!!

Tyrone V. Hoofendorfer in defense of  War:

12:59PM Nov 30th 2009
Hey David (A)corn, You communist jerk!! How did your recent conversations with Putin, Castro, Hugo Chavez and Chairman Obama go? Did they help you with any ideas to publish with your daily Communist agenda? Gotta run…Hollah!!!
The reviewer wrote:

“I would have been fascinated to read a comparison of how Protestants are treated in, say, Italy, Spain, Portugal or France”

Well, as everyone knows, Protestants in Italy, Spain, Portugal and France are rounded up under the cover of darkness by Albino assassin monks, all members of an ultra-secret Opus Dei albino monk assassin squad, and these Protestants are, again, under cover of darkness, turned into a food supplement called “Soylent Green.”

That’s why Protestants never, ever go to Italy, Spain, Portugal or France.

The Eiffel Tower? The Cote d’Azur? The Coleisseum?

Don’t be fooled. These are all traps, traps I tell you, that these devastatingly clever Catholics have set up in order to lure innocent Protestants into traveling to Europe!

Be wise, my friends, be wise! Don’t travel to Europe! Soylent Green is Protestants!


Brian McLaren Directly Assaults Discernmentalists

December 3, 2009

Discernmentalists, we are under direct attack on a daily basis. We need to rally to arms and put on the aggressive defense. Just last month Brian McLaren directly assaulted Uncle Ken Silva and Aunt Ingrid Schlueter of Slice Of  Laodicea. Ingrid was caught yelling in a headlock:

What an appallingly dishonest way to deal with your critics, McLaren.

which  inspired her to write this scathing critique of her ordeal:

Brian McLaren Paints Critics as Gay-Hating Bigots

by Ingrid Schlueter

Emergent author Brian McLaren doesn’t believe in a literal Second Coming of Jesus. He has problems with the penal substitutionary atonement of Jesus on the cross. A literal hell with eternal torment for those who reject Christ? Not likely. The Genesis account of the fall of man? Not true. But instead of addressing his own spiritual rebellion, Brian appears to want to paint his critics as bigots. In a recent blog post, McLaren demands that what he calls “discernment websites” (he used the quote marks) address an African country’s attempts to codify severe penalties for homosexuality into law. He seems to imply that these same “discernment ministries” would automatically support the arrest and execution of gays by Uganda.

For the record, Brian, that’s a pretty nasty strategy to use against those who point to your heretical doctrinal views. While emergents supposedly are intellectual, open-minded people who enjoy conversations with subtle nuances and lots of mystery, McLaren actually sees things in black and white. Anyone who is not willing to jettison cardinal doctrine and embrace his “new kind of Christianity” is painted as ready to commit hate crimes and would support mistreating gays. What an appallingly dishonest way to deal with your critics, McLaren.

Ken was found wounded in the fray but not hurt. We asked him for comment and all he could murmur was:

It’s interesting this “minister” would place quotations around “discernment websites.” Well, as one of said sites, I can tell McLaren that I personally do not at all “enjoy featuring and critiquing the work” of any of these postliberal rebels against the final authority of God’s Word. The Lord knows that I’d much rather go back to apologetics and evangelizing those lost in the kingdom of the cults.

Indeed this is why we must go back on the aggressive defense and never compromise on preaching the whole ‘discernmentalist’ truth to all liberal, apostate, heretics!


GOIPers Unite In A Day Of Imprecatory Prayer Against Obama

November 19, 2009

Todd Friel, Wiley Drake and Brannon Howse lead the rally. GOIPers and fellow discernnmentalists hear the battle call. We who hold Jesus—- the King James Bible AV1611—the Absolute Truth in our hands have a duty to pray against ungodly rulers and our enemies—because this is what Jesus wants:

The Bible is Jesus/God—this is the Absolute Truth, which God’s True Elect know with Absolute Certainty—so therefore when Jesus (the King James Bible AV1611) says in Psalm 1o9:8-15:

8 Let his days be few; and let another take his office.
9 Let his children be fatherless, and his wife a widow.
10 Let his children be continually vagabonds, and beg: let them seek their bread also out of their desolate places.
11 Let the extortioner catch all that he hath; and let the strangers spoil his labour.
12 Let there be none to extend mercy unto him: neither let there be any to favour his fatherless children.
13 Let his posterity be cut off; and in the generation following let their name be blotted out.
14 Let the iniquity of his fathers be remembered with the LORD; and let not the sin of his mother be blotted out.
15 Let them be before the LORD continually, that he may cut off the memory of them from the earth.

We know with Absolute Certainty that these verses refer to Obama and are God Jesus’ Absolute Will and  Decree for him from the foundation of the world. Afterall the mark of a True Christian is to quote-mine,  prooftext, pick and choose  or cheery pick random verses from the bible as a means of sound bite Theology. believe God when He speaks in His Word— the King James Bible AV1611 and obey Him and His Word— the King James Bible AV1611.

This then is our Imprecatory Prayer against Obama that God Himself commands all True Believers to pray. Now had one of our own leaders been elected President then everyone must obey Romans 13—but since we have an anti-Christ in the White House then we must pray Imprecatory Prayers until we install Robo-Reagan Ron Luce as Supreme Theocratic Dictator of the World for life—a True tyrant Patriot in the likeness of John Calvin our Final Prophet.


Chris Rosebrough: Dirty Mouth? Clean it Up! Updated!

July 7, 2008

Update: We here at the Online Discernmentalist Mafia are proud to say we made a difference. Chris Rosebrough has change the original post from the profanity he used to “jerk”. Thank God for us.

 

Here is the screenshot of his original  post.

I. Todyaso 

 

———————————————————————————-

Laodiceans,

Recently we were overjoyed that Uber-ODM, mentor, and all around nice gal, Ingrid, from Slice of Laodicea returned to the ranks of the Sanctified and Perfected and called down the wrath of God on all who thought George Carlin was an evil, dirty-mouthed, lying, going to hell, not made in the image of God reprobate. She wrote:

Yesterday I wrote about the passing of George Carlin and his legacy of mainstreaming a lot of moral filth. My critics claimed that I only saw him as a cultural war enemy and that I was too harsh and too outspoken about his gutter humor.

She also wrote:

It is singularly fitting that what passes for Christianity today would celebrate the life and comedic routines of George Carlin. In fact, based on the language and spirit of much in the purportedly Christian blog world today, I would say that there is no better representative icon of post-Christian Christianity than George Carlin.

We here at ODM agree. Kudos to Ingrid for having the courage to point out that George Carlin was a destructive force and that Christians ought not to have ever laughed at him or his jokes. Now let’s see her take her courage one step more.

I am sad to report that the trend of Christians using the potty-mouthed humor of secular jokers has reared its ugly head again. This time from respected ODM and Extreme Theologian Chris Rosebrough. Here’s the direct quote from his blog, Extreme Theology:

Bill Cosby tells a story about a friend who tried to convince him to try cocaine by claiming that it enhances one’s personality. Cosby’s retort was classic. He asked, “Yeah, but what if you’re an ass****?”

I think the same principle applies to being “Purpose-Driven” and “finding your purpose”.

 

I cannot tell you had saddened I am by this development. Chris Rosebrough has long been a respected member of the ODM community, but he evidently did not get the memo on this one: We ODM’s are opposing all things secular, all things comedy, all things laughter, all things fun and all things filthy-language oriented. You have got to be kidding me Chris!?! I am shocked and ashamed.

Well, here’s hoping that super-gal Ingrid will demonstrate the same courage on this one that she did against that heretic imonk and the backslidden boys of CRN.info. I know I am going to be hitting Slice quite a lot in the next day or so hoping to see if she blogs against this foul-mouthed, potty-mouthed, filthy-mouthed joke of an ODM.

Wake up people! Can’t you see there’s a war going on all around us? We don’t need the George Carlin’s and Bill Cosby’s of this world to make our theological points!!! Chris, by posting this line from Cosby you have totally undermined any authority or respect you may have once had. You need to get repenting.

I write because I care. I am always struggling for you in Laodicea because I love you. To paraphrase the words of our hero Ingrid:

When I re-read [Rosebrough’s] utter disregard for the well-being of [everyone] in his audience [at Extreme Theology]…I feel true indignation.”

Me too.

Really. Truly. Sad.

struggle4laodicea


%d bloggers like this: