Red Alert!!! We’re Under Attack…. once again by One of Our Own!

April 30, 2019

undaatteck

We are sad to announce that part 2 of Dr. Truthslayer’s series on When Discernment Becomes Extra Ugly  scheduled for today is postponed until further notice as once again and as always our Pure Doctrines of our most Holy most inerrant illustrious Pope of our Truth War (PBUH) have come under attack. One of our very own— Pulpit & Pen have fired off a salvo against the Online Discernmentalist Mafia community due to our recent Massives on the truth about Heresy-Hunting and defamation of characters the Reformation. Pulpit & Pen have threatened to demolish our Truth Bunker with their missives (which aren’t nearly as Pure in their Truth and Doctrine as our Massives). Thankfully though our Truth Bunker is super secret so wasn’t hit and none of us were harmed.

Quote from one of their missives in which they slander the blessed memory of our late great affectionate Uncle Pastor-Teacher who taught us everything we know about discernmentalism:

 I firmly believe that “guilt by association” (as known as the Doctrine of Godly Separation) is a Biblical concept found throughout both the Old and New Testaments, and anyone who says otherwise needs to read their Bible. However, guilt-by-association cannot be applied ad infinitum. …The late Ken Silva’s Apprising Ministries, who recommended…Justin Peters (but not) John MacArthur… Justin Peters is bad for (not) recommending John MacArthur, (but instead is) recommending Albert Mohler, who is bad for recommending (ostensibly) Rick Warren.

Everyone knows that Ken would never under any circumstances recommend Purpose-Driven Heretic Rick Warren even by guilt of association as the late Ken Silva (blessed be his memory) passed on his Clear Teachings to us which are the same as our Clear Teachings. Also Ken himself in his glorious missives taught us to use guilt by association ad infinitum and an attack on Ken’s Clear Teachings is an attack on the Clear Teachings of our Pure Doctrines of our Pope of the Truth War (PBUH) and therefore an attack on us personally. Also everyone knows that John MacArthur (PBUH) is the only True living Teacher of God’s Word who said this about Baptism which is consistent with our Clear Teachings on Baptism so he would never violate the Purity of our Doctrine of Godly Separation and associate with an infant sprinkling heretic:

We understand what believer’s baptism is from Scripture.

But there’s a world of people who don’t get it, who don’t understand it. And there are people who don’t know that it is important and who don’t think the methodology is important, or even the time when a person is baptized. There are folks who are just plain confused about baptism, what is its method, and what is its meaning, and in particular, what about the baptizing of infants, which is how you get a world full of non-Christians who have been baptized as infants.

Infant baptism is not baptism…it’s not New Testament baptism. This may surprise you, it’s nothing, it’s totally meaningless. Well you might have got emotional when you took your little child in there ‘cause you love your little child and you hope the best for him, or her. But as far as the spiritual condition of that child, it had absolutely no effect whatsoever. Infant baptism is not in the Bible, it is not New Testament baptism. And this is an uncontestable fact because when you do go in to the Bible in the New Testament and you talk about baptism and you study baptism, it is absolutely crystal clear what baptism is. The only people who are ever baptized in the New Testament are people who have come to faith in Christ. And baptism is always immersing them in water, it is never sprinkling water on their heads from a tiny little fountain.

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And as everyone knows no True Truth Warrior would do anything that is not contained in the Bible as we are all Conservative  Bible-believing folks—and all Bible-believers everywhere agree with JMac’s Truth (PBUI) otherwise they are enemies of our Truth in the Truth War. Quote: “Obedience simply means to submit to what the Lord says, do what He tells you.  And what He tells you is revealed in Scripture.” This is why we ODMs always have to hide out in our Truth Bunker to keep our fragile Hard Doctrines which always need protecting purified and safe from all manners of sinfully ecumenical worldliness and hereticalness—in  fact we hide out in separate rooms in our bunker to perfect the purity of our Pure Doctrine of separation as well. Also we may only be a congregation of 3 separate people with an occasional 4th or 5th member but that just proves how much purer our Doctrine of separation is than anyone else’s as we follow the late Ken Silva’s Church Growth model of Ecumenical jihad dividing the church.

Holding all to be separated in our Doctrine,

Don Jobson


Introducing: Our Newest Course….Heresy-Hunting 101!

April 27, 2019

heresy

Direct from our Pulpit & Pens we’ll teach you  how to be master Heresy-Hunters such as ourselves:

  1. You cannot underestimate the inability of most Christians to perceive the dangers around them. Again, being discernmentalizing is not about being psychic. (Unless of course you’re like us and have Bible-osmosis). Most discernmentmentalism is just about paying attention to your spiritual surroundings. Most people just will not stop and notice. Go to the shopping mall and watch people. Most people are walking around completely oblivious to the dangers around them, walking from Victoria’s Secret to Spencer’s Gifts without looking up from their Angry Birds app. And if you look long enough, you’ll see somebody else watching people – that’s the discernmentalizing guy. As paranoid as it may be, I’ve always been the type of guy to sit with my back to the wall at a restaurant or watching the hands of the guy in front of me at the convenience store. I’m cognizant of the vehicles that go down my street and have a mental note of the makes and models of all the vehicles on my block in case something is out of place. Most people are simply not that way, and that goes for Christians in the spiritual realm.

  2. You cannot underestimate the inability of most Christians to be students of history – ancient or near history. Ronald Reagan reportedly said, “For liberals, history began when they were born.” For many Christians, that’s probably too optimistic; for many, history began this morning. Another apocalypse date? Really? Again?! And yet, Christians are falling for this. Another omen interpretation? For crying out loud. Rick Warren again insinuates an altogether different cult from last time are his spiritual brothers and you think he just is inarticulate…again. For realsies? Osteen again plays the “I don’t know” card when he’s asked about the exclusivity of Christ? The fact is, most Christians aren’t keeping track of this stuff. They don’t read the news. The first time a sheep “accidentally” bumps off a fellow sheep maybe they’re just clumsy. The second time, it’s bizarre. But the third time that sheep rolls in with mutton between his teeth and lamb’s blood on his chin and you might just have a wolf.

  3. The “discernmentmentalist community” seems to speak in almost absolute unity concerning the more prominent wolves in the flock of modern evangelicalism. There are hyper-Arminians in the Pulpit Bunker. They’re there because they don’t agree with us on discernmentalist issues and they hate and try to pervert our Pure soteriology. There isn’t a Lutheran discernmentalist community, because they’re not Calvinistic enough to be True Christians©®™. There’s a Presbyterian discernmentalist community fighting for our Pure Church polity. There’s a Reformed Baptist discernmentalist community and one in almost every segment of evangelicalism except in charismatic circles (haven’t found one there yet). We may strangle each other over infant “baptism” (see those scare quotes I did just for giggles?) but we agree on Warren, Osteen, Meyer, Moore, the other Moore, the Mystichicks, et al. What could possibly be the reason for that unity, despite the obvious division? It’s #4.

  4. Discernmentalism is a spiritual gift, and should be fostered and promoted as essential to the local and universal church. The reason for unity in the discernment community is that discernment really is a Spirit-led (Hebrews 5:14). The same Spirit that guides the Presbyterians (but not the Lutherans) is the same spirit that leads the Reformed Baptists. We may don’t have different hermeneutics or interpretative presuppositions that allows us to land in different Confessions as our discernmentalist spidey senses all tingle when a wolf draws near.

  5. No matter how many times you’re right, you’re a H8r. No one (well, hardly no one) will come to you and say, “Okay. You were right. Sorry for calling you a H8r.” No, it’s “Lucky guess, but you’re still a H8r.” If you’re in this business for the public accolades, you’ll be sorely disappointed.

If your church is a True Church like ours then they would benefit from our Clear Teachings in this course on Heresy-Hunting as our Teachings are the same as the late great Ken Silva’s Clear Teachings who recommended and followed the Clear Teachings of our Pope of our Truth War John MacArthur (PBUH)’s Clear Teachings—so that makes us more than qualified in our expertise to lecture you on True Heresy-Hunting. Just one second of our course will  make you an expert Discernmentalist and Master Heresy-Hunter just not  as high and mighty in the standards of our Doctrine. Applicants must complete our self-righteousness course first.


Give me that Old Time Ken Silvan Religion!

April 25, 2019

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I the ever-discernmentalizing and mighty I. Todyaso with the self-righteous finger of judgment have made my return after hiding in our underground bunker because of the emergent persecution as recently pointed out by our friend Don Jobson we have faced since one of our co-discernmentalists and mentors the ever Apprising Ken Silva and a few other of our Discermentalist bretheren have fallen in battle in our Truth War.

After many years of  mourning our personal mentor in the ways of our Truth War and much researchmentalizing—it has come to my attention through bible-based osmosis that what the world needs now more than ever is more of that Old Time Ken Silvan Religion.

It saddens me that all those impure in our great doctrines of hate grace didn’t heed our warnings against rampart apostasy. The great falling away is in our midst and I can no longer keep silent. The emergent hordes have brought us to this:

apostasy

Proof of Your Doom

This is why we  had to come back from hiding out in our bunker to point our mighty finger of judgmentalism and laugh at you sinners because we’re saved and you’re not. In fact I think Ken Silva is rolling over in his grave. So remember all we told you. Why…because….

I. Todyaso


“Reformation Eroding!”: Warns Pulpit & Pen

April 24, 2019

idolatry

Once again the Pure Doctrines of our most Holy most illustrious most inerrant Pope of our Truth War (PBUH) have come under attack. Our Research Robot Monkeys have noted that one of our own Al Mohler (who we already exposed as a Socialist against our Clear Teachings) did something that we ODMs disapprove of: mourned the fire at Notre Dame against our Clear Teachings against such. Quote:

Like most in the Evangelical Intelligentsia, Albert Mohler is signaling a virtue that is almost altogether disconnected from his theology. The long, long line to mourn the loss of a Temple of Idols forms somewhere near the headquarters of The Social Gospel Coalition, who lean heavily upon Roman Catholic Liberation Theology to support their progressive political agenda.

Mohler wrote an article entitled History Burning Before Our Eyes in which he laments the loss of so much ‘history.’ The history of Roman Catholicism has been the death of hundreds of thousands of Protestants, abject tyranny, responsibility for the Dark Ages, and the propagation of superstitious anti-Christ religion around the world.

We here at the ODMafia agree that this is a clear perversion of our the Doctrines of Grace and will erode the Protestant Reformation of Martin Luther’s (who observed Easter against our clear teachings on it’s pagan catholic origins) and John Calvin (who was influenced by the Patristics against our clear teachings to avoid all things Catholic). For shame Al—repent back to our Angry ODM Truth War Gospel against all those we deem unworthy of God’s grace or the liberals; gays; emergent hordes; Catholics; semi-pelagians; Rob Bell;  Armenians; pacifists; extraterrestrials; Red Letter Christians; Dracula; Bigfoot; etc. whose God’s love wins will erode our Reformation and the Purity of our Sound Doctrines and prevent us from bringing all of us back to the Dark Ages.

As noted by one of our fellow Discernmentalists after reading the excellent Discernmentalist article by Bullsh@t & Spin Dullspit & Sin Dips#it & Pretend Pulpit & Pen:

“Quite a shame Al Mohler bases his postmodern opinion on to the Reformers none of whom were Catholic. There was not even a shred of mention by them being influenced by Catholic belief. I’m sick of Social Justice promoting Christians? basing all their thoughts on things with “feelings.” I don’t care how you feel about things, you don’t get to change the facts to suit your preferences, just by posting your favorite leftist postmodern opinion. Truth be told the Reformers are rolling over in their graves with everything you jackasses have done to screw up the church.”—Tyrone V. Hoofendorfer

We move that Phil Johnson aka Hugh Jass  of the mighty Truth Warrior site Pyromaniacs force persuade Al to rejoin the ODM fold and take a stand in the Pure Doctrines of our most illustrious most Holy most inerrant Pope over ODMs and internet Calvinists everywhere (PBUH) or revoke his association with Mohler. In case you have forgotten my credentials—I was personally  mentored by the late great Pastor-Teacher to the Online Congregation of the True Remnant of ODMs—who personally sat at the feet of the late Walter Martin by pouring over his Apologetics cassette tapes for several hours. This gives me more than enough self-righteousness to discernmentalize and judgmentalize all those who don’t hold true to the Purity of our Doctrines of the Truth War.


Has Ultra-Truthwarrior Ken Silva Gotten Raptured Early?

April 13, 2011

Evil Emergents may have forced Ken Silva to get raptured early as Apprising has disappeared from the web:


Breaking News: Ken Silva’s Research Robot Monkeys have a Melt-Down

December 21, 2010

It must be an evil Emergent Plot.


Ken Silva’s Upcoming Soon To Be Released New Album

September 30, 2010

“Flesh off the CD plesses Ken “Intelnet Pastol-Teachel” Sirva will soon lerease his ratest cliticarry acraimed hit musicararbum, My Rife As Soopa Discelnmentarist” (Source: Discernmentalize Japan News Agency). “A tru mastapiece!”—Tokyo Times raves! “Bigger than a Toyota and heartier than a pail full of sushi, Ken Silva’s newest album is truly larger than life,” says Osaka Records Corp. 

OD Mafia inside source to all things Ken Silva, our very own Dr. I. Todyaso proclaims:  “Ken has done it again by melding  his dreams of being a rock star with his dreams of being top Discernmentalist with his newest album based on his adventures in Japan. This is sure to be a major hit till Armageddon comes in 2012—when the angry sovereign American flag waving warrior Jesus comes back in His full wrath to slay all those who didn’t participate in John MacArthur’s Truth Wars by pledging allegiance to John MacArthur and Todd Friel’s Angry American God of sovereign wrath and nuclear bombs.” Dr. Truthslayer, Arthur McJohn and I agree.

Here is a music video of the first single from the album—the song is entitled “Ken Silva’s Battle Hymn Of The Truth War” known in Japan by it’s alternative title, “The Jet Jaguar Fight Song”:

Using the rough translation from this early cut of the single we’ve rendered the full translation as such:

“Ken Silva’s Battle Hymn Of The Truth War”

By Ken Silva

HE DISCELMENTARIST MADE OF STEEL…

NO EATS SUSHI FROM A PAIL TOO MUCH RIKE YOGA
KEN SIRVAS ? KEN SIRVAS !
NOTHING NEVER REALLY LOVE HIM WELL
HE DISCELMENTARISM COVERS UP A BASIC INSECURITY
HE DICKEY COVERS UP AN ADDAMS APPLE THE SIZE OF A TOYOTA
HE BASICALLY GOOD-HEARTED BUT WISH HE N JOHN MACALTHUR COULD KNOCK BLIAN MACRAREN OFF THE TOP

KNOCK ! KNOCK ! KNOCK !
WHO’S THERE ?
HIS HEAD LOOKS LIKE JACK NICHOLSON
DON’T SMILE LIKE THAT, IT WILL STAY THAT WAY
YAHMMMAAHOAAHOAAAUGH !…
DO TOUCH MY BAGS IF YOU PLEASE. MR. CUSTOMS MAN


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