Jesus had 12 men for Apostles (no woman) and the Holy Spirit used men only to write the New Testament (no women). Yes a women was the first to proclaim the risen Lord because women are not excluded from evangelism. Please refer to the Pauline letters about women teachers and leaders. People are leaving the Church because there is no power displayed due to the watering down and the compromise of the Gospel! Just because a woman is not allowed to teach (except to other woman and children) does not make them inferior in any way, they are the equal to men in the Lord. The lord has set a template for the running and execution of His will within His church, not your Church nor my Church but His Church!
Our Research Robot Monkeys uncovered even more sinister facts concerning Kanye West’s new found salvation:
No praying, no sermon, no word, just music!
In a recent interview with Jimmy Kimmel Live!, Kim explained that Sunday Service is “more of just a healing experience” than a religious one. “There’s no praying, there’s no sermon, no word, just music, and just a feeling — and it’s Christian,” she explained. So, it’s like a high-vibe spiritual Christian concert that’s welcoming of celebrities and other musicians, such as Katy Perry and Busy Philipps. [Emphasis added]
Radical obedience, NO REPENTANCE OF SIN
During one song, where singers declared that “nothing is too hard for God,” Kanye stopped and prayed to God, imploring the congregation, “all you ask is for radical obedience to You.” [Emphasis added]
We agree as we’re the Greatest most Smart send us your money Discernmentalists of all time! In fact in our esteemed wisdom we’ve already discernmentalized Kanye by osmosis before DTW. We must add that even others agree—we point you to our spiritual descendants:
A post slightly related to ours: https://babylonbee.com/news/joel-osteen-leads-kanye-west-to-top-of-lakewood-church-to-offer-him-all-the-kingdoms-of-the-earth-in-their-splendor?fbclid=IwAR0iGH5b58co4l6uWkQ9XVO2fQL513qNHKiutYLckLRcC6dWfC_fe1kvruo
I think it is safe to say that we can all rest easily in the knowledge that, as it turns out, Madonna is on our side. This is comforting to me. We live in a scary world full of all sorts of pseudo-preacher types. But I take great encouragement that Madonna is, according to this report, preaching the Good News. She was overheard to say:
“For me we all need to be Jesus in our time,” the 48-year-old singer/actress/humanitarian said.
It is important that we fear, and reject, and recoil at the preaching of most–folks like Eugene Peterson (radical contemplative), JK Rowling (radical imagination), CH Spurgeon (radical calvinist), Martin Luther (radical anti-semite) and many, many others. But I think it is safe to say that we can trust Madonna. After all, she is named after The Virgin–how can she be wrong? And she is British and nothing bad ever comes from London.
Many of you are struggling to find a preacher you can listen to and trust. I understand your angst and that is the point of this post: Go to Madonna. Her mouth is
full of nothing speaks nothing but jolly old English Cheer and godspel. And she is not, I stress this: Not, radical about anything. How can we wrong with someone named after The Virgin?
I hope this helps. For your convenience, Madonna’s sermons are available at Itunes and at your local
National Record MartWal-Mart or through BMG. They are conveniently packaged in jewel cases and are available on CD or Cassette and sometimes, for you purists, on Vinyl (sorry, no 8-Tracks available as of this writing). Also, for your worship pleasure, the sermons are set to music and if you look hard enough, you might find a video version at youtube or on VH1: Hits of the 80’s. I recommend her greatest hits: Pappa Don’t Preach, Like a Prayer, Like a Virgin, Angel and Sanctuary. You are sure to grow in some sort of faith.
HT: Jason Goroncy (Jason had nothing to do with post. I just found the article link at his blog. Please don’t blame him or ply him with questions about Madonna’s ordination or her credentials, academic or clergy.)