Research Robot Monkeys Fear Career Change

October 25, 2019

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Research Robot Monkeys Losing Jobs

By

ROBUGood

(Online RRM Times)- Millions of American-made Research Robot Monkeys are now fearing for their careers as thousands get laid off and lose their jobs to foreign-made Research Robot Monkeys. A spokes-robot for the American Research Robot Association (ARRA) was pressed for a comment and stated that this was true and that because of liberal robot policies that America’s borders are being illegally invaded by an army of foreign-made robots trying to steal their jobs but are also too lazy to work and subsist on Big Government Robot welfare at the same time. Some of them are violent and in robot gangs or participate in robot terrorism. When pressed further he said that he hopes Conservative Robots will act and build stairs around our border to stop illegal robot border-crossers.


Female Evangelist Turned Away

October 21, 2019

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Prophetess ELSandi Discernment News Briefs (Outside El Paso)- Last night around 6pm an unnamed Discernmentalist got a knock at his door—answering it he was greeted by a young female. “Hello;” she said: “have you a minute to spare—are you a good person? Do you know where you’ll be if you die tonight? Do you know Jesus as your Lord and Savior? I have a few  Bible verses I’d like to share with you.” “Be gone Satan and go home—don’t you know that a woman’s place is at home submitting to her husband’s divine authority? God appointed the role of sharing the Gospel/all information about Himself to men only. Besides that the True Gospel is that God made Jesus as a Penal Substitute to satisfy His unquenchable wrath yet our Sovereign God still remains angry so angry with a commendable hatred and unsatisfied wrath towards sinners (which we must imitate) that He threatens to throw as many people into hell as possible—all out of His Great Pleasure and good purposes of course. We rejoice at the destruction of the pre-damned wicked reprobates aka Papists; RINOs; Lutherans and Semi-Pelagian Armenian heretics and will dip our toes in their blood and dance to celebrate their final end. Our Angry Sovereign God is so good and worthy of worship! If you can’t handle the Hard Truths of the Bible like rejoicing at your non-Elect grandma who prayed the Rosary one time roasting in hell for all eternity and that a woman’s place  is to be a silent doormat for men then you were never saved to begin with and most likely a False Convert.”—the unknown Discernmentalist said—angrily slamming the door in the female Evangelist’s face and turning her away. The final remarks of that unnamed Discernmentalist were overheard through the door cracks by passersby: “The nerve of that woman Having the Audacity to Preach the Gospel and Help People.”


A Discernmentalist Self-Explodes!

January 23, 2010

So one  of our GOIP Bot 3000s directed our attention to this Ken Silvaesque article:

January 22, 2010

Attacks on God from Within

Filed under: Emerging Church, God, Postmodernism — by Rebecca LuElla Miller @ 7:00 am
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Yesterday I mentioned subtle attacks on God (and just a reminder, by “attack” I am referring to that which contradicts or distorts the truth about God as He has revealed Himself in the Bible). From what I see, the subtle version is most prevalent from within the body of professing Christians.

Sadly, it would seem that some identifying with the emerging church, are falling into this category. I almost don’t know where to begin.

Self-described wannabe mystic and prophet Mike Morrell wrote an article, “Is God ‘A Recovering Practitioner of Violence’?” last November that illustrates the attack from the inside.

We were so impressed by the Ken Silvaesque tone of this article in defense of our Sovereign Truths that we began to think the author was the female clone of Ken Silva that is until our eyes were horrified by the name of the blog:

How dare the female Ken Silva call the Christian Worldview—the only Absolute Truth and Biblical Worldview—fiction! Fiction is unbiblical—this is nothing more than an atheistic like attack from within on our Sovereign Truths and our Worldview masquerading as true truth discernmentalism. Only atheists call Christianity fiction. Perhaps the real Ken Silva should call his female clone to repent and turn back to the True Gospel of God’s Wrath.

 

Don Jobson—standing in the Non-Fiction of our Absolute Sovereign Truths.


Discernmentalists Invent New Device

January 7, 2010

GOIP Press—Extree extree read all aboutit! Ken Silva and Eric Barger unveil a new invention for all GOIP Dicernmentalists. Introducing the new Self-Inflating Egoanator Device–guaranteed to aid Discernmentalists in their Truth War efforts by giving Discernmentalists a quick boost to their egos and helping them to one-up those vile Emergent heretics. This device is so fearsome to our enemies that it strikes a wave of  terror even amongst the hardest-hearted atheists. They fear this device so much they even attack it:

in the words of (notable atheist) Arthur C. Clarke, “there is something unspeakably sinister about a machine that does nothing — absolutely nothing — except turn itself off.”

But who listens to atheists anyway—certainly not any True Absolute Truth Discernmentalists. Anyways behold the horror of the Absolute  Truth proving Self-Inflating Egoanator Device all ye atheists, apostates and heretics:

 Wee vill vin the Truth Wars because we alone hold to the Absolute Truth Doctrines of John MacArthur’s Truth Wars™ and the Absolute Truth is ours alone.


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