Selachophiles theologically suspect?

May 16, 2019

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“Be not carried about with divers and strange doctrines. For it is a good thing that the heart be established with grace; not with meats, which have not profited them that have been occupied therein.”—Hebrews 13:9 (KJV AV1611)

The Mighty Phil Johnson of Hugh Jass Ministries warns that shark-lovers the world over are possibly theologically suspect as being complicit in the Pelagic Captivity of the Church. Many Pelagic shark divers* may be secretly hiding behind your church’s pulpit holding the Truth hostage by teaching the heresy that God is love and that God loves the whole world. Phil began to suspect one shark diver who visited no Grace Community Church of spiritual terrorism when said diver began teaching divers’ doctrines and Armenian mathematics such as 2 + 2 always equaling 4 rather than the Biblically correct answer from our Reformed mathematics textbooks that 2 + 2 mostly equals 10. Soon the shark diver began babbling in tongues in what appeared to be Pornographic Divination.

Quote Hugh Jass on the incident when said diver began babbling Charismatic Chaos: “I had a vision of Mickey Mouse jumping over a shark…. and I thought Shark Week was over.” Alarming Phil’s Mighty shark-fighting senses—Phil (in a fit of Semi-Donatism)** began to punch this diver in the nose with Doctrine from the Pope of all Truth’s Mighty book fighting for Certainty in an Age of Deception. Phil rebuked that Semi-Pelagic heretic:  “You can’t be from Saint Augustine with your impure Doctrines…you must be from Rome. Only we are True Christians semi-Pelagic reprobate.”—forgetting for a moment that Phil’s Doctrines also come from Rome. Phil’s overlord the Great Pastor-Teacher of Grace to You=Condemnation to you fame John MacArthur (PBUH) commended Phil for preaching the True Gospel of the Ways of  the Master himself’s Truth War.

We however move that we hold these Pelagic beasts captive so that the church is no longer captive to their errors such as their heretical divers’ doctrines. We also believe Phil has a Hugh Jass case of Selachophobia.

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*- Phil’s depiction of that semi-Pelagic diver

**- From 393 on, Augustine took the offensive against the Donatist church. His contempt for them was obvious: “The clouds roll with thunder, that the house of the Lord shall be built throughout the earth; and these frogs sit in their marsh and croak ‘We are the only Christians’!”

 

 


Your Daily Dose of Absolute Biblical Truth

May 10, 2019

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Post-millennialism and amillennialism is really the same thing. I like to call amillennialism negative, and postmillennialism positive. That’s just two ways to look at the same thing. It’s two ways to view human history. One says it’s not the Kingdom. The other says it is the Kingdom. One says moving toward the coming of Christ there will be no Kingdom. The other says there will be a Kingdom. But in both cases it will be the flow of history under the influence of the church. So they’re really looking at the same thing. One calls it a kingdom and says it will expand and expand and expand, that’s the positive spin. The other looks at it as a spiritual kingdom also but says it will decline and decline and decline until Jesus finally comes. But in both cases they would deny the actual thousand-year reign of Christ and they would deny that Christ will reign and rule on earth and literally fulfill all His promises to the nation Israel given in the Old Testament covenants. Whether you’re an amillennialist or a postmillennialist, you basically say Israel forfeited all its promises, forfeited all its privileges, forfeited all those things that God declared in covenant that He would give to them in the future and they forfeit it by their disobedience to the Mosaic Covenant, by their apostasy from true religion and by their rejection of their Messiah. Therefore, Israel has been permanently set aside so that the only Kingdom will be that Kingdom that we call the church ruled by Christ either expanding to take over the world, or existing in the world, and finally in heaven. So, it is really one of the strange ironies of Reformed Theology. And therefore it’s a strange irony in the church today that those who love the doctrine of sovereign election most, that would be Reformed theologians, those who love the doctrine of sovereign election most supremely and who love that doctrine most sincerely and…this is going to be a long sentence…and who are most unwavering in their devotion to the glory of God, the honor of Christ, the work of the Holy Spirit in regeneration, the veracity and inerrancy of Scripture, those who are usually the most fastidious in Bible interpretation, yes those who are the most careful and intentionally biblical regarding all categories of doctrine, those who see themselves as guardians of biblical truth, those who are passionate to get it right, those who are not content to be wrong at all, and those who most heartily agree on the essential matters of Christian truth so that they labor with all their powers to examine in a Berean fashion every relevant text to discern the true interpretation of all matters of divine revelation are…and there’s the main verb in the sentence…are in varying degrees of disinterest in applying their skills to the end of the story and rather content to be in happy if not playful disagreement in regard to the vast biblical data on eschatology as if the end doesn’t matter much…period. Or another way to say it would be this, how many of you have attended an amillennial prophecy conference? There isn’t such a thing. If you don’t know what you believe about the future, you can’t preach on it. Whether you are a pessimistic amillennialist, or an optimistic amillennialist, that’s a post-millennialist, you don’t know what to do with prophetic truth because if you interpret prophetic truth in the same normal natural way you interpret all the rest of the passages of Scripture, you’re going to end up a pre-millennialist. It’s inevitable. And so you have to change the rules of interpretation. And once you say the Bible doesn’t mean what it says, then we have no idea what it means. Certainly you have no idea what it means, neither does anybody else.—Pope Pyro aka John MacArthur (PBUH)

 

The only True Eschatology is premillennial dispensationalism—never mind the fact that it and the rapture are nowhere to be found in the Bible nor was it taught for the first 1800+ years of Church History. It also doesn’t matter that it came from the teachings of Darby and Scofield and that the Rapture has it’s origins in demonic mysticism. If our Pope of the Truth Warthe only True Living Teacher of God’s Word with a Study Bible named after him (complete with his personal study notes; annotations; maps and teachings and opinions) teaches Premillennial Dispensationalism and the Rapture as a FACT in the annotations of his Holy Study Bible and from his pulpit then we can know with Absolute Certainty that these teachings are Absolute Biblical Truth!


Judging Books by the Authors on their Covers

May 4, 2019

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Since Eternity Matters we bring you this important lesson in Discernmentalism: ‘With the late RHE as the author you can judge a book by the cover…(for she) was a false teacher who lead countless people astray and affirmed them in their sin and rebellion. And she aggressively supported pro-abortion policies.’ (Link)

We here at the ODMafia agree as our Research Robot Monkeys have also discermentalized the following important facts to fit the narrative of this essential truth of this teaching on judgmentalism:

  1. Saint Augustine was the author of “The City of God” and was a false teacher because he was a Mary-worshipping popish-pagan semi-Pelagian Romanist Catholic who lead countless people astray and affirmed them in their sin and rebellion. And he aggressively supported pro-war policies (against non-Catholics).
  2. Martin Luther was the author of “The Jews and Their Lies” so therefore was a false teacher who followed Augustinianism and lead countless people astray and affirmed them in their sin and rebellion. And he aggressively supported anti-Semitic as well as anti-Capitalist policies.
  3. John Calvin was the author of “The Institutes of Christian Religion” and was a false teacher who lead countless people astray and affirmed them in their sin and rebellion by following Luther’s Protestant doctrines of protesting God’s ordained authority (the Pope). And he aggressively supported pro-overregulation by spying on others as well as pro-murder policies by executing heretics.
  4. Charles Spurgeon was the author of “Morning & Evening” and was a follower of Calvin but also a “Reformed” Baptist and was a false teacher who lead countless people astray and affirmed them in their sin and rebellion by rejecting Calvin’s Clear Teachings on Baptism. And he aggressively supported anti-imperialist and anti-war policies.
  5. G. K. Chesterton was the author of “Orthodoxy” who was a false teacher for being an apostate Catholic philosopher who lead countless people astray and affirmed them in their sin and rebellion. And he aggressively supported pro-wealth redistribution policies.
  6. C. S. Lewis was the author of “Mere Christianity” as well as Children’s fantasy novels so was a false teacher who lead countless people astray and affirmed them in their sin and rebellion by teaching universalism. And he aggressively supported pro-egalitarian policies.
  7. Doug Wilson is the author of “Evangellyfish” and is a false teacher who leads countless people astray and affirms them in their sin and rebellion by teaching semi-Arian heresy. And he aggressively supports pro-racist neo-Confederate and pro-rape policies.
  8. James White is the author of “The Potter’s Freedom” and also is a false teacher by teaching that social issues have nothing to do with the Gospel (despite the witness of church history) who leads countless people astray and affirms them in their sin and rebellion. And he aggressively supports the never Trump movement and anti-social justice policies.

This list could go on for an eternity but because Eternity Matters we have more important things to do like teaching the Good News of our Angry God who hates everybody not like us or don’t believe in the Purity of our great Doctrines.

A recent post of ours by Dr. I. Todyaso slightly related to this one: New Emerging Heretic Bible Found.


Good News: We Commendably Hate You!

April 19, 2019

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Spreading the Good News of our Sovereign God who sacrificed Himself to Himself to appease Himself of His own anger that He Himself has against His own creation doing what He Himself preordained them to do so that His Sovereign wrath might be satisfied.

We know Christ’s death satisfied God’s wrath because His wrath came to an end, after which Jesus was fully restored in glory.We know Christ’s death satisfied God’s wrath because His wrath came to an end, after which Jesus was fully restored in glory.[1] Now, sometimes when you talk about God being a God of wrath, certain people get disturbed.  And they don’t understand how God can be a God of anger, and God can be a God of wrath, and God can be a God of fury, a God of terror.  But that’s because they don’t understand God.  Let’s see if we can’t help ourselves to a deeper understanding of His wrath in perspective with all of His other attributes. God’s attributes are balanced in His divine perfection.  And they are perfectly balanced.  If God did not have wrath, and God did not have anger, then He would not be God.  God is perfect in love, on the one hand, and He is equally perfect in hate, on the other hand.  Just as totally as He loves, so totally does He hate.  As His love is unmixed, so is His hate unmixed.  Of Christ, it says in Hebrews 1:9, “Thou hast loved righteousness, and hated iniquity.”  And there is that perfect balance in the nature of God.  As I mentioned, one of the tragedies of Christianity in our time is a failure to preach the hatred of God, the judgment of God.  We’re so saccharine.  We’re so sentimental.  We’re so kind of mushy in our Christianity.  When is the last time you heard a new song on the wrath of God?  Heard one lately?  I haven’t.[2]—John MacArthur (PBUH) [1] [2]

Yet our God still remains angry—so angry with an unsatisfied anger and commendable hatred against all those sinners who refuse to bow down to our Pure Doctrines such as Happy Heretics like Matthew Distefano. In fact our God is still so angry with an unsatisfied commendable hatred that He threatens to come back any day smite sinners and pour down His unsatisfied angry wrath on them and throw all apostates into a Lake of Fire to burn for all eternity unless we share in His unsatisfied sovereign wrath and commendable hatred of all those not like us. This is why we of the Secret Order of Discernmentalists United in Ministry can say that we commendably hate you in the most biblical way in imitation of the unsatisfied wrath of our angry sovereign God.


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