Mobile Discernmentalists Unit

March 25, 2010

Recently the Department of Motorized Discernmentalism created a new Highway Discernmentalist Patrol Unit aka the Mobile Discernmentalism Unit or MobDU for short.

MobDU‘s primary tasks are:

  • Discernmentalizing Eco-friendly vehicles
  • Tagging and registering non-gas guzzling vehicles
  • Making sure all vehicles on the road pollute the environment in order to speed up Jesus’ hasty yet sure return, the End Times and the Rapture
  • Checking  to see if all cars have at least one unregenerate reprobated non-Elect heathen on board just in case the Rapture happens soon as those Left Behind will need to man the car
  • Scouting out Emergent Vehicles
  • Alerting Discernmentalists whenever  Brian McLaren’s Monster Truck and Dan Kimball’s Spider Vehicle of Doom are nearby

Among other Discernmentalizing tasks—also meet our new Armored MobDU Patrol Unit for extra protection against Doctrinal Impurities, the Emerging Apostasy, Emergentness and other such Heresies:


Eric Barger Discovers A Warp Hole To A Secret NWO Location In His Own Backyard

March 25, 2010

Recently a black hole appeared in Eric Barger’s own backyard. Upon further investigation our Research Robot Monkeys discernmentalized that the black hole was a warp hole. Not only that but the  warp hole is a warp zone to a secret New World Order location: the Illuminati Party Headquarters. Sending our GOIP Investigating Excavator Research Robot Monkeys into the warp hole to infiltrate the Illuminati Party Headquarters they discovered this:

“Another performance of the AM Jazz ensemble at the Scottish Rite Masonic Center–Eric Barger as vocalist.”  Clearly this proves that Eric Barger is a Secret NWO Agent and Leader.


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