Discernmentalists: Go Forth And Blog!

Discernmentalists our  Führer has commanded us to go forth and blog—so therefore we must. We must blog in a self-righteous manner about the glories of our Truth Wars. We must blog not in a Roman Catholic way—but in a Bible-Based way by attacking and slandering those who don’t agree with our Sovereign Truths. Todd Friel adds that we should be as ignorant and arrogant as possible when we blog as a way of getting our Reformed message of Absolute Truth out there. Also we should always speak in Discernmentalese when blogging about our neo-Platonism Absolute Truth Doctrines. Well get to it—go forth and blog!

Don Jobson—blogging against for the Truth.

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New Device Could Keep Our Churches Pure!

“It’s horrible, loud and irritating,” said Eddie Holder, 15,

 

After reading this article about how a device is used to keep teens (which I believe are the worse of sinners as they practice teen pregnancy, dance like Hannah Montana and other sins) away from buildings I felt inspired by God to tell others this device can be used to keep sinners away from our churches. If someone has not taken the “official Church membership” class, and passed they will not receive a special pair of ear muffs that will help reduce the annoying noise. The “sinner” will hear the noise and be chased out of our churches keeping them pure.

We here at the Online Discernmentalist Mafia fully endorse this product.

“What’s the meaning of all the noise in the city?”,

I. Todyaso