Pray To A Plant: Get Saved!

The latest threat against our Gospel of Total Depravity and the taint of Original Sin in all of Creation from the Purpose Seeker Driven Emergence Quasi-Universalist Cult of Liberal Christianity is plant worship. Yes plant worship! How dare these purpose seekers deny the Total Depravity of Creation and the stain of Original Sin in all of nature by confessing their sins in the midst of plants.

Its as if they truly believe that God is everywhere and in all things as per Romans 8:18-30 so:

If we don’t want our churches turning into prayer-halls to shrubs and plants; if we don’t want our children crafting idols out of creation, then we need to make sure that our Bible Colleges have suitable gardeners who are using the right tools. There is only one seed God gives, that is his word as found in the explanations and study notes of  John MacArthur’s Study Bible (PBUI). There is only one seed which produces life, that is bearing mental assent to the Gospel of Calvinistic Soteriology perfectly articulated and accurately proclaimed fully in all of it’s illustrious and glorious points as professed and ascribed by our Pope John MacArthur (PBUH).

Besides that the only idol worthy of our church sanctuaries is the American flag—Sola Gloria to our military might! We should daily be confessing our sins of lapsed Patriotism by tearfully placing our hands upon our hearts and pledging allegiance to our Holy Flag—and mightily thanking our soldiers for invading other people’s countries and defending our freedom to worship.

Anyways we have reason to suspect Rob Bell is behind this latest threat as he already believes shaking hands with the Pope saves you so why not add praying to plants via guilt by association in the growing list of his many heresies.

Breaking: Rick Warren Reemerges with Purpose… Seeker-Driven Machine!

Rick Warren’s new Seeker-Driven All Purpose Machine of Doom

Truth War Digest- An Old Enemy Reemerges with a New Threat:

Recently our Rick Warren Threat level alarms were alerted to a new sinister Purpose-Driven Seeker plot by the sinfully-ecumenical purposeful pope of all things seeker-driven-ness against our Clear Teachings that life just like the church must be as purposeless and terrible as possible. Just listen to this hideously apostate and heretical quote: “Through his Word, God helps you to see life through a different perspective. Psalm 119:105 says, “Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path” (NIV). God’s Word gives us direction in life; it shows us the path God wants us on.”—Rick Warren

Elsewhere Todd Friel (Wretched) [who only wishes he were half the discernmentalist as we are—otherwise he would have detected Warren’s new hideously apostate Seeker-Driven Purpose machine before we did] has discernmentalized:

Friel highlights comments made by Warren in a conversation between him and the Orange County Bishop Kevin Vann which he says were way too ‘ecumenical’ and lacked distinction between the two strands of the Christian faith.

“The Roman Catholic Church has led so many people away from truth,” says Friel. “We committed to pray for each other,” said Warren about his growing friendship with the Bishop. “I’m sorry, I wouldn’t ask a Roman Catholic to pray for me,” responds Friel. “Those prayers are not being heard especially if they are offered to a saint or to Mary.”

We know God doesn’t listen to the prayers of anyone unless they believe in our Doctrine first and that none of our Godly ministries have purposes nor are they seeker-driven. This is why we must call all our Truth Warriors to unite around our Doctrine and help us take a stand and put down and submerge Rick Warren’s new threat of a sinisterly sinfully-ecumenical (against our Clear Teachings against such) seeker-driven machine of purpose.

John Piper Becoming Purpose-Driven

Our Research Robot Monkeys thanks to  Ken Silva’s help have uncovered a new scandal for Discernmentalists to expose: Warrengate. Warrengate is scandalous because John Piper (soft on heresy) has invited  Rick Warren (emergent apostate snake) to speak at one of  his Desiring God Conferences. This is evil because not only is Rick Warren (purpose-driven apostate serpent) a snake—we have reason to believe that he is a chameleon too. Here is what Rick Warren (postmodern Roman Catholic loving Jesuit chameleon) may look like on any given day:

We are disappointed that John Piper (soft on heresy) would try to make  his Calvinism Purpose Driven as we Discernmentalists are not Purpose Driven people. We are especially not driven by the sole purpose of converting (forcing/coercing) all Christians into being stark raving maniacal Right-Wing Christo-Fascist Dortian Calvinazis. In fact we are so disappointed that John Piper (soft on heresy) would invite a heretic like Rick Warren (Walt Disney’s gay-loving clone) to one of his conferences that we must call Piper’s salvation into question—as we have reason to believe that Piper has rejected the holiest of all Christian doctrines: Limited Atonement. The Apostate Arminian Today caught Piper’s error regarding the atonement:

“After much study of God’s Word, I have come to the conclusion that the Calvinist position concerning the doctrine of the atonement is outside the teachings of Scripture. For many years I have taught that the Calvinist position on the atonement was absolutely correct. I taught that the atonement was the elect. Jesus died to save the elect to the glory of God. I taught that God the Father sent the Son to glorify His name by dying in place of the elect and through His Spirit He now draws them unto Himself. I was incorrect.

I now teach that the atonement was for all and this truly brings glory to God. For many years I have sought to exalt God through faithful teaching of His Word. I have tried to emphasize that the Westminster Confession of Faith is correct when it say that the chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever. This is accomplished best through the unlimited atonement of Jesus Christ. God is glorified and His honor is proclaimed when we declare that Jesus died for all men and that all men can be saved through His atonement. What a wondrous work is Jesus’ death and resurrection! How mighty is our God!”

We are outraged as Limited Atonement is the very Discernmentalist Gospel itself—the very fact  that God chose and froze to only save us Discernmentalists alone in our Discernmentalist methodologies but He didn’t choose to save you in your non-Discernmentalist methodologies. Afterall without belief in the Limited Atonement how will we be able to tell who is apostate: Emergents, Arminians, etc.—for without belief in the Limited Atonement we wouldn’t be able to practice divisionism and divisional ecumenism in separating ourselves from the unsaved. This is why we must put a stop to Rick Warren (Obama supporting socialist apostate chameleon heretic) and John Piper (soft on heresy) ‘s Purpose Driven Calvinism and return everyone to the Pure Bible-based Doctrines of Dortian Calvinism.