Chad Holtz And Mike Morrell’s Emergent Village Possibly Found

April 19, 2011

Our Research Robot Monkeys recently infiltrated an Emergent Cohort compound and discovered horrible abominations such as couches and candles. In this candle-lit ashram there were a bunch of scantily-clad men and women participating in the usual routine Emergent rituals of nude centering prayer (with much icons, incense, chanting, and apophatic silence). There was a lot of stretching going on and not in a good way. Our Research Robot Monkeys were horrified at all they saw and we are too. All we can say is Beware… Beware the Emergent Hordes and their Seeker-Sensitive Purpose-Driven lives!

Video of a typical Emergent Village pow-wow:


Todd Friel Slips Into Arminian Heresy

January 6, 2011

Let there be no misunderstanding at this point. The Arminian limits the atonement as certainly as does the Calvinist. The Calvinist limits the extent of it in that he says it does not apply to all persons…while the Arminian limits the power of it, for he says that in itself it does not actually save anybody. The Calvinist limits it quantitatively, but not qualitatively; the Arminian limits it qualitatively, but not quantitatively. For the Calvinist it is like a narrow bridge that goes all the way across the stream; for the Arminian it is like a great wide bridge that goes only half-way across. As a matter of fact, the Arminian places more severe limitations on the work of Christ than does the Calvinist. (Lorraine Boettner, The Reformed Doctrine of Predestination (Phillipsburg, New Jersey: Presbyterian and Reformed Publishing Company, 1932) p. 153.)

Typical Arminianist semi-Pelagian heretic: “Jesus died for the sins of the world.”

True Bible-Believer: “No He didn’t. Jesus died for the Elect and the sins of the Elect only.” (John 3:16; John 1:29)

Around a minute and fifty-eight seconds into the video clip above, Todd made a blasphemous error—he commited Roman Arminian and  Popish idolatries by saying that: “Jesus shed His blood for forgiveness of the sins of the world.” Therefore Todd has just denied the Atonement—which is very dangerous ground to be on. Perhaps Todd has read one too many books by that false teacher, arch-heretic and anti-Christ Brian McLaren against Ken Silva’s clear teachings. Todd you have just been exposed as a Arminianist semi-Pelagian heretic—although we suspect Todd is really secretly a Crypto-Lutheran trying to pollute our Pure Doctrines.


The Heart Of The Discernmentalist Gospel

November 2, 2010

Most of you are going to hell because you were not specially chosen and frozen like We God’s Truth Biblical Elect (Calvinazis) are—so quake now in mortal fear and terror at the horrors that await ye, reprobates, especially if you are Roman Catholic, Arminian, a Pentecostal tongue-babbler, Emergent, queer or even worse all of the above:

P.S. Hell is a “real place” so We’d hate to be all of you reprobates (non-Calvinazis) on the day that you die so remember We tried to lovingly warn you by the Absolute Truth of our Pure Doctrines which have saved Us from an eternity in flames.

P. P. S. This is also warning to Pastorboy aka (Name withheld upon request) to get back in line with our Pure Doctrines.


Rhoblogy Caught With Couches And Candles…Drinking Emergent Coffee…

July 5, 2010

 One of our new SPY LOCUST 1000s has caught Rhoblogy participating in scandalous Emerging/Emergent activities:

Fact #1: Emergents love couches and candles.

Fact # 2: Emergents love coffee.

Fact # 3: Emergent services typically consist of sitting around  on couches sipping on Communistic coffee by the light of Roman Catholic candles.

Fact # 4: Emergent coffee leads to supporting the False Gospel of Socialism aka the Social Gospel.

Fact # 5: Emergent candles lead to the scandalous, unholy and unbiblical practice of  New Age Roman Catholic Contemplative Centering Prayers. 

Fact # 6: All of the above are man-exalting heresies.


Todd Friel Discovers A New ODM Church!

June 23, 2010

 


Trish Of Way Of The Master Emerges Into The Emerging Apostasy Of Emergent Heresy

June 16, 2010

 

Lately our Research Robot Monkeys have been hard at work discernmentalizing all who stand in our way and in the way of God’s Truth. Our ever-vigilant, ever-valiant Research Robot Monkeys who are always watching out for heresy with their ever-keen mechanical eyes have been exposing a lot of turncoats in our midst on a daily basis. Why just recently they caught Chris Rosebrough aiding and abetting a secret agent of the New World Order and even more recently they’ve caught Trish of Way Of The Master fame supporting the heretical Sinner’s Prayer formula but wait it gets much worse than that Trish also has been caught telling readers of her site to “meditate” on a Bible verse not only that but she added to the Word of God. Our Research Robot Monkeys have caught it all here and have exposed it for all the world to see:

This is just as bad as when our Research Robot Monkeys caught Chris Rosebrough quoting from the Brian McLaren endorsed Roman Catholic apostate G. K. Chesterton. Why is asking someone to meditate on a Bible verse so evil you may ask—why it may lead someone to slip into taking on the Emergent practice of meditation aka “Lectio Divina” or worse than that they may even take on the New Age practice of chanting. Lectio Divina of course is defined as:

Lectio Divina is Latin for divine reading, spiritual reading, or “holy reading,” and represents a traditional Christian practice of prayer and scriptural reading intended to promote communion with God and to increase in the knowledge of God’s Word. It is a way of praying with Scripture that calls one to study, ponder, listen and, finally, pray and even sing and rejoice from God’s Word, within the soul.

Now you can see why such a practice is so evil and blasphemous as our affectionate Uncle the great Pastor-Teacher-Scholar Ken Silva’s clear teachings profess. This is why no True Bible-Believing Christian ever meditates on the Bible. All the True Bible Believing Christian has to do is read a Bible verse once in a non-contextualized way and then they are able to grasp the Absolute Truth of it with such Absolute Clarity and Absolute Certainty that there is little room for misunderstanding. However if there is a small inkling of misunderstanding, all the True Bible Believing Christian has to do is consult the handy reference of John MacArthur’s Bible Commentaries©®™ for instant comprehension of the True meaning of the verse in question. 

Now you can also see why we are also disappointed with Trish for slipping into Emerging heresy. However this is not a total shock as Dr. Seymore Spurgeon caught Ray Comforts (Awesome) of Way Of The Master in the actual act of practicing the New Age ritual of Lectio Divina as for Trish’s adding to the Word of God all we have to say is hath not God said in His  Inerrant and Infallible Word the Bible: “5 Every word of God proves true; he is a shield to those who take refuge in him. 6 Do not add to his words, lest he rebuke you and you be found a liar.” [Proverbs 30:5-6 (ESV)]


Another T-Shirt Experience: Using T-Shirts To Persecute Us…

June 5, 2010

 

Dear Friends,

I feel  that I must vent out my personal frustrations in anger after witnessing such a blatant display of hate and heresy of such unbiblical proportions. I have personally been persecuted and we have come under attack by “T-shirt wearing thugs.” I am still morally outraged by this event. I do not know if I wish to recall the tale but being the good Discernmentalist that I am—I must for the sake of attacking defending the Truth and upholding the higher standards of  Discernmentalism that we’ve set over everyone:

Anyways… so I was walking down the street the other afternoon as is my usually afternoon pleasure when I noticed some sinner wearing the most hideously and ungodly T-shirt imaginable…I mean this T-shirt was so evil, I could hardly hide my disgust at such shameless filth. I felt persecuted by such sheer blasphemy. How dare the enemies of our Pure Truth be allowed the liberty to wear such indecent trash in our midst! You wouldn’t believe such repugnant filth could exist on our planet unless you were in my shoes the other afternoon. Frankly it has become increasingly more aware to us just how far sinners will go to compromise Truth in their lack of concern for morality. Unfortunately  my camera-phone accidently captured the moment of this abomination of moral degradation which I reluctantly now must reveal to you in all it’s persecuting horror:

      

I stood there for what was only an awkward pause of a few seconds before I immediately forced myself up to that sinner with condescending arrogance and self-righteously said: “Look reprobate! Wear your trash in YOUR OWN home not around me. Repent of your man-exalting heresy now, sinner, before it’s too late—I’m  just telling you this Absolute Biblical Truth in love, of course.” To which he replied: “why are you judging and hating on me, it’s a free country you know.”  “IT’S A FREE COUNTRY YOU KNOW,” I snidely mimiced back, “so I have the right to tell you that unless you believe the Biblical Gospel Truth, you’re going to hell.” “But I do,” he said, ” now you are just persecuting me for my religious liberty, stop it.”   Seeing as that Godless reprobate was too hardened against the Hard Truths of our Bible—I began walking away quickly and remarked back in a patronizing defensive tone: “Me? Persecuting you? You’re the one persecuting me by wearing that hate T-shirt of yours.”

I saw that the Lord had probably saved me a real, possibly dangerous, hassle, as he was obviously just one of several sinners and sickos on the street that day. I couldn’t hear what he and his buddies were saying as I was walking away but, by the looks of them, I can imagine that the text on his T-shirt might have been lightweight in comparison. Frankly, they had every appearance of thugs, young punks just waiting for a turn on “Cops” or a posting on “America’s Most Wanted.” I realize that today it is “cool” to repeatedly tattoo and pierce and display how tough you think you are, but this kid had decided to tell the whole world off in the foulest of words and his friends fit the sentiment displayed on his shirt! Still angered in a way that simply does not come upon me often, I walked to my car, got in, and observed. Knowing it was fruitless, I decided to call the local sheriff precinct anyway, if only to vent my feelings. When I explained what the situation was to the officer who answered my call, he said, “Sir, I completely agree with you. It is gross and bad for the public in general, but the words on his shirt are constitutionally protected free speech and there is nothing we can do about it.” The officer again sympathized in agreement with me and we hung up.

In the glorious Name of our loving God of Law and vengeance and the wonderful blessings of His Absolute Sovereign Wrath that I serve,

Don Jobson

P. S. And remember these Pure Truth words from our gospels which I keep close to my heart: “Blessed are you when you persecute others for the sake of Truth; cursed are they who persecute you back.”


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