April 27, 2019
Introducing the long lost last film to star our dearly departed affectionate Uncle and Pastor-Teacher the ever-Apprising Ken Silva: SILVA BULLET. A Aperising Pictures Production of Apprising Films recently relocated—found safely hidden within our super secret archives deep within the bowels of our secret lair: the Truth Bunker. Now newly remastered with help from GOIP Productions and including a special Anime version of Ken’s life and commentary by our very own Dr. I. Todyaso.
Tagline: “You’ll laugh…you’ll cry…you’ll be thoroughly “Apprised!”
Summary— SILVA BULLET begins with our hero Uncle Pure Teacher (Ken Silva) having to discernmentalize between two emerging werewolf cases. Now there are two categories of emerging werewolf cases; ‘false’ or Emerging Disorder cases and Genuine emerging cases:
- Emerging Disorder is a mental condition in which the subject (called Emergent) believes that he or she is a emerging Christian. The subject does not actually change shape, but is nevertheless capable of being as dangerous as an actual werewolf. Most cases of supposed werewolfry are really the works of emerging victims.
- Emerging TO BEAST In real werewolves a physical change to wolf form does occur. The change can be voluntary (at will), or can be forced by certain cycles of post-modernistic beliefs and certain songs (ie not ones approved by Apprising Ministries).
- WEREWOLVES & EMERGING Werewolves are immune from Apprising Ministries and from most physical diseases due to the constant regeneration of their physical tissue. They can, therefore, be virtually immortal. However, they can be killed by a “Silva Bullet” carefully aimed at an Emerging Church member’s heart.
Non-emerging werewolves who have been mistaken for Emerging (ie Rob Bell) are said also to be immune to most physical diseases. It is suspected though that Rick Warren could be a vampire however, thanks to our discernmentalism we do not need hard evidence…we can peer into his mind if we concentrate hard enough to reveal his obvious vampirism or wolfery. The film ends with our hero Uncle Pure Teacher trying to “apprise” all the werewolves with his “Silva Bullet” until he succeeds in his mission of taking out the Super Emerging Werewolf: Brian McLaren—bringing an end to the Emerging/Emergent Church once and for all.
This film is 100% ODMafia and Truthslayer endorsed and meets our seal of approval.
March 9, 2010
Rhoblogy forsakes his convictions to stand against all errors, false teachers and heretics who have crept into the Church. We’ve caught him in the act of being soft on heresy and heretics like Mark Driscoll—here Rhology notes:
Thursday, March 04, 2010
is usually a good read, and they often have useful and discerning stuff about the zillions of shades of heresy and heterodoxy that are always popping up in the church of Jesus. However, recently they announced that they are no longer going to endorse two massively helpful websites – CARM and Monergism – because they endorse Mark Driscoll of Mars Hill Church in Seattle. Happily, the author of D.C. will be contacting each ministry to let them know of his concerns and his removal of his endorsement for what it’s worth, and no doubt asking them to reconsider their endorsement of Driscoll. I would hope Monergism and CARM (read: Matt Slick) would go ahead and heavily qualify any endorsement of Driscoll that might remain, because that’s the right thing to do. But to go so far as this? Here in order is the 1st comment I left
, the response
, and my reply
Brothers, I’m a bit concerned.
I love your site and always have ever since I heard of it and read it.
In this case, I wonder if you’re not going a bit far when you decide to stop endorsing such sources as CARM and especially Monergism just b/c they don’t dislike Driscoll. Not everyone can spend all the time you guys do on discernment type stuff.
How dare he attack John MacArthur’s Blessed Absolute Truth Wars™ and Discernmentalism. We Know that all True Christians are Absolute Truth Warriors and that all Absolute Truth Warriors spend all their time Discernmentalizing their fellow Christians. Doesn’t he know that the mark of a True Christian is to divide and split churches over random, arbitrary and non-Essential teachings and our own egotistical agendas? Clearly Rhology is in error—but wait he attacks True Discernmentalism even further:
Are you not separated from the profane already? You actively call out Driscoll for his many sins, and that’s great, and needed. But did you read Phil Johnson’s piece that I linked to in my last comment, about guilt by association?
Clearly Rhology is being deceived and doesn’t know that a True Absolute Truth Warrior Christian must render everyone they disagree with as guilty by association. This is an Essential Christian teaching as well as Discernmentalism as the clear teachings of Ken Silva attest. Perhaps Rhology ought to read our Pure Teachings on Mark Driscoll first before reconciling with him. What happened to the heretic-bashing Rhology that we all know and love? Here Rhology condemns himself by a comment that he left on that Theopoetry heretic’s site:
Rich Mullins was right that we humans pull ’em out to suit our own desires, but the context in which he said it, ie that being born again is great but not all that we need to do to have eternal life, is heresy. If I’d known he’d said sthg like that before now, I’d never have bought any more of his music or attended his concerts or anythg (kinda like I intentionally avoid Phillips Craig and Dean, since they’re Oneness and thus heretics). Were I in charge at Wheaton (and had I the courage), I would’ve at that very moment stepped onstage, said “thank you, Rich,” proceeded to refute what he’d just said, never invited him back, and encouraged other seminaries/Christian schools to do the same.
Discernmentalists this is why we must stand with Defending.Contending. against Rhoblogy and sex-obsessed heretics like Mark Driscoll as our own illustrious Dr. Itodyaso has noted that Driscoll has yet to renounce all his Emerging/Emergent ties.