November 22, 2019
Discernmentalists recently questioned whether or not Kanye West has a new found saved status or not after it was discovered that he will attend Joel Osteen’s church.
Our Research Robot Monkeys uncovered even more sinister facts concerning Kanye West’s new found salvation:
No praying, no sermon, no word, just music!
In a recent interview with Jimmy Kimmel Live!, Kim explained that Sunday Service is “more of just a healing experience” than a religious one. “There’s no praying, there’s no sermon, no word, just music, and just a feeling — and it’s Christian,” she explained. So, it’s like a high-vibe spiritual Christian concert that’s welcoming of celebrities and other musicians, such as Katy Perry and Busy Philipps. [Emphasis added]
Radical obedience, NO REPENTANCE OF SIN
During one song, where singers declared that “nothing is too hard for God,” Kanye stopped and prayed to God, imploring the congregation, “all you ask is for radical obedience to You.” [Emphasis added]
We agree as we’re the Greatest most Smart send us your money Discernmentalists of all time! In fact in our esteemed wisdom we’ve already discernmentalized Kanye by osmosis before DTW. We must add that even others agree—we point you to our spiritual descendants:
A post slightly related to ours: https://babylonbee.com/news/joel-osteen-leads-kanye-west-to-top-of-lakewood-church-to-offer-him-all-the-kingdoms-of-the-earth-in-their-splendor?fbclid=IwAR0iGH5b58co4l6uWkQ9XVO2fQL513qNHKiutYLckLRcC6dWfC_fe1kvruo
August 10, 2010
Our faithful Research Robot Monkeys are ever scouring the world in our quest of rooting out the True Christians from the fakers and pretenders; the True Converts from the False Converts. This was why we were so shocked when thanks to our Research Robot Monkey Infiltrators we discovered that Fox News are so ungodly. Not only is Fox News ungodly, they are also full of fake and pretend Christians aka False Converts because they pretend to be bible-believing Conservatives while all the while secretly supporting the ungodly liberal agenda. Here for all the world our Research Robot Monkeys expose Fox News’ Hidden Liberal Agenda:
- they are way too ecumenical
- ecumenism = liberalism
- ecumenism = one world religion/one world government/new world order
- they mix True Bible-Believing Conservative Christian Believers with False Converts such as Mary and Pope-worshipping Romanists and non-Christians (Mormons) against the clear Bible teaching of the Doctrine of Separatism in 2 Corinthians 6:14-18
- by being ecumenical they plan to unleash an unholy hybrid of Calvinism (Absolute Biblical Truth) with Papism and Mormonism upon the world
- they are crybabies
- crying = effeminate
- effeminate = queerosexual
- queerosexual = liberal
- liberal = terrorist
But most importantly they broke the 11th Commandment—one of the holiest of all commandments which is: “Thou shall not cry with an unbeliever; it is an abomination.”
(Holy Ways Of The Master King James John MacArthur Bible: Wretched Edition).
July 19, 2010
Are you as horrified as us over the Obamanation of ObamaCare? Are you tired of pseudo-scientific advances in Medicine? Have we got the answer for you—science-free medicine activated only by biblical faith because secular medicine is an assault:
- an assault on the Bible
- an assault on the Absolute Truth
- an assault on our Faith
- an assault on traditional American values
- an assault on Freedom
- an assault on our right to be stupid practice Bible-Based Science
- and yes even an assault on our angry Sovereign God’s wrath and Law against sinners
Other reasons to get on board Science-Free Medicine today: Secular pseudo-scientists say that the microbes that attack our bodies are ever-evolving lifeforms which is why these evolutionary pseudo-scientists have to keep inventing new antibiotics. Isn’t that just evil? Can you say “placebo”? We Know this is just ignorance on the part of evilutionists—trying to educate people make up lies to disseminate prop up scientific truth their delusional fairy-tales. Besides would you want pseudo-scientists sticking strange needles and/or pills in you? Who knows they could be giving you the Mark of the Beast especially if they’re Roman Catholic doctors. We Know that microbes, germs, bacteria, viruses and diseases are all caused by sin and they don’t evolve at all as evolution never happens just as the Bible says. Just as God literally created the universe and everything within it unchangeable and as absolute static forms in 6 literal 24-hour days—God allows microbes, germs, bacteria, viruses and diseases to remain unchanged in order to punish vile, wretched and wicked sinners whose destruction we should all rejoice in.
Another reason to back our Science-Free Medicine is that secular medical science denies Absolute Biblical Truths already succinctly illustrated above. After infiltrating a pseudo-scientific lab full of evolutionary Emergent doctors, Our Research Robot Monkeys also noted the following:
Secular Medical Science and secular health care are so bankrupt that many are abandoning them to embrace New Age Mystical healing gooble-de-gook. Secular and New Age medicine is the new savior. Problems that were once blamed on individual sin and familial genetic sin (Original Sin) are now charged to chemical imbalances and disorders. Yesterday’s medical science and today’s medical science share the same fatal errors–they reject the total depravity of man due to sin; they treat the symptoms instead of the heart; and they aim for change that is not true sanctification. In spite of obvious failure, the notion prevails within the church that secular medicine and secular health care are more effective agents of change–particularly in dealing with the most difficult cases of illnesses–than the Holy Spirit who sanctifies. But can secular medicine and secular health care possibly accomplish something the Holy Spirit cannot? Can an earthly doctor achieve more than a heavenly Comforter? Is medicine more helpful than sanctification? Of course not.
Last but not least, the symbol of Secular Medicine is not only Pagan in orgin but also Occultic and Gnostic in origin and as We all Know Gnosticism is a heresy. If that isn’t enough to reject the evil and sinister cabals of Secular Medical Pseudo-Science whole scale then you must be a servant of Satan—so remember Science-Free Medicine for all your Bible-Based Faith-Healing needs where our motto is: “we’ll lock you in a closet and scream and yell Bible verses at you until you repent of your sins and get saved/cured/healed from your illnesses or else.” Warning if our Bible-Based Healing methods don’t work for you then it means you lack TRUE Biblical Faith and most likely weren’t meant to be healed to begin with.
April 17, 2010
We Know that Pokémon and Roleplaying Games in general are evil tools of Satan and the Anti-Christ. We Know that Dungeons & Dragons is a gateway to the Occult and Socialism but we are very wary of Card-Based Roleplaying Games as well as they can lead to gambling. Pokémon is one of the worst as not only does this franchise promote the Occult and gambling but also evilution. This is why in order to be relevant to those seduced by these tools of Satan (but not relevant in an Emergent way), we’ve teamed up with David Tate to bring you a quality Discernmentalist card game for True Christians (Conservatives)—introducing Discernmentalist Power Cards.
A rare Discernmentalist Power Card in Japanese explaining the history of God’s Only Inerrant Party to the Japanese and why we must take back Japan for Jesus. We don’t need any more Japanese cartoons corrupting our children to the Occult though we admire their Biblically correct Capitalistic ways. Notice the inversion of a GOIP symbol on the top left corner of the card—it is on there to subconsciously reinforce our Bible-Based Theocratic message.
Discernmentalist Power Cards is a Card-Based Roleplaying type game which offers Absolutely True Factual Discernmentalist information to players. Discernmentalist facts that players will learn:
- The Absolute Truth aka our Infallible and Inerrant interpretation of the Holy Bible—the only True Word Of God
- Capitalist values such as legalized gambling of other people’s futures away
- the American Gospel
- Pure Doctrines
- True Doctrine is only hundreds of years old instead of thousands
- The Gospel (Good News) is Dortian Supralapsarian Calvinism not God’s Revelation of God’s Self in Jesus Christ
- Capitalism is Biblical
- Bible-Based figures such as Calvin and Beza
- Discernmentalist history such as the Crusades; the Inquisition; the Protestant Reformation especially the superiority and supremacy of Calvin and Calvinism; why Theocracy is Biblically correct; the burning of Servetus; the Salem Witch Trials; the rise of Fundamentalism, the Religious Right and the GOIP; etc.
- Puritanism and Discernmentalism
- And much, much more…
Discernmentalist Power Cards: You gotta collect them all!