Stating “we are Bible believing” makes it true!

June 3, 2019

 

TAS_semcollagebb2

Mark our word. When a ministry says “we are bible believing,” you can believe that they are bible believing. No need to test the waters…especially if they vent against other ministries in the guise of bible ministry. As a matter of fact, if you complain a lot against other ministries it is likely that this ministry is MUCH MORE HOLY and RIGHTEOUS than other ministries who SHOULD fall in line and get with the program. Simply put, if you say “we are bible believing” it gives you license to attack other ministries with unfounded license.

That is why Take A Stand Ministries is just a simple bible believing ministry who has the entire bible untangled and figured out. If you want bible believing certainty, and all that non-sensical post-modern, new-age liberal mystery and wonder jettisoned from scripture….this is a ministry that you should embrace.

ODMafia approved—-Truthslayer endorsed


Eric…Heresy Free!

May 19, 2019

thank goodness

The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed this prayer:

‘I thank you, God, that I am not a HERETIC like everyone else. For my theological doctrines are pure (American & conservative), I pray 3 times a day (unlike my Muslim enemies who pray excessively at 5 prayers), I refuse to address social justice (because that sounds too my like socialism), I attack anyone who critiques capitalism (because consumerism, accumulation & exploitation) has nothing to do with the good news (and unAmerican). I also criticize anyone who speaks against militarism by calling them commies and liberals…because I am thankful to be alone in holding up the absolute biblical truth.

Finally ….I thank-you that I go from church to church to speak against other believers & calling them false teachers, heretics and apostates.”

Hunting down heretics and spotting heresies in our many enemies for your protection,

Truthslayer out (as in outing heretics)!


Eric Barger….admits the ABSOLUTE TRUTH

April 26, 2019

Cant Sign

It is heart warming to know that Eric Barger in complete Take A Stand humility has come out………

-Not out of the closet ……. but rather to explain to the world that he can’t sign a letter (literally – because Eric stresses the importances of LITERALNESS.)

What is Eric Barger admitting????

…he has confessed to what EVERYONE already knows….he can’t read or write.

Bravo Eric! This is your first step in potentially getting aid for remedial writing.

Well done! (besides human writing is entirely MAN CENTRED – you have nothing to worry about) (-;

Remember- Truthslayer has your back!

 


Russian radios found at Emerging Church house meeting

January 11, 2010

Our research robot monkeys using Eric Barger’s Take A Stand “Super Radio,” found Red Russian radios at an emergent church house meeting!!! After the apostate church meeting tucked their false bibles away, snuffed out their candles, hid their couches and ceased all chants….there was ONE THING they forgot to hide….their russian radios!!!!!

We all know that IF you own a russian radio you are a communist. We also know that communists are against capitalism which is anti-biblical. We also know that communists share and believe in the evils of socialized medicine and may have secret ties to Canada.

Thank-goodness our robot monkeys found the sinister radios…we will dispose of them in an exorcism!

Truthslayer

PS Our research robot monkeys wore ear plugs just in case they were withing ear-shot of an evil emergent church worship service.


Dan Kimball’s Hair Leaves Emerging Church!

January 21, 2009

 

dan-kimballs-hair2

THE Editors note: We would like to introduce a new writer here at the Online Discernmentalist Mafia. His name is TruthSlayer and I am amazed at his discernmentalist skills.

Several apologetic discernment ministries have reported a major fracture in the Emerging Church movement. Thankfully, SoL, Take A Stand Ministries, Herescope and Apprising Ministries have all reported a huge rift that occurred last Tuesday morning within the Emerging church movement. Dan Kimball a major proponent of Emerging noted that his hair is succeeded from his head. He would not comment any further

Another unnamed ministry was able to interview Kimball’s hair. Reports so far note that his hair had moved onto a more bible-hair based ministry. Kimball’s hair was reported to have had enough of the “greased back” programs and would like to let his hair down. The unnamed ministry learned that Dan Kimball was in fact not bible based…as a matter of fact his hair was quoted as saying “Dan did not even have a house built out of bibles….instead it was built out of secular brick and mortar” Hair went on to say “I was so uncomfortable in a non-bible based home.” As a matter of fact other shocking elements to the story persist that Dan only had 6 bibles in his household, and he had a subscription to Christianity Today…and applying our Discernmentalist Tools we know that Today is shockingly close to the word GAY.


%d bloggers like this: