Anatomy of a discernmentalist brain!

February 17, 2010

We discernmentalists excel in excellence. We believe that we are the elite of the elite when it comes to exposing the devils theological perversions and its up to us to find false teaching where it’s NOT and to DESTROY reputations just in case. We need to remind everyone that we demand 100% pure doctrines…and we set the standard of what that is. Remember, what is important is the perfection of doctrine….who cares about character.

This is why all online discernmentalists underwent brain scans in 2009 and found that strange things happen inside our heads. We believe that this ‘oddity of sorts’ helps us to discernmentalize at a level unprecedented from other regular ministries.

Here are some findings…

1) Logic strongly biased towards emotional response, and often no logic whatsoever found in brain

2) Responds positively to words like “Bible based…” “capitalism,” “republican”, “absolute truth” and “Ronald Reagan”

3) Suspicious of any ideas not found in books by CH Spurgeon or John MacArthur.

4) Responds well to conservative radio talk shows. Believes conservative = bible based Christianity.

5) Gets heavily disorientated with poetry, songs or metaphors

6) Glazes over at the sight of Brian McLaren, NT Wright, Rick Warren, resulting in tremors and drooling.

7) Believes that true research is based on presumption, negative critiques and lack of source material.

8) We are always thankful that we are NOT like those sinners.

We at the ODMafia are happy that such brain scans tool place to prove that we are a) the elect b) true bible believers c) capable of discerning all that needs to be discerned.

Dr. Truthslayer

PS Remember, its not enough to follow Jesus, we need to prove doctrines worthy by FEARING everything.

%d bloggers like this: