Online Discernmentalist Ministries (ODM) Has Important Information For All Believers!

June 10, 2019

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ODMs having a storehouse of valuable apologetics information states “There is no hint in the New Testament that the Apostles considered themselves agents of change in society.” A bystander who apparently never went to church but who did have some ‘off statements ‘suggested “Wasn’t your apostle Paul and that guy uhhhm James were they not instructed to take care of the poor, widows and orphans? …Didn’t Jesus change society by his healings and so on….I don’t know you guys are supposed to be experts” The Online Discernmentalist expediently moved in to shut this non-sense. An anonymous apologetic researcher noted that none of the Discernmentalists should have to put up with the unbiblical practice of taking care of the poor or even contemplating the fullness of the times. Besides fullness of times strikes us as far too mystical.

We at the Online Discernmentalist Mafia stand for truth, but not questions.

—-This PSA brought to you by Dr. Truthslayer.


Beating a Dead Horse: a Discernmentalist’s Favorite Pastime!

June 5, 2019

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Dear ODMafia,

Why do you discuss the same topics over and over again.

Signed,

Slightly Annoyed

Dear Slightly Annoyed,

In case you are new to the world of Discernmentalism—we have to warn you of the same threats over and over again as this is the Truth War and beating a dead horse is our favorite pastime. Now we all  know that Postmodernism has already died and that we are in the Post-Postmodern Age now but as Discernmentalists we constantly live in the past. We must ever be slapping the church by beating dead horses as there are many Trojan Horses slipping through our gates.

And we do love beating our dead horses into people over and over and over again and again and again see:

  1. Here: When Christians call on unbelievers to conform to a certain “religious standard” without faith and repentance in Jesus Christ, we run the risk of leading them to believe that becoming a Christian means simply living a good life. No matter how many pieces of legislation become law and no matter the number of laws to which the unsaved conform, they are still lost in sin [so] when the church takes on the role of morality police…we are only addressing the symptoms of their unsaved condition. How can the unregenerate be anything less than they are? Their worldviews are the foundation of their values, and their values are the foundation of their conduct. Until their unbiblical worldviews are transformed into a biblical view through faith and repentance in Jesus Christ, they are slaves to sin.[Tragically], moralism is just as dangerous and deadly as outright liberalism. As John MacArthur has said, “It makes no difference if an unsaved person is for or against abortion, [is] a political liberal or a conservative, a prostitute or a police officer; he will spend eternity apart from God unless he repents and believes the gospel.”—Excerpts from Religious Trojan Horse by Brannon Howse.
  2. And here: As a long-time observer and critic of the EC, informed people are deeply grieved because those in the emerging movement—as with classic liberalism—are moving beyond mere syncretistic pluralism and embracing universalism; and furthermore, under the circus big tent this counterfeit version of the Christian faith has grown into a neo-liberal cult, complete with it’s denial of cardinal doctirnes of the Christian faith, it’s own leaders, and it’s own postmodern progressive/liberal theology. I’ll warn you again, you embrace these false prophets at your own peril.— CROOKED TALK FROM THE EMERGING CHURCH TROJAN HORSE
  3. Here again again: YWAM a religious trojan horse
  4. And again here again: The “Trojan horse” that has been accepted within every part of the church is a deception called contemplative prayer. Some call it meditation, soaking, or centering prayer. It is veiled in Christian lingo and justified by Scripture (used out of context or without correct definitions of words), but is full of occult techniques from eastern religions and witchcraft. The teachers of this perverted form of prayer encourage things like repeating words or phrases over and over for long periods of time in meditative prayer, visualizing images of Jesus, the Father, God’s throne, healings or light within themselves and many other occult practices. It can also be done by focusing on the rhythm of one’s breathing or an object like an icon or the flame of a candle. The goal is to quiet the mind through a passive eastern-style meditation as a way to connect with the “divine presence” and generate mystical/prophetic experiences like “visiting the third heaven” at will. Sadly, the primary perpetrators of spreading these demonic doctrines are many well-known and respected Evangelical, Charismatic, and Catholic ministers. Many of them are also operating in spirits of divination while claiming their abilities are from the Holy Spirit. Some of them are as sincere as the fireman who ran through the fire to rescue the baby, but they are terribly deceived. Others know exactly what they are doing because they are agents of Satan who are purposely trying to undermine and destroy good churches and true Christians. But regardless of the motives, these occult practices are opening people up to dangerous spirits and beliefs.

Personally we still believe the axis of liberal Emerging/Emergent socialist justice-seeking Purpose-driven seeker-sensitive semi-Pelagian Canadian un-American gay Roman Catholic feminist Muslim Arminian universalist democrat commie pansies who believe God is love and that His love wins are this Trojan Horse responsible for all that is evil in the world and the church (but never our side).

Signed,

Don Jobson

P.S. Have you tried our mothballs yet? The smell of them should help cure your annoyance until you get use to Our Brand.


Farewell again @John Piper!

May 22, 2019

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The push of the social gospel is now reaching even those who have been staunch supporters of the work we do here at ODMafia. Our beloved and revered under leader of reformed theology, John Piper, has slipped the tracks. Abandoning the true faith for the man pleasing Gospel of Shane Claiborne. In the following video you will hear Pastor Piper declare to the “Young, Restless, and Reformed” crowd to not waste their lives on retirement. Instead he admonishes them to consider; clean water, homeless people, and the needy:

I too like my fellow Discernmentalists am becoming so tired of hearing people in the church talking about being on the social justice committee. There is a difference between justice and social justice! For one Social Justice is cultural marxism and every church needs to get on the same page and disavow themselves from using this leftest marxist terminology and simply call their churches work justice, plain and simple! Secondly Social justice sounds too like Satan’s doctrine: socialism…and you don’t clink glass with the devils cohort’s or entertain the devils terminology even when it sound all warm and fuzzy. “Idiots”!!!!

Are any of our Doctrines and fellow Reformed types safe from being perverted by the heretical hordes? Finally my faithful Truth Warriors I leave you this quote from our Beloved Over-leader John MacArthur (PBUH):

aspects of true justice are conspicuously missing from the recent evangelical dialogue touting “social justice.” Instead, what we hear is an echo of the same accusatory rhetoric and political slogans being shouted by secular social justice warriors. That fact ought to awaken the Berean urge in every Christian.


Reward CEOs!

May 21, 2019

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Counting our money like a Boss!

THE REASON WE LOVE CEOS

screen-shot-2010-05-30-at-7-07-16-pmWe discernmentalists approve of the capitalist ways because what is capitalist is biblical, and what is biblical is capitalist. Therefore, we approve of cost cutting measures that undercut the lowest paid workers to sustain those at the top. Moreover, this is to ensure that CEOs, Publishers, VPs, and Vice Presidents can continue making 10-100 times more money than the lowest paid ones.

Finally, we also encourage large corporations to outsource jobs. We concur that (like you) we don’t care about sustaining local economies. We only care about the bottom line and sustaining those who are in positions of power and privilege. It does not matter that an unemployed worker may now be a drain on the local economy due to his newly found lack of buying power. We are only glad that that VP etc can buy her new Porsche and still afford that nice cottage in the summer.

Keep the status quo!

Truthslayer CEO


Pulpit calls Truce with ODMafia!

May 15, 2019

Breaking: While you were sleeping peacefully last night safe and protected by our Sound Doctrines in your warm beds—late last night ODMafia spies broke into Planned Pulpithood’s bunker and forced them to agree to a ceasefire of firing their missives at us and agree to ODMafia’s peace terms. However Pulpit promises to let the ODMafia continue subtly firing off our weapons of Massive destruction at them since the ODMafia helped crack the secret code of one of Pulpit’s enemies because our discernmentalism is of higher quality than anyone else’s.

Dr. Truthslayer utilizing Eric Barger’s Smocking Gun Technology on our Research Robot Monkeys once again has totally demolished Servus Christi with only one screencap rather than two by slicing letters and rearranging them until we were apprised of their secret meaning:

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That’s how much better at discernmentalism we are than anyone else—we exposed Servus Christi’s ties to the heretical Servetus before anyone else. On a related note we have reason to suspect Servus Christi as the one who made up the sinisterly globalist quasi-universalist sinfully-ecumenical quote exposing them in one of our latest Massives.


An Exciting Announcement!

May 13, 2019

TSM Bar

“The Bible has a wax nose; you can twist it whichever way you want!” —Martin Luther

Finally a Candy Bar with Discernmentalizing bite! Packed with Truth-bending powers and waxy bits. Literally melts in your mouth to aid in Scripture-twisting. Absolute guarantee for Bible beaters. Gives more energy to help you with your Stand. Remember Take A Stand Bible Bar available now at fine Bible-believing resellers everywhere…buy it now. Act now for the extra added value of Dark sunglasses and wax nose included free with purchase. And remember its Truthslayer Endorsed!


Extra! Extra! Smocking Gun: Pulpit & Pen/Planned Parenthood One and the Same! More Evidence…

May 13, 2019

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It took longer to recharge our Research Robot Monkeys than we thought as we had to recalibrate Eric Barger’s Smocking Gun machine for them to use. Afterwards they stumbled upon this quote attributed to our boogie man George Soros on a highly questionable site run by QAnon members which means it must be authentic and not a manufactured quote that we made up  by ourselves. This proves the smocking guns against Party & Propaganda aka Bulpit and Pen now Planned Pulpithood (PP) that Eric Barger’s machine found since George Soros (Nazi man in picture in his 20s when Soros was around 9 years old at the outbreak of WWII) funds abortionists and crisis actors.

In fact Planned Pulpithood themselves have stated that  George Soros (Nazi man in picture in his 20s when Soros was around 9 years old at the outbreak of WWII) who funds abortionists and crisis actors also funds Evangelicalism and SBC groups of which Planned Pulpithood are a part of. Quote:

Pulpit & Pen (aka now as Planned Pulpithood) has been exposing George Soros’ funding and partnership of Russell Moore and James Riady’s funding of Ligon Duncan. In reality, both Soros and Riady have been funding numerous groups and speakers who are represented at the The Gospel Coalition, Together for the Gospel, and the Ethics and Religious Liberty Commission. However, much of their funding is “Dark Money” contributions that come not directly from Soros or Riady, but from a series of “foundations” (sometimes the cash goes through nearly a dozen foundations before it reaches institutions like SBTS, TGC, the ERLC or RTS).

We also now have reason to suspect that George Soros (Globalist Billionaire) funded the people that inserted liberal unbiblical Bible verses such as these into our Pure Bibles:

  • “Learn to do good; seek justice, correct oppression; bring justice to the fatherless, and please the widow’s cause,” (Isaiah 1:17).
  • “He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?” (Micah 6:8).
  • “But woe to you Pharisees! For you tithe mint and rue and every herb, and neglect justice and the love of God. These you ought to have done, without neglecting the others,” (Luke 11:42).

Is their anything Planned Pulpithood via George Soros (Globalist Billionaire)’s funding will do to destroy the purity of Doctrines? I’m sure also that George Soros (Globalist Billionaire) funded the internet to fabricate pro-Social Justice quotes by Luther and Calvin as well.

“After the devil there is no greater human enemy on earth than a miser and usurer, for he desires to be above everyone. Turks, soldiers, and tyrants are also evil men, yet they must allow the people to live . . . ; indeed, they must now and then be somewhat merciful. But a usurer and miser—belly desires that the entire world be ruined in order that there be hunger, thirst, misery, and need so that he can have everything and so that everyone must depend upon him and be his slave as if he were God.” “Daily the poor are defrauded. New burdens and high prices are imposed. Everyone misuses the market in his own willful, conceited, arrogant way, as if it were his right and privilege to sell his goods as dearly as he pleases without a word of criticism.” “He who has nothing to live should be aided. If he deceives us, what then? He must be aided again.” —Luther on Usury

Thankfully there’s no real dirt on the Billionaires that fund our pet causes.


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