I agree with Don Jobson that there indeed was a demon-summoning at the Super Bowl as:
“I myself have been a forty-five year student of the satanically inspired, centuries-old conspiracy to use government, education, and media to destroy every vestige of Christianity within our society and establish a new world order. Having read at least fifty books on the Illuminati, I am convinced that it exists and can be blamed for many of man’s inhumane actions against his fellow man during the past two hundred years.”
It has come to my attention that several mockers have attacked the purity of our Pope of our Truth Wars John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) with libel and slander to them I say repent. Don’t they know that bearing false witness is a sin and that the only way for a Christian to settle a disagreement with an offending person is to contact them in person with 2 or 3 witnesses? The Bible is CLEAR about this.
Where was I—oh yeah I was adding to Don Jobson’s excellent discernmentalization about a most offensive person—Taylor Swift’s friend Ice Spice and her sinisterly satanic and New Agey hand signs. What’s next…pagan mysticism…pornographic divination. Blasphemy! I hope this clears up what’s really going on.
Discernmentalists we’re under attack as always—this time by Taylor Swift who was observed through osmosis at that worldly and sinisterly satanic Super Bowl by our Research Robot Monkeys. Taylor was caught red-handed chugging down beer. Sheer Blasphemy and this is who is supposed to be a role model for our youth. For shame—America’s youth is doomed! My affectionate Uncle and mentor the late Ken Silva who was mentored through listening to Walter Martin’s cassette tapes would be horrified as well as the Pope of our Truth War John MacArthur (P.B.U.H). Nay! I say they need to be more like Martin Luther* and less like beer-drinking Taylor Swift and her potty-mouthed boyfriend.
Observe all the doctrines of grace I taught you—Sola Scriptura,
Dr. I. Todyaso, Pastor-Teacher to the True Remnant
*- “You should rightly be called lawyers for asses.”—From On the Councils and the Church, pg. 158 of Luther’s Works, Vol. 41
Thumbs Down: he’s still one of THEM (the satanic socialist Woke communist NWO fascist GLOBALIST PEDO Cabal of elites aka the Jews) as all we Qborons believed in collectivist unified droves yesterday—after all he loves avocado toast
In a poll of epic proportions, Discernmentalists declare John MacArthur (PBUH) more like Jesus than the Pope. No wonder a Woke mob is coming after him (PBUH). It mustn’t be because he (PBUH) covered up and fostered an environment that enabled child abuse in his church (PBUT). Oh no, it must be because they can’t use scripture to refute his doctrines (PBUT) on women pastors and homosexuality. I went through their follows and likes. Full of women “teachers” and LGBT groups. Same playbook as the Pharisees used to crucify and silence Jesus Christ.
Chastity Beltz (Pictured) protesting natural bodily functions
Church Busybody and all-around Know Nothing; Chastity Beltz, founder of the Right to Insemination is at it again—this time campaigning for further restrictions of rights pertaining to the natural functions of the human body. Her list of demands includes:
Making female menstruation illegal (unfertilized eggs is genocide—young ladies are killing innocent unborn life) the Bible gives legal precedence to imprisoning menstruators Lev. 15: 19
Making nocturnal emissions illegal (thou shall not spill thy seed— every day millions of unborn lives are murdered each night when young men have wet dreams)
Making it illegal for not just premarital couples but the old and infertile couples as well to have sex (sex is for procreation only not pleasure—the Bible is CLEAR on this: Gen. 1: 28) Infertile couples are murdering innocent unborn lives by not being fertile and post-menopausal women are violating the CLEAR TEACHING of the WHOLE BIBLE: Be fruitful and multiply as already stated sex is for procreators, not self-pleasurers
Time will tell if any of her demands are met by the Theocratic Court of America.
Amos Thugger arrested on charges of causing Covid related abortions
Ameicanstan (near future)- a group of pro-life anti-mask/anti-vaxxers including Amos Thugger were arrested today on charges of being accessories to the crime of involuntary abortion aka miscarriage. The police explain that this was necessary because the current understanding of post-Roe rulings is that bodily autonomy is no longer legally protected so therefore refusal to wear a mask and/or get vaxxed during a pandemic is now a crime. Even more so now that refusing to wear a mask and/or get vaxxed has been deemed being abortifacient vis-a-vis causing the spread of Covid-19 thereby causing involuntary abortions aka miscarriage. Under post-Roe readings of the law, miscarriages have now been deemed illegal to save the Justice System the hassle of determining whether an abortion is involuntary (miscarriage) or voluntary—and anything or anyone that causes an involuntary abortion (miscarriage) is deemed the instrument of the crime/accessory to the crime. Police were able to trace a direct link to “maskless” and “unvaccinated” Amos causing a 10 yr old girl (his niece) that he raped to miscarry after contracting Covid-19 using medical records. Amos is expected to serve a 5 yr prison sentence followed by community service—his 10 yr. old niece is now on Death Row on the charge of murder.
Russia isn’t a threat—it’s the Chinese. It’s always the Chinese. The Chinese gave me a bad fortune in my fortune cookie. The Chinese gave me an extra egg roll in my order. The Chinese helped me with my homework. The Chinese got the grease stains off my coat and tie. The Chinese bred my dog. The Chinese clogged my toilet. The Chinese stole my lunch at work. The Chinese didn’t return my bicycle. The Chinese were polite and quiet in the library. The Chinese got a promotion before me. The Chinese played the violin immaculately at my child’s recital and got first prize while my child came in last.
When we just read that—we were shocked and mortified beyond belief… how can someone who has so much theological knowledge take a stand against the Bible? You catch that he (PBUH) said: “all religions of the world are satanic” which includes the Calvinist religion* in the word “all.” How could the Pope of the Truth War (PBUH) have fallen like that? Doesn’t he (PBUH) know that the Calvinist religion and not Jesus is the Gospel? For shame!
Calvinism John Calvin Background Christianity St. Augustine The Reformation Five Solas Synod of Dort Distinctives Five Points (TULIP) Covenant Theology Regulative principle Documents Calvin’s Institutes Confessions of faith Geneva Bible Influences Theodore Beza John Knox Huldrych Zwingli Jonathan Edwards Princeton theologians Churches Reformed Presbyterian Co…
Every time Moore publishes something I’m glad the SBC fired him. He’s right where he should be among the bitter evangelical left like CT that can’t forgive the 90% of evangelicals who reject his socialism.
Moore will become more bitter as he realizes that the evangelical left represented by CT, The Gospel Coalition and David French are less than 10% of evangelicals and his audience is a puny fraction of the SBC. The only people who care about his jeremiads are those who hate Christians, like the Atlantic. Moore justifies their hatred.
—Roger “My capitalism is God” McKinney
Silly me and here I thought the evangelical left were folks like Jim Wallis and Sojourners. And now I learn that no, the evangelical left includes everyone to the left of Hagee or Jeffries or Copeland. And we know they are Leftists because: …they go to leftwing, Christian hostile outlets like MSNBC, CNN, Washington Post, etc, regularly. French writes for the Atlantic sadly enough! Does it make more sense that they are sincerely seeking to correct wayward Christians with the purpose of bringing them back into the fold or are there ulterior motives for going to these outlets with their ‘jeremiads’ which seems only to reinforce what the viewers of those outlets want to hear- anti Christian rhetoric.
I may disagree slightly that I think there still remains a select few at CT, TGC that haven’t completely capitulated to the spirit of the age, but I think their time there is probably quickly coming to an end. And when that happens then I think they will have lost all credibility, but until that happens I hold out hope. It makes me wonder if French or Moore get paid to appear on anti-Christian media?
Thankfully our great Man of God (who defied Covid protocols and let the virus spread because pro-life is pro-love)—the Pope of all Truth John MacArthur (PBUH) would never appear on any leftwing, Christian outlet like MSNBC, CNN, Washington Post, etc, regularly.*
Standing right with the right-wing of Christian friendly outlets,
Dial 911 an Inside Job top Discernmentalists say. Our Research Robot Monkeys have discerned that most 911 calls happen inside a building. 1-2 do the math….boogaloo. Conspiracy confirmed. It was observed that these calls sometimes contain strange behaviors…proof of something sinister going on. Boom conspiracy reconfirmed by confirming it without any proof whatsoever.
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Dude! This is a satire site!
Before you get all bent out of shape, please realize this is a satire site spoofing the so-called "discernment ministries" who deem themselves more worthy of Grace than the rest of us. So read and have fun! BTW, we are not against "good" discernment ministries that do actual real research and extend grace to others, only the bad ones.
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