Slice of Laodicea Fashion Files – I.Toldyaso is all the rage!

SoL is becoming so keen and so biblical that they are now committed to discerning fashion files and determining what is and is not biblically fashionable as related to the absolute truth of the Bible…..Because you are not worthy of God’s grace if you do not wear approved SoL clothing. It appears that Itoldyaso has been approved as the NEW FASHIONISTA of both Europe and North America.

Itoldyaso is all the rage! 

He is cool.

He is hip.

He is biblically fashionable.

Embrace the UBER FASHIONS folks….don’t be LEFT BEHIND!

Emerging Church Buzzwords Detected by ODMAFIA!

Pastor Scott deliberately says “Certainly the fact that many people resonate so deeply with the emerging conversation ought to cause all believers to pause and reflect on the reasons why the EC has sparked such interest (beyond simplistically sighting “deception” as the cause).”

Here are our key Emerging Church buzzwords of suspicion:

1) Resonate. Only Emerging Apostates resonate. Real bible Christians simply read their bibles.

2) Reflect. Only Emerging Apostates reflect. Real bible Christians don’t reflect anything….they just read their bibles.

So the real deception Pastor Scott is your sinister BUZZWORDS that resonate and reflect!

Pastor Scott deliberately says “Certainly the fact that many people resonate so deeply with the emerging conversation ought to cause all believers to pause and reflect on the reasons why the EC has sparked such interest (beyond simplistically sighting “deception” as the cause).”

Here are our key Emerging Church buzzwords of suspicion:

1) Resonate. Only Emerging Apostates resonate. Real bible Christians simply read their bibles.

2) Reflect. Only Emerging Apostates reflect or think. Real credible bible-believing Christians don’t reflect anything….we just read their bibles.

In addition Pastor Scott attempts to turn OUR favourite word “deception” around and use it on us and assume it is merely simplistic to do so. Who’s the simplisticans now Pastor Scott? Eh? Huh? Our expert discernmentalism cannot be fooled.

So the real deception Pastor Scott is your sinister BUZZWORDS that resonate and reflect! Hmmmmph. We are appalled. We REFUSE to either resonate or reflect. We will not succumb to your superior intellect, balanced outlines or thoughtful articles.

We like our blind unquestioned Reformed traditionalism wrapped in discernmentalism.

Apprising Sites Post Evangelical Liberal Rebellion Pervesions

The ODMafia research robot monkey’s have this in from Apprising Ministries “It is a sad fact that a perverted, postevangelical, form of Protestant evangelicalism has taken over most of the leadership positions within the apostatizing American Christian Church. Add to this the further entrenchment of the postliberal Emergence rebellion against Sola Scriptura—even in mainstream evangelicalism—and there has now been a largely successful supplanting of the awesome and majestic one true and living LORD God Almighty.”

 

How does Apprising come to the conclusion that MOST Protestant evangelical leaders are:

 

a)     post evangelicals

b)     perverted

c)      apostate

d)     post liberal

e)     emergence and rebellious (or both)

f)      against sola scriptura?

On good word we heard from a friend of a friend that Apprising borrowed Eric Barger’s Bible Based Satellite System (ie BS) to test his hypothesis. Ken and his researchers must spend every waking minute of every day attending churches across America.

You must be tired… 

CRN under attack by watchdog of watchdogs!

So called and self appointed watchdog of watchdogs (who are real discernmentalist!) is persecuting the ODM ministries on their high integrity! How dare Ron Hodgman even ask this question!:

Do not Spiritual Discernment persons check the facts reported by other Spiritual Discernment persons before spreading it on the Internet?

Ron Hodgman, what do you really think? Do you think that we actually have time to check facts? How can we keep the heat on those heretics if we have to also check facts. We mostly depend on others facts and just assume (by discernmentalism) that they checked their facts! The ODM circle is a tight bunch. If one says it is so, you should just take it as Gospel Truth! Also, in the official ODM Creed we are exempt from Matthew 18: 15-18!:

Matthew 18:15.  “If your brother sins against you,  go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. 16.  But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that `every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ 17.  If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.

Now you might ask how the ODM’s are exempt, but you should not! Since you still might, let me give you a clue how we read this passage. You might gain some REAL BIBLICAL INSIGHT in how we think!

I will take it verse by verse:

15. “If your brother sins against you,  go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over.

Surely you can see this. These are not our brothers! They are still all unregenerate sinners! They have faults we must point out publicly so that true brothers do not get conned into following them! Though if someone is a true believer in OUR DOCTRINES, they would never fall into error as they will just read and trust this and other great ODM sites.

16. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that `every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’

Though what I stated about verse 15 should be enough I bet you will not see it that way as you are most likely unsaved. So in verse 16 you should notice that there are more than two or three witnesses against those ODM’s write about! In fact there are many of us who bear witness against fake believers! So that should be enough to prove we are right!

17:  If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.

Now here is the main verse we focus on. These heretics do not listen to us and unfortunately those of us who have gone to personally talk to these heretics have been persuaded that they may be wrong! Can’t you see that the GREAT SATAN is really hurting the REAL CHURCH? We simply assume all of the people we call heretics are not saved and treat them like the Jews treated tax collectors and pagans. Now if you knew how to read the bible you would know that Jews hated the tax collectors and pagans so we do as Jesus commands… we hate those we deem heretics as Jesus commands us to do! Yes, if you had a bible and could read it with OUR understanding you might see it OUR way and how OUR DOCTRINE dictates us to understand this passage.

Any real Biblical scholar would agree with us, if they do not then they are not REAL BIBLICAL scholars!

So stop persecuting us and the other ODM’s or God might smite you! As the bible teaches, “God shall smite thee” (Acts23:3)

Now I will not even pray for your lost soul as it would be a waste of my time to pray for such as you!

I. Todayso

Emerging Church Defenders So Riled Up They Leave No Comments

Eric Barger, valiant defender of truth, justice and the American Gospelism notes “After reading so many nasty comments on YouTube concerning my video clip exposing the Emergent heresy which is at work inside the Church of the Nazarene, I have decided to weigh in once more and address the Emergent defenders.” Click here

It ALL Comes Down to the Word of God! says Eric Barger. Thats right Eric…integrity, honesty, citing information correctly.

The ODmafia, being huge fans of Eric Barger’s Take A Stand Ministry fears the Emerging Church retaliation of nasty comments (boy they are mean and scathing). So we did a search on you tube and did a count of the comments.

No Comments whatsoever.

2 Comments…so far nothing nasty :

17 comments…now it gets ‘nasty’

Here is a snippet of one comment “Dude, I was at this same conference in Nampa. It’s hard for me to believe we were at the same event, because I didn’t come away with anything close to what you got out of it. “

So was Eric at the same conference?

the commenter gets nastier “ I know many of these theology professors you disparage personally, and they are some of the most Christ-like men and women I know. You should really talk to them directly, rather than some “ex-elder”, whatever that means.“

another comment “How can anything said about John Wesley be “heresy?“”

another suggests “Yeah, I was there too, this video is full of misinformation and quotes taken out of context.”

Eric is a fine discernmentalist…but to be sure he is under relentless attacks…likely more than 10 observations that we categorize as mean, nasty, abrasive retaliations. We MUST come to his aid! Most would be crushed and bruised by the above quotes.

We TOO support misinformation, out of context statements as the best way to attack our adversaries. We however side with Eric that NO ONE should critique a critiquer….you see WE ODMS are above criticism.

A horrible threat has come to attack one of our own!

 

A horrible threat has come to attack one of our own!

 

I received a very excited email that one of our own was caught…. Lying! Now I will address this issue but to appear being fair and to show my incredible discernementalist skill I will address this post by Pastor Scott who is undermining his own denomination by attacking Eric Barger who is a truly gifted and talented discernementalist. Here is a portion of the ridiculous claims of this so-called Pastor Scott!

 

So called Pastor Scott states:

Secondly, in addressing the concerns made about the EC, I’m going to primarily pay attention to folk like those I have already mentioned and I’m going to virtually ignore most of the “concerned” websites out there. I am doing that on purpose because I have to admit that I absolutely cannot stand the tactics I have seen employed by many of the “Concerned Nazarene” anti-emergent bloggers and self-publishers. I have a number of complaints against them, but my primary complaint is the number of time quotes are taken out of context. This is a frequent practice and very frustrating. Let me give you one example of hundreds. In a highly viewed video on YouTube EC critic Eric Barger quotes writer Brian McLaren as stating that, “The challenge today is not whether you are right but whether you are good.” Barger quotes this sentence in a video taped presentation as evidence that the EC is abandoning truth. The actual quote in context can be found on page 61 of McLaren’s book A New Kind of Christian. Here is the actual quote in context:

“…Neo plunged right back into our conversation: ‘Dan, when it comes to other religions, the challenge in modernity was to prove that we’re right and they’re wrong. But I think we have a different challenge in postmodernity. The question isn’t so much whether we’re right but whether we’re good. And it strikes me that goodness, not just rightness, is what Jesus said the real issue was – you know, good trees produce good fruit, that sort of thing. If we Christians would take all the energy we put into proving we’re right and others are wrong and invested that energy in pursuing and doing good, somehow I think that more people would believe we are right…. I’m not in any way saying truth isn’t important. But I am saying that truth means more than factual accuracy. It means being in sync with God.’”

Not only does Barger not get the quote correct, but in its full context the quote means almost the exact opposite of what he accuses McLaren of saying. In its proper context McLaren’s comment is fairly innocuous and probably something most Christians would agree with. Unfortunately I see this kind of unfairness to the actual statements of those they are criticizing happen quite frequently. In fact, I believe they regularly participate in slander.

I also greatly struggle with the win-at-all-costs mentality displayed by many. I do think standing up for orthodoxy is critical in the Church but I also think we need to heed at least two scriptural warnings. The first is the blindness the Pharisees had to Jesus that led to the “unpardonable sin” of blaspheming the Holy Spirit. I take the message of that troublesome text (Luke 12:10) to be that we should always be very careful to call something “not of God” if it indeed may be of God. Second, Ephesus, the first of the seven churches in Revelation 2-3 was praised for having strong filters of orthodoxy but it was chastised for losing its “first love.” I think there is a deep relationship between the way the Church carries its filters of orthodoxy and its demonstration of love. I don’t believe that we have to choose between orthodox doctrine and love, but I think some of the tone and destructive tactics that we are witnessing in the Church over these issues does demonstrate that it is all too easy to lose sight of the centrality of loving one another when contesting over doctrine. And if we lose our love, we have ceased to be Christ’s Church.

 

Dear heretic Pastor Scott,

How dare you attack the Self Righteousness of Eric Barger and question his ability to read and comprehend and thus question his ability to misrepresent Brian McLaren. Eric Barger of Take a Stand Ministries would never lie… he, being a greatly gifted Discernementalist would only revise the quotes to prove that Brian McLaren is the heretic that Eric and all the rest of us decided he is. For you to stoop so low as to put the quote in context is unbearably irresponsible! You are killing your own denomination with this so called honesty! Do you now see that God needs us to protect him in this Truth War where OUR Doctrines are being torn apart by the emerging church? Do you not see that Truth is so fragile that it must be protected!? Good grief! Are you even a real Christian at all?

My dearest friend Eric is a top notch scholar and even has many videos and cd’s he sells to prove how smart he is! Maybe you need to stay off Youtube.com (most likely viewing the perverted emerging videos) and order some of Eric’s great materials so you can be really educated. You will never understand emerging by reading those from that hideous field of heretical thought. You must get your truth and understanding from the likes of us who can filter out the garbage and tell you how we see it… it does not matter what they really say or what you think they say… it ONLY MATTERS WHAT WE THINK THEY SAY AND REVISE THEIR QUOTES TO MEAN!

I suspect that you may not really be Elect so cannot see the truth if it hit you in the head. You need to read Ken Silva’s missives, Slice of Laodicea, Eric Barger, Discerning the World and most importantly, the ODMafia (We are starting the Discernementalist University so people like you can learn how to discern without questioning us!)

I hope those that read your blog see the error of you ways and understand how crazy you sound! Hell will be hot… do you feel the heat yet? BTW I guess you have not heard that Eric Barger also has a time machine and can not tell us if someone is going to be heretical before they even speak! So in closing I will finish with this… Bwahahhahaa!

Mercy and Grace will follow me all the days of my life,

I Todyaso

(I. Todyaso was mentored by Ken Silva by listening to him on the radio and reading his missives)

Eric Barger Creates Re-Tardis!

 

As an expert discermentalist journalist I have uncovered the latest expose through the help of my research robot monkey sidekicks. Eric Barger dutifully notes an APOSTASY ALERT:

ISLAMIC SOCIETY CONVENTION LANDS APPEARANCE FROM RICK WARREN!

The title of his missive is “APOSTASY ALERT – JUNE 19,2009″!!! 

But how would Eric Barger know that potential apostasy exists when it has not happened yet? Unknown to you readers, we have disclosed a secret that will likely hit news stands across the world!!!! 

We stand (or Take A Stand) at the GREATEST invention of the 21st Century! 

Eric Barger’s Take A Stand Ministries has created using his bible based satellite system (BS) something similar to Dr. Who’s Tardis dubbed “RE-TARDIS.”  Its a discernmentalist TIME MACHINE.

That is right! You have read correct!!! He has gone into the near future, recorded Warren’s Apostasy and returned in the present to write his missive.

Rememeber, let the ODMAfia do the discerning for you so that you don’t have to go through the pain of thinking for yourselves.

Quiz Time!

 

Sample tests for ODMU

 

1. What is the best twist of this emerging heretic’s sentence: “All religions are the same as they lead to death; only faith in Jesus is the Way to Life and salvation.”
   1. See, he admits it! All religions are the same.
   2. I see nothing wrong with that statement.
   3. He says nothing about going to church, being baptized; reading his bible and other things that prove one is a real Christian!

 

1. Which statement is from a squishy emerging heretic?
   1. “I’d say Jesus is who the Bible says Jesus is.”
   2. “And I’m happy to tell them that Jesus…that Jesus is also just. He is merciful and He’s kind but He’s also just.”
   3. “Ok…and I and I’m saying not by my standard…not by my standard… By the standard of what I understand from reading the Scripture…”

 

1. True or False: “we are saved when we are baptized. Ok, it sounds an awful lot like the Catholic church.”
   1. True
   2. False

 

 

 

Answers:

 

1.)    a. or c.

2.)    a. (the others are from John Chisham aka Pastorboy.) a. was spoken by Tony Jones who is an Emergent so it has to be wrong!

3.)    This one is a trick question. If it is from the mouth of an Emergent then it is false but if you are a Lutheran, then we accept this as just a simple difference we overlook. (Lutheran’s like Ingrid Schlueter and Chris Rosebrough are great examples of exceptions to this almost RCC belief!) This is what this course will teach you… how to discernmentalize times when it is important to compromise and set aside minor doctrinal differences like baptismal regeneration to focus attacks on others.

 

So how did you do? Let us know!

Emerging: from Tradition to Transition to Transformation

 

 

The Online Discernmentalist Mafia special research reporters have been out in full force. “There is a 3-step process that leads to ‘transformation,’” writes Herescope! Herescope does not stop there but rather produces hard hitting evidence “The word “transformation” is one of those words that has a double meaning…. To the speaker, it may mean something different altogether” Double meanings are often sinister!

What is this evidence? Herescope using the Heretic-o-meter deduces that this is indeed part of the Aquarian Conspiracy! How insightful and masterful in their investigation. We praise this ministry for large leaps of logic and lapses of reason because we too support this keen type of judgment as bible based. Indeed the Online Discernmentalist Mafia has a room full of two, sometimes three keen researchers with feces throwing robot monkey’s to aid in discernmentalism. That is why discernmentalist ministries are never wrong…and the Online Discernmentalist Mafia 100% correct.

The Online Discernmentalist Mafia special research reporters have been out in full force. “There is a 3-step process that leads to ‘transformation,’” writes Herescope! Herescope does not stop there but rather produces hard hitting evidence “The word “transformation” is one of those words that has a double meaning…. To the speaker, it may mean something different altogether” Double meanings are often sinister!

What is this evidence? Herescope using the Heretic-o-meter deduces that this is indeed part of the Aquarian Conspiracy! How insightful and masterful in their investigation. We praise this ministry for large leaps of logic and lapses of reason because we too support this keen type of judgment as bible based. Indeed the Online Discernmentalist Mafia has a room full of two, sometimes three keen researchers with feces throwing robot monkey’s to aid in discernmentalism. That is why discernmentalist ministries are never wrong…and the Online Discernmentalist Mafia 100% correct.

Phoenix lander scoops dirt finds heretic and emerging church

As fall creeps up on the arctic plains of Mars, NASA’s Phoenix Lander is using the few weeks it has left to gather as many samples of Martian dirt for analysis as it can.

Over the past two weeks, Phoenix’s nearly 8-foot-long (2.4-meter) scanning arm moved a rock named “Heretic” about 16 inches (40 cm) and snapped an image of the rock with its camera…..exposing the lies of this barren planet.

Then the robotic arm scraped up some remnants of an ancient emergent church underneath the rock and delivered a few teaspoonfuls of it into the lander’s truth scanner and emergent detecting microscopes. These microscopes are part of Phoenix’s Absolute, False Teacher Finder and  Analyzer (AFTFA).

The special detector was developed under the watchful eye of John MacArthur, Slice of Laodicea, Eric Barger’s Take a Stand Ministries combined with earlier technological feats of Apprising Ministries Heresy Detection Technology Section. University of ODMafia faculty were on standby as consultants.