December 4, 2019
ANTIFA-ISIS BEAR: “You should have eaten my cheese kafirs… you don’t disrespect a panda blessed with mission from Allah or his delicious goat cheese products or I’m gonna get you!”
Discernmentalists have detected a new terrorist threat by ANTIFA-linked bears connected to ISIS where a class of schoolkids have been flattened by a speeding car and a demon monkey (downloads into your soul)…and a panda (threatens Bible-believers)…don’t ask. One of these ANTIFA-linked Pandas terrorize bible-believers with unholy cheese abominations as caught by our Research Robot Monkeys. It was even reported by Discernmentalist News Networks that a bible-believing Discernmentalist home owner had an unpleasant run in with one of these monsters:
OH CRAP I’M OUT OF PANDA CHEESE “Just you know why…” LOCAL MAN FOUND DEAD INSIDE HOME. Two other people died by being stuffed with strange worldly unbiblical cheeses.
September 3, 2019
We are proud to present Pope Dr. John MacArthur (PBUH) with the honourary award for discernmentalizing Rick Warren’s very evil book “Purpose Driven Life.” We too are against any Christian who wants to purposely follow Jesus.
We realize that there is no true gospel that explains the way John MacArthur (PBUH) thinks it should be explained.
We also realize that the true gospel must be explained in english…the only gospel approved language allowed for and by discernmentalists.
We realize that every book written by a TRUE Christian must fully explain the gospel…even if the book is about science, politics, economics, sanctification or eating a Kraft Dinner meal.
We realize that every book written by a Christian must be submitted for John MacArthur’s approval (PBUI). In fact all our blogging has been approved by John himself before being printed here on the ODMafia blog (just like Phil Johnson and his Mighty Pyromaniacs blog).
Finally, we acknowledge that the gospel is about a formula like E=MC²….and should have complete mathematical balance.
Remember…. this is a battle for truth….after all this is a truthwar. And because we support a modern gospel every detail must be perfect. Exactly explained, in every nuance.
Truthslayer, if I don’t say it….its not true.
April 30, 2019
We are sad to announce that part 2 of Dr. Truthslayer’s series on When Discernment Becomes Extra Ugly scheduled for today is postponed until further notice as once again and as always our Pure Doctrines of our most Holy most inerrant illustrious Pope of our Truth War (PBUH) have come under attack. One of our very own— Pulpit & Pen have fired off a salvo against the Online Discernmentalist Mafia community due to our recent Massives on the truth about Heresy-Hunting and
defamation of characters the Reformation. Pulpit & Pen have threatened to demolish our Truth Bunker with their missives (which aren’t nearly as Pure in their Truth and Doctrine as our Massives). Thankfully though our Truth Bunker is super secret so wasn’t hit and none of us were harmed.
Quote from one of their missives in which they slander the blessed memory of our late great affectionate Uncle Pastor-Teacher who taught us everything we know about discernmentalism:
I firmly believe that “guilt by association” (as known as the Doctrine of Godly Separation) is a Biblical concept found throughout both the Old and New Testaments, and anyone who says otherwise needs to read their Bible. However, guilt-by-association can
not be applied ad infinitum. …The late Ken Silva’s Apprising Ministries, who recommended…Justin Peters (but not) John MacArthur… Justin Peters is bad for (not) recommending John MacArthur, (but instead is) recommending Albert Mohler, who is bad for recommending (ostensibly) Rick Warren.
Everyone knows that Ken would never under any circumstances recommend Purpose-Driven Heretic Rick Warren even by guilt of association as the late Ken Silva (blessed be his memory) passed on his Clear Teachings to us which are the same as our Clear Teachings. Also Ken himself in his glorious missives taught us to use guilt by association ad infinitum and an attack on Ken’s Clear Teachings is an attack on the Clear Teachings of our Pure Doctrines of our Pope of the Truth War (PBUH) and therefore an attack on us personally. Also everyone knows that John MacArthur (PBUH) is the only True living Teacher of God’s Word who said this about Baptism which is consistent with our Clear Teachings on Baptism so he would never violate the Purity of our Doctrine of Godly Separation and associate with an infant sprinkling heretic:
We understand what believer’s baptism is from Scripture.
But there’s a world of people who don’t get it, who don’t understand it. And there are people who don’t know that it is important and who don’t think the methodology is important, or even the time when a person is baptized. There are folks who are just plain confused about baptism, what is its method, and what is its meaning, and in particular, what about the baptizing of infants, which is how you get a world full of non-Christians who have been baptized as infants.
Infant baptism is not baptism…it’s not New Testament baptism. This may surprise you, it’s nothing, it’s totally meaningless. Well you might have got emotional when you took your little child in there ‘cause you love your little child and you hope the best for him, or her. But as far as the spiritual condition of that child, it had absolutely no effect whatsoever. Infant baptism is not in the Bible, it is not New Testament baptism. And this is an uncontestable fact because when you do go in to the Bible in the New Testament and you talk about baptism and you study baptism, it is absolutely crystal clear what baptism is. The only people who are ever baptized in the New Testament are people who have come to faith in Christ. And baptism is always immersing them in water, it is never sprinkling water on their heads from a tiny little fountain.
And as everyone knows no True Truth Warrior would do anything that is not contained in the Bible as we are all Conservative Bible-believing folks—and all Bible-believers everywhere agree with JMac’s Truth (PBUI) otherwise they are enemies of our Truth in the Truth War. Quote: “Obedience simply means to submit to what the Lord says, do what He tells you. And what He tells you is revealed in Scripture.” This is why we ODMs always have to hide out in our Truth Bunker to keep our
fragile Hard Doctrines which always need protecting purified and safe from all manners of sinfully ecumenical worldliness and hereticalness—in fact we hide out in separate rooms in our bunker to perfect the purity of our Pure Doctrine of separation as well. Also we may only be a congregation of 3 separate people with an occasional 4th or 5th member but that just proves how much purer our Doctrine of separation is than anyone else’s as we follow the late Ken Silva’s Church Growth model of Ecumenical jihad dividing the church.
Holding all to be separated in our Doctrine,