John Piper On The Southeastern Storm System

April 18, 2011

(Reuters)- In a meeting of Discernmentalists with John Piper about the storm system that ravaged areas of the Southeast this weekend, Mike Morrell quasi-Mystical Universalist Emergence Guru and his Emergent Cohort were mentioned often. In the meeting Piper said that he believes that Emergent Cohorts and Emergent Postmodern types of Christians among the South are directly responsible for all the damage caused by this storm system. He is quoted as saying: ” The storm system in the Southeast was a gentle but firm warning to Emergents and Mike Morrell’s Emergent Cohort in particular: Turn from the approval of the sin of Postmodernism. Turn from the promotion of behaviors that lead to destruction.”

Piper is under the firm conviction that the storm system was a wake-up call and a taste of God’s Wrath being poured out to punish Emergent sinners for reading Rob Bell’s new book.  Sometime during the meeting Ken Silva overheard John Piper say: “Farewell Mike Morrell!”  Along with Ken Silva, several other top Discernmentalists were among the participants of the meeting including I. Todyaso and Don Jobson of the Online Discernmentalist Mafia who have already taken issue with Morrell’s Roman Catholic leanings and Emergent theology.


The Discernmentalist Social Gospel (Part 1)

October 14, 2010

The Social Gospel is an abomination as it makes a mockery out of our Holy Absolute Sovereign God of Wrath and Terror. Not only that but the Social Gospel doesn’t even contain anything related to the American Gospel (such as Free-Market Capitalism and Reaganomics). The false Gospel of the Social Gospel is a gateway to Marxism and Communism because it promotes Socialism and unbiblical Socialistic themes such as social justice, sharing, fairness, caring, helping those in need, taking care of the poor, widows and orphans, etc.—which is Absolutely Evil. This is exactly why we must come against this abomination of our True Gospel.

However we aren’t against all forms of Socialism just the liberal, Social Justice-loving, Social Gospel-promoting, Emergent, Red-Letter Christian and Russio-Chinese type. We are all for Our type of Socialism, the Discernmentalist American Social Gospel aka American Republican Socialism. Socialism is great when it is all for Us and not them. We are all for the following:


ODM Science Lesson # 4

July 19, 2010

 Number 4 in our lessons on ODM Science:


“The REAL Purpose of the Church.”

June 30, 2010

 

Eric Barger reveals “The REAL Purpose of the Church” by giving a sneak preview of what’s in store for all True ODM Churches in these Last Days. What’s in store for all Pure ODM Churches taking a stand for Absolute Truth you may ask? Why! Nothing but the blessed rapture! (Thanks to one of our Reasearch Robot Monkeys for catching this).

However we are not quite satisfied with that answer as we are not quite in the Last Days of this Great Tribulation of Emergent apostasy—because of this we must continue to stand for Truth so that we will be ready—Rapture Ready when the blessed rapture occurs before Jesus returns and comes to slay all the non-Elect unregenerate reprobates.

Are you ready? Here is our list of what one must do to be ready in order to prepare for the blessed rapture

  • Unconditionally support every act of Israel even their acts of terrorism
  • Unconditionally support USA-brand Imperialism
  • Vote Obama and every Democrat out of office
  • Smoke a Spurgeon-approved cigar
  • Buy 667 copies of John MacArthur’s book The Truth War: Fighting for Certainty in an Age of Deception and leave one copy everywhere you go just in case one of the regenerate predestined Elect accidently stumbles upon a copy and awakens to their status of being among the regenerate predestined Elect
  • Outlaw all abortion and homosexuality
  • Use only a King James AV1611 Bible or ESV
  • Burn any copy of Rick Warren’s Purpose Driven Life, Brian McLaren’s books or any other Emergent type book that you come across preferably while performing a Bible-Based animal sacrifice or while  burning Emergent heretics themselves 
  • Read only the Online Discernmentalist Mafia, The Official Blog Of God’s Only Inerrant Party, Ken Silva and other ODMs to get your facts]
  • Continue to be ever-vigilant and ever-valiant in your stand for our Absolute Biblical Truth

Introducing Our Brand Spanking New Truth War Motivators!

June 12, 2010

 

Created especially for our fellow Truth Warriors in this war against for  Truth—and especially for Phil Johnson who only wishes he could create posters half as good as we can come up with on any given day. Click here for more if you dare. Come on we double dog dare you that is unless you are truly one of our enemies who denies there is such thing as Absolute Truth which of course we mere errant mortal humans get to define the Bible defines. On second thought nevermind even if you are one of our many enemies, ye should click just to be smited with our Truth and see us point and laugh at how you are the ignorant ones for denying our Discernmentalist values.

* Feel free to link or don’t link back to them on your site but just remember We Know who you are and We Know what you are doing as we can see, hear, smell, taste and feel all through are Bible-Based Osmosis.

** These Truth War Motivators are subject to be added to or subtracted from our library at any time.

*** And remember WWJMD? (What would John MacArthur Do?)


Tin-Foil Hat Theology: A Discernmentalist’s Best Friend!

May 29, 2010

 

We support Tin-Foil Hat Theology in all of it’s glory. Forget the Purpose-Driven heretical drivel of Rick Warren—we support the Conspiracy-Driven Church. Remember Truth is under attack by our enemies—-some of whom have even crept up into our churches uninvited by secret cloaking Truth-bending tactics. These Spiritual Terrorists are otherwise known as the Emergent Church and/or Red-Letter Christians.

They have sneaked inside of our churches in order to bend the Truth to their evil overlord Brian McLaren’s ungodly and unbiblical libertarian free-will. Rather than serving the Pure and Absolute Sovereign God of Wrath, whose Absolute Glory is man’s chief end—they’d rather serve their sinful, prideful and selfish ways and therefore they bow down to Satan, the Master of all Untruth, which makes materialism, selfishness and human pride and sin man’s chief end.

Remember also that God’s Sovereign Truth is so precious and fragile that it needs protecting by mere mortals using any means necessary including slander, libel,  lies and other worldly weapons (this is the Truth War afterall)—this is where conspiracy theories come in handy and why Tin-Foil Hat Theology is a Discernmentalist’s best friend. The nuttier the conspiracy theory the better to help defend and protect the Absolute Truth. Here are some of our personal favorite conspiracies that Brannon Howse has uncovered and taught us over the years :

- non-Zionists, Emergents, socialists, globalists, Muslims, communists, atheists, heathens, Red-Letter Christians, Marxists and secular Jews are all attempting to take over the world.

- International bankers are trying to take over the world.

- The Illuminati, or other clandestine groups, are attempting to take over the world.

- NASA and the government are covering over the truth about UFOs.

- NASA and the government are covering over the truth about cities on Mars and the moon.

- NASA and the government are covering over the truth that the Apollo missions were hoaxes.

- The government is covering over the assassination or assassination attempts on high-profile government officials like JFK or Ron Brown or the attempt on Final President Reagan. 

- Muslims are responsible for all acts of terrorism around the world.

- Obama is a Secular-Humanist Muslim atheist and the Anti-Christ bent on destroying America through Communistic Socialism and helping our enemies take over the world.

 - the government is covering over their involvement in orchestrating the events of September 11th, 2001, with remote control planes, cruise missiles, and controlled demolitions with Muslims’ and liberals’ help. (Source: New World Order Weekend).

The noted and award-winning Discernmentalist Tin-Foil Hat Theologian Ken Silva wants our students to know that: “Conspiracies are just too difficult to keep secret even when there are only one or two people keeping the secret.”… so help us to expose all to the secret conspiracies  of our enemies who are all out there trying to destroy the Truth and the church…And as always, spread the fear and hate!


Was Hitler A Truly Regenerate Elect Christian?

May 28, 2010

 

Rhoblogy actually had the gall to ask such an ignorant question. Of course, Hitler was Truly of the Regenerate Elect and a True Christian being the True Truth Warrior that he was. Brannon Howse should reprimand Rhoblogy and ban him from voting in the next Republican National Convention until he publically Repents of his ignorance. Phil Johnson should also revoke Rhoblogy’s commenting privileges on the Mighty Truth Warrior site: Pyromaniacs. We just pray and hope that Rhoblogy is not one of  the many unfortunate sinners to fall into the hands of our angry God of Wrath not love. Thankfully though being some of the lucky Chosen few who are of the True Godly Elect we’re here to set Rhoblogy straight just as our affectionate Uncle Ken Silva would have already if he was as gifted at True Discernmentalism as We are here.

God has gifted us with such a high and mighty gift of self-righteous Discernmentalism that we are able to presume a person’s Eternal Destiny. Hitler was not only a True Truth Warrior just like John MacArthur is but he is also a True man of God as well and we’ll show you just why—as you know if you are a good and faithful student of John MacArthur’s Pure Truth Wars Doctrines™ that the mark of a Truly Regenerate Elect Christian Truth Warrior of Absolute Truth in this war against for Truth is as follows:

  1. a True Christian must be anti-Catholic:
    1. The mass of the catholic church is ‘a blasphemous fable and a dangerous deceit’. The pope of rome is antichrist. ( instead of Christ) The Romish Church is not a true church in any biblical sense. It is the whore of Babylon as stated in Rev. 17-18. This is the position taken by historic protestantism. Any so called protestants who have wandered from this position are apostate protestants. The catholic church may be a false church of God in the same way as satan is God’s devil. God is soverign!
  2. a True Christian is Protestant
  3. a True Christian is anti-social,  anti-Socialist and anti-Communist
  4. a  True Christian takes a stand against all things gay and homosexual

Hitler exemplified all of these marks and here is just one quote by him as Absolute Proof:

‘Hitler’s Truth War:

“Today they say that Christianity is in danger, that the Catholic faith is threatened. My reply to them is: for the time being, Christians and not international atheists are now standing at Germany’s fore. I am not merely talking about Christianity; I confess that I will never ally myself with the parties which aim to destroy Christianity. Fourteen years they have gone arm in arm with atheism. At no time was greater damage ever done to Christianity than in those years when the Christian parties ruled side by side with those who denied the very existence of God. Germany’s entire cultural life was shattered and contaminated in this period. It shall be our task to burn out these manifestations of degeneracy in literature, theater, schools, and the press—that is, in our entire culture—and to eliminate the poison which has been permeating every facet of our lives for these past fourteen years.” (Source).

 Sound familiar?

Right now, truth is under attack, and it’s going on within the boundaries of evangelicalism. There’s a lot at stake and there’s no middle ground—no safe zone for the uncommitted in this war. [T]he church today is quite possibly more susceptible to false teachers, doctrinal saboteurs, and spiritual terrorism than any other generation in church history. Biblical ignorance within the church may well be deeper and more widespread than at any other time since the Protestant Reformation. (Source).

Oh yeah and here’s a quote by Hitler on the Penal Substitutionary Theory of the Atonement just in case you deny the True Truth Warrior-ness of Hitler:

“My feelings as a Christian points me to my Lord and Savior as a fighter. It points me to the man who once in loneliness, surrounded by a few followers, recognized these Jews for what they were and summoned men to fight against them and who, God’s truth! was greatest not as a sufferer but as a fighter. In boundless love as a Christian and as a man I read through the passage which tells us how the Lord at last rose in His might and seized the scourge to drive out of the Temple the brood of vipers and adders. How terrific was His fight for the world against the Jewish poison. To-day, after two thousand years, with deepest emotion I recognize more profoundly than ever before the fact that it was for this that He had to shed His blood upon the Cross. As a Christian I have no duty to allow myself to be cheated, but I have the duty to be a fighter for truth and justice… And if there is anything which could demonstrate that we are acting rightly it is the distress that daily grows. For as a Christian I have also a duty to my own people.

-Adolf Hitler, in a speech on 12 April 1922 (Norman H. Baynes, ed. The Speeches of Adolf Hitler, April 1922-August 1939, Vol. 1 of 2, pp. 19-20, Oxford University Press, 1942)

John MacArthur couldn’t have said it any better:

“My Absolute Certainty as a Christian points me to my Lord and Savior as a fighter. It points me to the man who once in loneliness, surrounded by a few followers, recognized these Bible-denying Emergent Red-Letter Socialist Justice  promoting Seeker-Sensitive Purpose-Driven heretic Christians for what they were and summoned men to fight against them and for God’s truth! Jesus was greatest not as a sufferer but as a fighter—a zealous warrior for Absolute Truth. In boundless love as a Christian and as a man I read through the passage which tells us how the Lord at last rose in His might and seized the scourge to drive out of the Temple the brood of vipers and adders. How terrific was His fight for the Absolute Truth against worldly poison. To-day, after two thousand years, with deepest emotion I recognize more profoundly than ever before the fact that it was for Absolute Truth that He had to shed His blood upon the Cross. As a Christian I have no duty to allow myself to be cheated nor let the Church be deceived, but I have the duty to be a fighter for Absolute Truth and the True Justice of  our God’s Absolute Sovereign Wrath… And if there is anything which could demonstrate that we are acting rightly it is the distress that daily grows. For as a Christian I have also a duty to my own people—the Church, God’s People—the True Godly and Elect. 


Be A Literalist!: Part 4

May 24, 2010

 

In many Bibles, all the words of Jesus are in red. There is nothing wrong with that. But something is wrong when Leftist Christians or so-called Christians want to mute the words of Paul and other writers and only follow Jesus’ words. They call themselves “red-letter Christians.” They feel it is convenient to blot out the words of Paul on homosexuality and focus in on the good deeds Jesus talks about. Most are pacifists who reject an “eye for an eye” (Leviticus 24:19-20). They focus on Jesus’ words about helping the poor, ministering to “the least of these” (Matthew 25:40), loving our enemies, etc. That justifies abandoning hundreds, even thousands of condemning verses in the Bible they choose to wish away. That makes homosexuality OK and war wrong! Red-letter Christians join the chorus of those who believe in a utopia with no wanting or war. Yes, that will come someday, but not the way they think. This could come as a shock to them just because they have little to no regard for other parts of the Bible. They have almost created a new meaning for the term “biblical illiteracy.”  It is also tragic that these folks are frequently called “the evangelical Left.” They don’t have even 1% of evangelical theology in a single bone in their body. They cherry- pick the verses they like, almost exclusively the red letters of Jesus. — Jan Markell, Absolute Biblical Truth Defender.

Think literally. Think creatively. Think creatively about your literalism as ‘The Bible is a book of words and those words are to be interpreted according to what we think is their literal sense. Literally is the only honest way to read….honestly, the literal sense is literally the only honest way to read so be a literalist. Read the Bible literally if anyone objects ask him if you should consider his objection literally or you can explain that the Bible is literature and that there is no other way to read it but literally.’

It is rather creative to read a literal meaning into any given text even if a literal meaning was never the original intent of it’s author to begin with. For example, eventhough a large majority of the Biblical Book of Genesis  is literally Hebrew Poetry— here are some examples of the ways in which we ceatively read a  literal meaning into the text when we literally  read the Book of Genesis as a literal Historical Narrative

 

  • Example # 2: Also Genesis 12:36 states “It was Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve or Anna and Eve, marriage is between one man and one woman, anything else is a sin punished by being sent to Hell.” Which seems to be the original of the Neocon view on Gay marriage and Homosexuals. (Source: Yo Dummy! It’s Adam And Eve Not Adam And Steve.).

Which Is The More Biblically Based Economic System?

May 18, 2010

 

Here is one of our fine and quality Biblically Based Discernmentalist Preparatory Tests:

Your official instructor Todd Friel, Wretched Instructor of I*segesis, Doctor of Fear-mongering and Misinformation will now instruct you on the pressing question of Biblically Based Economic Systems via video:

You heard your question of the day: Which is the more Biblically Based Economic System—Capitalism or Communism? You may now begin this quiz. Open Bibles are welcomed and encouraged. You may even call Brannon Howse or Jan Markell  for help. Good Luck!

Capitalism is the more Biblically Based Economic System? Check yes____ or check no ____.’

“‘Now this was the sin of your sister Sodom: She and her daughters were arrogant, overfed and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy. — Ezekiel 16:49

14 The Pharisees, who loved money, heard all this and were sneering at Jesus. 15 He said to them, “You are the ones who justify yourselves in the eyes of men, but God knows your hearts. What is highly valued among men is detestable in God’s sight. 16 “The Law and the Prophets were proclaimed until John. Since that time, the good news of the kingdom of God is being preached, and everyone is forcing his way into it. 17 It is easier for heaven and earth to disappear than for the least stroke of a pen to drop out of the Law. 19 “There was a rich man who was dressed in purple and fine linen and lived in luxury every day. 20 At his gate was laid a beggar named Lazarus, covered with sores 21 and longing to eat what fell from the rich man’s table. Even the dogs came and licked his sores. 22 “The time came when the beggar died and the angels carried him to Abraham’s side. The rich man also died and was buried. 23 In hell, where he was in torment, he looked up and saw Abraham far away, with Lazarus by his side. 24 So he called to him, ‘Father Abraham, have pity on me and send Lazarus to dip the tip of his finger in water and cool my tongue, because I am in agony in this fire.’ 25 “But Abraham replied, ‘Son, remember that in your lifetime you received your good things, while Lazarus received bad things, but now he is comforted here and you are in agony. 26 And besides all this, between us and you a great chasm has been fixed, so that those who want to go from here to you cannot, nor can anyone cross over from there to us.’ 27 “He answered, ‘Then I beg you, father, send Lazarus to my father’s house, 28 for I have five brothers. Let him warn them, so that they will not also come to this place of torment.’ 29 “Abraham replied, ‘They have Moses and the Prophets; let them listen to them.’ 30 “‘No, father Abraham,’ he said, ‘but if someone from the dead goes to them, they will repent.’ 31 “He said to him, ‘If they do not listen to Moses and the Prophets, they will not be convinced even if someone rises from the dead.’ “ — Luke 16:14-17 and 19-31.

Then said Jesus unto his disciples, Verily I say unto you, That a rich man shall hardly enter into the kingdom of heaven. And again I say unto you, It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God. — Matthew 19:23-24, Mark 10:23-25

But woe unto you that are rich! for ye have received your consolation. — Luke 6:24

 Go to now, ye rich men, weep and howl for your miseries that shall come upon you. — James 5:1

Or communism is the more Biblically Based Economic System ? Check yes____ or check no ____.

The Fellowship of the Believers

 42They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. 43Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles. 44All the believers were together and had everything in common. 45Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. 46Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, 47praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.

Jesus answered, “If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”— Matthew 19:21.

 35 ” ‘If one of your countrymen becomes poor and is unable to support himself among you, help him as you would an alien or a temporary resident, so he can continue to live among you. 36 Do not take interest of any kind [a] from him, but fear your God, so that your countryman may continue to live among you. 37 You must not lend him money at interest or sell him food at a profit. 38 I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of Egypt to give you the land of Canaan and to be your God.— Leviticus 25: 35-38.

The Absolute Truth Biblical answer of course is Capitalism:

When Christianity adheres to the judicial specifics of the Bible, it produces free market capitalism.

On the other hand, when Christianity rejects the judicial specifics of the Bible, it produces socialism or some politically run hybrid “middle way” between capitalism and socialism, where politicians and bureaucrats make the big decisions about how people’s wealth will be allocated. Economic growth then slows or is reversed. Always.

John MacArthur even told us so—so just remember to vote like Us on this quiz because We are Always Right and then you’ll be all set to be qualified as a candidate for the position of a True Biblically-Based Discernmentalist just like Ken Silva and Eric Barger. If for some reason you don’t vote exactly like us most likely because you are an unrepentant unregenerate Emergent and Red-Letter Christian then we pray that you REPENT and get saved under John MacArthur approved teaching by believing Our Truth and by accepting the Gospel of Reagan that is if you really are a True Elect Republican Believer to begin with and therefore allowed to repent.


ATTENTION MIGHTY TRUTH WARRIORS! – Facing the truth….our way

May 16, 2010

We believe there is not such thing as a biblical discussion because there is truth and there is error.

We don’t make error, you make error.

We state the truth (because we have THE OFFICIAL DISCERNMENTALIST STANDARD ORTHODOX BIBLE BELIEVING REPUBLIICAN RIGHT WING TRUTH OF THE AMERICAN GOSPEL) and you must assent to it otherwise you are an unorthodox, bible hating liberal that you are. There is no discussion other than us telling how to believe, how to behave, who to vote for, how to think and and how to live. Moreover, you need to LEARN to fear a lot of things too if you want to be as pure as us.

This is why we believe in promoting the following when we speak to others….

1. A willful ignorance in which we choose to embrace a caricature of someone’s view rather than truly seek to understand it – or worse, an intentional dishonesty in advancing such a caricature we know to be misleading or untrue.

2. An unwillingness to allow persons to speak in their own words and argue against the actual content of their position.

3. Rejection of a view “out of hand” without having considered the merits of the argument.

4. An unwillingness to engage in real discussion, either talking past each other by ignoring the honest questions of others or engaging in debate/rhetorical techniques that are designed to win an argument rather than actually seek the truth.

5. Taking offense or rejecting an argument because of a perceived practical implication or application of someone’s view rather than the view itself.

6. Ascribing a perceived logical outcome of an opponents view and attacking that outcome rather than the view itself.

7. A willful blindness to our own presuppositions and or a failure to acknowledge those presuppositions of which we are aware.

8. Parsing words to the point of ascribing hidden agendas or extracting meanings never intended by the person.

9. Failure to give one’s opponent the benefit of the doubt in terms of personal motives.

10. A blindness to our own motives and personal agendas.

11. Attacking the character of the person rather than the argument made.

12. Responses that are reactionary not thoughtful – i.e., responding to something which we have neither read, sought to understand, reflected, nor considered the merits yet on which we have a strong, unwavering opinion that must be heard.

13. Responding to critics from a defensive posture rather than engaging in real discussion in a common desire for truth.

14. Name-calling or lumping a person into a particular camp in order to dismiss one’s argument without engaging it.

15. A dogmatic approach to issues which are tertiary in nature, on which persons of good conscience disagree, and which are more unclear in Scripture than we are willing to admit.

16. A failure to do theological triage resulting in an elevation of tertiary issues to secondary or even first order status.

17. A failure to have an irenic spirit and treat our opponents with respect.

18. A lack of humility.

When you are as truthful as we are…we don’t need to be humble. We simply need to be defensive and caustic to prove our point. Please imbibe and practice these 18 points if your are a mighty truth warrior.

Truthslayer


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