August 16, 2019
The mighty righteous Voice of the Sheep has spoken!
Voice of the Sheep notes ” Reading this blog may be hazardous to your man-centered doctrines, challenging to your unsupportable presuppositions, and just plain detrimental to your Arminian heresies. This blog has been known to cause high blood pressure, nose bleeds, headaches, stomach ulcers, gasping for breath, hyper-tension, dizzyness, nervous twitches, sudden angry vocal outbursts and light-headedness. If you experience any of these symptoms, stop reading immediately and consult the Word of truth. If you are susceptible to any of these because of your general lack of preparedness to give a defense, then please think twice before posting…you WILL be asked to defend what you say! All others are asked to leave their timid and easily-bruised egos at the door. Thanks for reading…”
Fellow discernmentalist….we tremble, our knees knock, our teeth chatter at your fearsome and rugged individualistic reformational sensational outburts. We are glad that you are on the side of righteous indignation, and that you cause others nervous twitches, nose bleeds and stomach ulcers…because we like to think that Jesus too brought stress, strain and frustration – what a marvelous example of humility you bring to the world! We are pleasedto note that despising arminians and suggesting that they are heretics that you have in fact thrown two well known and respected 18th century reformers into the category of heresy; John and Charles Wesley. Well done… let’s fine some more upstanding believers to throw out! If it makes you feel good…it makes us feel good too.
I suppose that only a true discernmentalist can add his pet doctrines to the gospel and yet still remain orthodox himself…of course always self proclaimed!
All I can say is “baaaa – baaaa-loney.”
Truthslayer—those who know me hear my voice
June 24, 2010
There is never enough time to bludgeon heretics. Unfortunately, there is not enough time in a day to judge all false of their worldliness. But when we don’t have time to judge, point fingers and cry heresy there is a game to afford in advancing our discernmentalist skills. That is why ODMafia, in conjunction with ODM Games and Judgmental Pointing Devices has come up with a new game: BATTLE AXE.
Battle Axe, while fun for the whole ODM Family (TM), is at heart an educational discernmentalist game. First, you develop skills of speaking loudly but not listening. Second, you must follow this up by being very argumentative. Third and finally only then you must hone skills to attack, ravage, defame, and ostracize your opponent ….all the while allowing you to further increase your false accusations and skillfully articulate your verbal abusive acuity. Indeed, the experts in this game are able to cloak gossip & slander in the guise and claims of mighty righteousness and ministry. If you get that far in this game and equally disparage your opponent… you have won the game and are ready for real life discernmentalism.
Truthslayer endorsed…of course!
PS Other games available include Never Sorry! Discernmentalist Twister, Build a Pharisee, and Theocapitalist Monopoly and Wac-Emergent,
June 18, 2010
Trigger warning: A creepy, old, male theologian talks about oral sex while repeatedly using words like “copulation,” “genitals,” and “breasts.”
With all this talk about a gay cartoon rat-agenda I’ve been hearing from Don I needed to bring out this PSA from our past to you from us with new commentaries:
This PSA brought to you by the letters J & P and the #1 as we’re #1 in our Absolute Certainty of our Absolute Biblical Truth ah… ah… ah…
(John) Piper (just like us) accepts
penile penal substitution as gospel and cannot navigate a casual conversation without picking tulips. (Our many enemies) find much of his theology (and ours) to be suspect at best and abominable at worst, but (they are) especially concerned by his (and our) low view of women, whom he thinks should ideally adopt a subservient role in society, not only within their own marriages and churches. He has also stated he thinks wives should endure spousal abuse for a season, for instance, if her husband merely “smacks her around one night.” (By the way, the #MeToo movement came after Paige “Fried Chicken” Patterson recently for similar abhorrent remarks. When is it coming for John Piper?!?) (Anyways) Piper also likes to field questions from his adoring fans, often about sex, which are usually about exciting and fun as listening to your grandfather talking about the subject. If you don’t know anything about John Piper, this video will help. Bring your own vomit bag.
Anyways this is why we must absolutely forbid the appearance of gayness even by straight couples as gayness is an abomination—so remember all we told you…why…because…
June 11, 2010
A new era of ministry is expected to unfold with this BOLD invention says iTodyaso, head of Online Discernment Researchmentalism and Design! This incredible piece of discernment hardware will take truth warriors to a place where truth warriors have attempted to go before. Fellow warriors will take contempt to a whole new level; it is the difference between a lit match and a nuclear explosion under the control of a mighty bible warrior. Enmity, strife & hate can be magnified into righteous indignation at the drop of a hate hat, or the flick of a switch. Remember, this device can be used in conjunction with fear, circular arguments & leaps of logic. Keep in mind DonJobson has been secretly using this for weeks under careful observation and clinical trials before this device was released to the public.
Soon ODMs all over the planet will use this device to heap judgment on anyone who gets in OUR way of the truth.
PS remember, judgment over mercy!