December 20, 2019
Getting back to Chick-Fil-A—lest we forget as my esteemed colleague and ever-Discernmentalizing co-Truth-Warrior in the truthiness of John MacArthur’s Truth War (PBUI) Dr. Pastor-Teacher I. Todyaso has reminded me that there are other restaurants among us compromising our Discernmentalist values. We mustn’t stop with just our campaign to re-sanctify and re-Christianize chicken restaurants when unbiblical seafood restaurants are allowed to exist. If these restaurants continue to align with dark forces that go against our Doctrines and compromise their stand by caving in to bullies—we Discernmentalist Christians will stop supporting them and they will die out. That’s why:
We must rally all our fellow Discernmentalists and Truth Warriors to bring all of God’s law unto the heathens and the sodomites. We call upon all Christians to join us in the crusade against Long John Silver’s and Red Lobster. Yea, even Popeye’s shall be cleansed. The name of Bubba shall be anathema. We must stop the unbelievers from destroying the sanctity of our restaurants.
American Gospel from the Discernmentalist Bible is Clear:
We’ve even heard unbiblical seafood leads to all kinds of evil including having ties to the Mafia—so much evil that lobsters have even wrecked empires. Shrimp have been implicated in various scandals over the years.
Noted Sintologist Franklin Graham adds: “If unbiblical seafood restaurants recommit to biblical Discernmentalist values, refuse donations from the Mob, and clarify their stances on child slavery and Traditional biblical seafood, we believe much of this will heal and these seafood restaurants will be back in business and their current base of support will continue. If these seafood restaurants don’t, then we’re afraid what Mike Huckabee said will stand true: “Most seafood restaurants have made a Big Mistake!”
Update: Unbiblical seafood exporters tied to coercion; slavery and mass homicide:
The labourers come from Thailand’s much poorer neighbours Myanmar and Cambodia. Brokers illegally charge them fees to get jobs, trapping them into working on fishing vessels and at ports, mills and seafood farms in Thailand to pay back more money than they can ever earn.
“Sometimes, the net is too heavy and workers get pulled into the water and just disappear. When someone dies, he gets thrown into the water,” one Burmese worker told the non-profit organization Verité commissioned by Nestle.
“I have been working on this boat for 10 years. I have no savings. I am barely surviving,” said another. “Life is very difficult here.”
Update #2: Unbiblical seafood restaurant implicated in drug trafficking.
Update #3: Unbiblical seafood industry caught- Feds: Shrimp boat smuggled illegal immigrants into America.
October 29, 2019
Mark 16:14-19. They will pick up snakes and drink poison without being hurt. Acts 28:1-7 clear teaching. Solo Scriptura. The whole Bible. Be real and stop your deception. Either follow the whole Bible or leave the Christian faith. I do not want a cut and paste faith. That is no faith at all.
There are texts in the New Testament that most ignore:
The admonition to slaves to obey their masters (Ephesians 6:5, Colossians 3:22.).
The ban on marriage after divorce (Mark 10:10-12, Luke 16:18 and other places).
The belief that faith protects from snake bite: (Mark 16:14-19, Luke 10:17-19, Acts 28:1-7).
The belief that epilepsy is caused by demon possession (Matthew 17:14-18).
The belief that if an uncircumcised Christian man is circumcised, Christ will be of no benefit to him (Galatians 5:2-4)
Taking Matthew 19:12 – the castration text – literally.
As these New Testament texts are more or less ignored, it becomes easier to ignore other New Testament texts that ban women from preaching.
October 13, 2019
Sources? We have no need of sources but
Calvin’s Holy Institutes our Pope John MacArthur (PBUH)’s Holy Study the Bible.
June 24, 2019
Bibliophile in the midst of his sinister act
We’ve already apprised you on God’s Only Inerrant Party that while he was working with us on our de-sinned Arthur episode that Ray Comfort warned us that Bibliophiles are the latest threat in the atheist assault on Bible-Believers. “If you call any other Christian on this page a ‘bibliophile’ I will ban you. I thought it was just another atheist insult, a cross between pedophile and Bible.”—Ray Comfort. Its worse than that though as our Herescopes have discovered a more sinister definition of Bibliophiles that is not an atheist insult.
Recently our Research Robot Monkey spies using our Herescopes have observed a Bibliophile in the midst of the act that fits our newly discovered definition: “a book lover (most likely atheists ie. Disney) assaulting our children with strange books or their love of books. Librarians are also suspect in this.” [This is why we’ve forbidden our wives and children from going to the library or even looking at one (even our own Discernmentalist libraries)].
Mrs. Truthslayer and Mrs. Jobson wanted us to add that not only are these strange books but they are scary as well—after hearing us talk about some of these strange and heretical Emergent books we’ve been discernmentalizing. They have no other choice as they agree with us in our Doctrines. They contain such scary information that we can only flee in horror—fearing and quaking in terror from only briefly glancing at it. In fact our wives were heard screaming as they heard us talking about the spiritually terrorizing information contained within these apostate Emergent books—information such as:
- “I see the world through the images of Christianity, which teaches me that I encounter God in everyone I meet regardless of what they believe.”—Alan Jones
- “Since the church has been one of the main perpetrators of parental fear-mongering, it’s only fair we take up the cause of creating a culture of parenting that is less about what we don’t want for our children and more about what we do want.”—Doug Pagitt
We suspect this is part of the reason that Ray Comfort considers Bibliophile an atheist insult. We too consider it an insult after researchmentalizing this vulgar word even further which is why we had to add it to the Second Volume of our Discermentalist Dictionary. Setting the record straight we Online Discernmentalists thankfully are not—I repeat not Bibliophiles—let alone book-lovers but we do love our Bible! On a related note: we’re now offering a special sale on some of our favorite Discernmentalist books.
Books we especially love most of all:
- Truth Wars: Fighting for our certainty in an age of deception (the book that stared it all)
- Hell best kept secrets (taught us fear and guilt evangelism)