And we wonder why young people are leaving the church?
So the women who announced/preached to the disciples that Jesus was risen where wrong?
As were the many women who had house churches mentioned in Acts and the Epistles?
I don’t think so.
Truth will set you free Mike Rogers•6 days ago Jesus had 12 men for Apostles (no woman) and the Holy Spirit used men only to write the New Testament (no women). Yes a women was the first to proclaim the risen Lord because women are not excluded from evangelism. Please refer to the Pauline letters about women teachers and leaders. People are leaving the Church because there is no power displayed due to the watering down and the compromise of the Gospel! Just because a woman is not allowed to teach (except to other woman and children) does not make them inferior in any way, they are the equal to men in the Lord. The lord has set a template for the running and execution of His will within His church, not your Church nor my Church but His Church!
There you go that settles it—though we must rebuke “Truth will set you free” for his incomplete Discernmentalism. Why stop there? Why not take it further—as we’ve already pointed out on God’s Only Inerrant Party that none of Jesus’ disciples were Gentiles—no not one. They were all Jews therefore only Jewish men are truly called to preach. We rebuke anyone who teaches otherwise as our Pope of all Truth John MacArthur (PBUH) is absolutely right but only teaches half of the Truth that will set you free. If ever I walk into a church and see a woman or Gentile at the pulpit I will leave and shake the dust off my feet. Not only that I’ll leave if they fail any point on our Scripture test about who is called to preach.
Forget what our Truth War Pope (PBUH) says—what does the Bible say in that one proof-text we always quote from when this subject always comes up? “I do not allow a woman to teach or have authority over a man.” Is that ambiguous? Am I missing something in the Pastoral letters? Those are the letters that specifically deal with who should do what. No “call” can be authentically from God if it contradicts the Bible. Amen! People need to think and use their brain’s because Paul didn’t say it for no reason. If you keep reading right after that Paul says what he writes are the commandments of the Lord (just don’t read Joel 2:28-29 nor Acts 2:17). It is a commandment that they stay silent and not to teach or use authority over the man. Jesus said if you love me keep my commandments. These women that teach and preach do not love God according to the Bible. Ya what’s the point in reading Gods word if you’re not going to live by it? Paul said the words that I write are the commandments of the Lord. He wrote that a women should be silent in the church and not to teach or use authority over the man. When a women is teaching or preaching its not being silent and it just shows the rest of us that she doesn’t love Christ because Christ said if you love me keep my commandments. The same book that tells her to be silent is the same book God is going to judge her with in the last days.
Name Withheld has openly assaulted Discernmentalists as he has stated: “Instead of fretting over a non-issue how about being concerned with the wrath of God.” Name Withheld should know better than that as a fellow Discernmentalist—he should already know that in order to show God’s wrath and expose our Doctrine to all we must fret over every little thing. Clearly Satan is hiding around the corner and in every minuscule little thing that we personally disapprove of. We must make an issue out of every “non-issue” and make non-essentials essential as that’s the very heart of the Gospel of Discernmentalism.
And making mountains out of molehills is our specialty as Deborah of Discerning The World (DTW) has passed this spiritual gift of worldly attack and circular arguments on to us which we have far since surpassed her in our “special” gifted-ness and self-righteous anointing.
Many well-known and greatly esteemed preachers and teachers have absolutely no qualms whatsoever about their association with some of the weirdest, worst and most dangerous false prophets in these last days’ of exponential apostasy. Here are a few well-documented examples.
STEPHAN JOUBERT: In cahoots with Leonard Sweet, Rob Bell, Ron Martoia, Johan Geyser, Trevor Hudson, Nelus Niemandt, Eugene Peterson and Jan van der Watt, to name but a few.
JOHAN GEYSER: In cahoots with Stephan Joubert, Thomas Keating, Leonard Sweet, Rob Bell, Ron Martoia, Trevor Hudson, Thomas Merton and other false teachers in the mystically engineered Emergent Church, to name but a few.
TREVOR HUDSON: In cahoots with Stephan Joubert, Johan Geyser, Theo Geyser (who manages to see Jesus in a sangoma/witch doctor without the help of his glasses), Thomas Keating (who in turn is in cahoots with the integral guru, Ken Wilber), Ron Matroia and Rob Bell, to name but a few.
Obviously Name Withheld is lacking a steady diet of good Truth Warrior Worrier Discernment ministries like ours and Discerning The World (DTW)‘s. One word of warning to Name Withheld: “hell is real; hell is hot”—so either get in line; take a stand and get right with us first or else.
Once again setting our high standard over everyone so get over it,
Don Jobson
Update: Name Withheld continues his attack—defends Spurgeon against Deborah and our CLEAR Teachings.
How do you correlate your belief that it is wrong for MacArthur to tell you to go home when the Bible specifically says “suffer not a woman to be heard in church, if she has questions let her ask her husband” and the verse about woman not being allowed to teach, because it is the woman who was deceived?
These are not the only verses relating to this. The qualities of an overseer preclude women, Paul says women shall be saved through childbirth, Paul says men are the glory of God and women are the glory of man, Paul didn’t even want young widows to serve other widows. He said to marry them off so they don’t cause trouble.
Repent, lest you be judged by God guilty of false teaching, leading astray his sheep, and the harming of children.
“Instead, MacArthur’s statements revealed that he considers my experience, my life, to be at best irrelevant, and at worst an abomination when it comes to the interpretation of the faith.” Self seeking, victim worshipping trash
The latest threat against our Gospel of Total Depravity and the taint of Original Sin in all of Creation from the Purpose Seeker Driven Emergence Quasi-Universalist Cult of Liberal Christianity is plant worship. Yes plant worship! How dare these purpose seekers deny the Total Depravity of Creation and the stain of Original Sin in all of nature by confessing their sins in the midst of plants.
Its as if they truly believe that God is everywhere and in all things as per Romans 8:18-30 so:
Anyways we have reason to suspect Rob Bell is behind this latest threat as he already believes shaking hands with the Pope saves you so why not add praying to plants via guilt by association in the growing list of his many heresies.
From the research our robot monkey’s have made, our over generalizations, and laissez au faire attitude to research we have found that we think Eric Barger’s Take A Stand Ministries believes discernmentalism should embrace these qualities….and so do we!
We also believe in a lax attitude towards true research.
* Presumption over Truth
Put bluntly, the Discernmentalists is a complete definition of true discernment. It is unquestionably about using untruth to defend truth. We believe in absolutes because we are secret modernists….but that is ok because we love the bible with absolute certainty. Moreover without intentional misquotes we discernmentalists cannot look like champions of truth! In fact, misinformation is the best way to safe-guard God’s truth.
Remember, discernmentalist truth fears investigation….just believe us instead!
In a new game of discernmentalist fun, Nahtzee is fun for the whole family. In this game you will learn to roll the dice to promote war, fear and characterize immigrants as the cause of all sorts of problems. Rolling numbers like sixes and threes will allow you to advance aggressive foreign policy against poor third world nations and justify it as Christian, Biblical and Scriptural. Moreover, numbers like 2 and 5 will promote greater peace and security by denying the rights of other players in this game. Getting a number ten will allow you to berate and chastise red-letter Christians for being communist. Finally, getting the number four and nine will give you “national security” privileges preventing you from getting caught cheating, lying or any immoral act. Bad will be good, and good will be bad.
Using these carefully crafted techniques will allow a truely biblical discernmentalist to spin truth as he sees fit…and to use it as needed.
So Radical Islam watch out, we discernmentalists don’t like facts, or the real truth…and history is a nuisance. We support imperialism, power and wealth (and have bible verses we cherry pick to support it) as long as the brute force to enforce and support this infrastructure is not aimed at us. We like scapegoats here and abroad as long as we are not the scapegoats. Other than the facade of civility of our civilization, our backroom dealings with other nations is sometimes similar to Radical Islam….but thankfully we have GREAT PR! Thank-you MEDIA….oops I mean thank-you Liberal Media (because we know that corporate media is on our side!)
Radical Islam, sit tight, and wait for our good-guy-bombs to fall on you to make everything right. You see because we are the good guys, that makes you the bad guys. We can do evil, and call it good, because we are the west…and we have good PR….when you do evil we call it evil. That is the diference between good guys and bad guys. Good luck…in the most biblical sense possible!
Discernmentalists’ Discernmentalized Version of the Ratburn wedding episode of Arthur
Discernmentalists around the web have banded together to stop the assault on our Biblical marriages by fictional gay cartoon rats as we’ve already explained: Here and Here. So in keeping with our Discernmentalist traditions—we’ve decided to release a newly ghey and Canadian-free discernmentalized version of said “controversial” Arthur episode. Dr. Truthslayer has assured me that he has rounded up an all hetero white Conservative Bible-believing American voice cast to make sure the voice acting is ghey free. Ken Ham has overseen the reanimation process so that no lines may tempt viewers into becoming ghey. Dr. I. Todyaso has written an impeccable script and a PSA that will show at both the beginning and the end of the episode.
In our new discernmentalized version of this episode—suspected Sintologist Franklin Graham will voice act the Minister that will Biblically marry Mr. Ratburn to a Mrs. Ratburn instead of a Mr. Whocares. After the wedding Mr. Ratburn being a Bible-believing rat will assert his Male Headship over his new wife reminding her that her place is at home in the kitchen making his dinner and baby rats. On weekends when he’s not forcing doing Bible-based stuff with his new wife or doing his job to support and protect her through his 401k Elementary school teaching career—he’ll give Brain extra credit assignments just so he can get Brain alone so he can preach the Gospel of God’s Wrath to that smart-aleck atheist sinner.
The next half of the episode will feature Mr. Ratburn teaching the kids of Lakewood Elementary the Bible-believing values of picketing abortion clinics. Francine will accuse her garbage-collecting dad of being a liberal Environmentalist in league with an Emergent Global Warming cult. The kids will out Muffy as a closeted anti-American commie for writing a blog that sounds suspiciously liberal: Muffington Post. {Edit: We would make another joke but we’ve erased all the gheyness from this originally abominable episode}. In the end Brain will finally get regenerated and accept his salvation through Mr. Ratburn’s preaching of the Law of the Angry Sovereign God of Wrath through a Way of the Master: “Are you a good person?” test. Afterwards Mr. Ratburn forces Brain to do a book report on Ray Comfort* Hell’s Best Kept Secret—Brain then agrees that bananas prove that Evolution is a myth invented by liberally socialistic atheist scientists as well as Global Warming. The End?
{*- Note: Ray Comfort’s lawyer made us sign a non-disclosure agreement so we can’t tell you that when he heard about our project he begged us to let him be a part of it and to let us let him plug his book and ways of evangelism through guilt and fear. Also Kirk Cameron and Candace Cameron-Bure’s as well so we can’t tell you that Kirk Cameron is voicing the Brain; Candace is voicing Francine as well as Muffy and Mrs. Ratburn/all the girl parts (so we could cut costs—we also pay her less); and Ray of course is voicing Mr. Ratburn.}
“Finally an animated anthropomorphic animal marriage for True Bible-believers and a great Bible-believing episode of Arthur. This is entertainment as it’s meant to be—a fight on the leftist assault on our values, eyes and ears— please consider a large donation to the Online Discernmentalist Mafia to help us continue our good fight on fictional gay characters like cartoon rats.”—Activist Mommy after viewing a donors’ only sneak preview of the newly discernmentalized version of the “controversial” Arthur episode.
Smocking Gun # 3- Both PPs participate in the war on women:
Babies conceived by rape and incest are made in the image of God as much as any other child. God knits the product of rape in his mother’s womb as carefully as he does the product of the marriage bed. Why should the heartbeats of certain babies, who have done no wrong themselves, be allowed to be snuffed out? Do the hearts of these unwanted children not beat just as true as wanted ones? Is it simply easier to pass the law without arguing about it protecting babies conceived in rape and incest? (PP)
Privacy and dignity are often cited in defense of buffer zone laws, which attempt to prevent pro-lifers from praying for or sharing the truth with women outside of abortion clinics. These buzz words are also used in fights against parental notification laws, because apparently notifying parents that their underage daughter is having an abortion is a violation of privacy. (PP)
Smocking Gun # 4- Both are said to be funded by George Soros. (More on that later).
These are just a few of the alt-facts our Research Robot Monkeys have discovered and we think that you’ll agree to agree with us that the mounting evidence speaks for itself. Our Research Robot Monkeys have found even more evidence but since we left them overworking their circuits overnight—we need to recharge their batteries. Stay tuned further evidence to come….
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Dude! This is a satire site!
Before you get all bent out of shape, please realize this is a satire site spoofing the so-called "discernment ministries" who deem themselves more worthy of Grace than the rest of us. So read and have fun! BTW, we are not against "good" discernment ministries that do actual real research and extend grace to others, only the bad ones.
There you go that settles it—though we must rebuke “Truth will set you free” for his incomplete Discernmentalism. Why stop there? Why not take it further—as we’ve already pointed out on God’s Only Inerrant Party that none of Jesus’ disciples were Gentiles—no not one. They were all Jews therefore only Jewish men are truly called to preach. We rebuke anyone who teaches otherwise as our Pope of all Truth John MacArthur (PBUH) is absolutely right but only teaches half of the Truth that will set you free. If ever I walk into a church and see a woman or Gentile at the pulpit I will leave and shake the dust off my feet. Not only that I’ll leave if they fail any point on our Scripture test about who is called to preach.
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