I agree with Don Jobson that there indeed was a demon-summoning at the Super Bowl as:
“I myself have been a forty-five year student of the satanically inspired, centuries-old conspiracy to use government, education, and media to destroy every vestige of Christianity within our society and establish a new world order. Having read at least fifty books on the Illuminati, I am convinced that it exists and can be blamed for many of man’s inhumane actions against his fellow man during the past two hundred years.”
It has come to my attention that several mockers have attacked the purity of our Pope of our Truth Wars John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.) with libel and slander to them I say repent. Don’t they know that bearing false witness is a sin and that the only way for a Christian to settle a disagreement with an offending person is to contact them in person with 2 or 3 witnesses? The Bible is CLEAR about this.
Where was I—oh yeah I was adding to Don Jobson’s excellent discernmentalization about a most offensive person—Taylor Swift’s friend Ice Spice and her sinisterly satanic and New Agey hand signs. What’s next…pagan mysticism…pornographic divination. Blasphemy! I hope this clears up what’s really going on.
Our Research Robot Monkeys have been working overtime observing Satan in all things worldly and apostate. Satan is everywhere—he’s under your bed; in your closet; on the TV; why he was even at the Super Bowl—Satan literally appeared right beside Taylor Swift as her friend Ice Spice (a Satanist as discernmentalized by discernmentalists through bible-based osmosis) began summoning demons through Satanic hand signs. (Parents you might want to buy an ODM-endorsed mind-eraser if any of your kids saw those sinisterly satanic hand signs —they might want to imitate them and then you’ll have a summoned demon in your home and that’ll be bad cause you’ll have to call an Exorcist which is even worse as they might try to convert you to Catholicism (which is against our Clear Teachings against such). Mostly because Catholics are extra-sinisterly satanic as they celebrate Popish pagan Devil days like Christmas; Easter and Valentine’s —-which is also against our Clear Teachings against such.
In fact, we hate anything fun with a commendable hatred and so should you because fun is of the Devil.) This is all true and not anything any man made up to profit through ignorant fear-mongering by a biblical counselor trying to coerce a already married patient into marrying him, It’s true Satan Wants You and is coming for your kids through flying witches and UFO ALIEN SPacecraft and will rape them along with Chuck Norris—in fact we’ve heard that spreading Chuck Norris memes is how THey get your kids. Many people are saying… believe us. We know as we’ve been keeping track of the occult for years so Keep spreading the fear and conspiracy theories! Our Angry Sovereign God of Absolute Wrath will not be mocked!!
Protecting the children through fear and paranoia,
Discernmentalists we’re under attack as always—this time by Taylor Swift who was observed through osmosis at that worldly and sinisterly satanic Super Bowl by our Research Robot Monkeys. Taylor was caught red-handed chugging down beer. Sheer Blasphemy and this is who is supposed to be a role model for our youth. For shame—America’s youth is doomed! My affectionate Uncle and mentor the late Ken Silva who was mentored through listening to Walter Martin’s cassette tapes would be horrified as well as the Pope of our Truth War John MacArthur (P.B.U.H). Nay! I say they need to be more like Martin Luther* and less like beer-drinking Taylor Swift and her potty-mouthed boyfriend.
Observe all the doctrines of grace I taught you—Sola Scriptura,
Dr. I. Todyaso, Pastor-Teacher to the True Remnant
*- “You should rightly be called lawyers for asses.”—From On the Councils and the Church, pg. 158 of Luther’s Works, Vol. 41
Thumbs Down: he’s still one of THEM (the satanic socialist Woke communist NWO fascist GLOBALIST PEDO Cabal of elites aka the Jews) as all we Qborons believed in collectivist unified droves yesterday—after all he loves avocado toast
All of our many enemies have been at it for years trying to pervert our airways with impure doctrines. It is imperative that we Discernmentalists hold fast to our beliefs that imperil these times. It has been brought to our attention many times that first it begins with the TV next cars soon candy and then THEY conquer our culture.
Note: TV=CRT; CRT is Critical Race Theory aka thinking in color instead of the black & white of Absolute Truth and CRT is a codename for Marxian socialism.
Thankfully you have True Discernmentalist ministries like ours who are the only ones capable of discernmentalizing these mighty truths or else our entire True Bible-believing America would be lost.
Taking a stand in the all-important battle in the Truth War against color candied chocolates and Woke TVs,
Twitter Files Revelation # 9: Get ready…loading: Elon Musk has now exposed Bigfoot proving that Bigfoot; the FBI; the CIA and the late, great Ken Silva (our affectionate uncle and mentor) all colluded in order to silence me from revealing his secret identity and further blessing the world in knowing the person behind the greatest discernmentalist site in all of history behind ours—of course! This is Major NEWS—why isn’t the Media covering this instead of NFL False flags and crisis actors programmed to believe the holograms on the TV depicted an injured football player. I know all sports injuries are hoaxes because I’ve played football many times with John MacArthur (PBUH) and we’ve never once gotten injured. It must be because the Media is covering this up. All I can say is thanks to Elon Musk and the Twitter Files: Bigfoot is Toast!
Chastity Beltz (Pictured) protesting natural bodily functions
Church Busybody and all-around Know Nothing; Chastity Beltz, founder of the Right to Insemination is at it again—this time campaigning for further restrictions of rights pertaining to the natural functions of the human body. Her list of demands includes:
Making female menstruation illegal (unfertilized eggs is genocide—young ladies are killing innocent unborn life) the Bible gives legal precedence to imprisoning menstruators Lev. 15: 19
Making nocturnal emissions illegal (thou shall not spill thy seed— every day millions of unborn lives are murdered each night when young men have wet dreams)
Making it illegal for not just premarital couples but the old and infertile couples as well to have sex (sex is for procreation only not pleasure—the Bible is CLEAR on this: Gen. 1: 28) Infertile couples are murdering innocent unborn lives by not being fertile and post-menopausal women are violating the CLEAR TEACHING of the WHOLE BIBLE: Be fruitful and multiply as already stated sex is for procreators, not self-pleasurers
Time will tell if any of her demands are met by the Theocratic Court of America.
Amos Thugger arrested on charges of causing Covid related abortions
Ameicanstan (near future)- a group of pro-life anti-mask/anti-vaxxers including Amos Thugger were arrested today on charges of being accessories to the crime of involuntary abortion aka miscarriage. The police explain that this was necessary because the current understanding of post-Roe rulings is that bodily autonomy is no longer legally protected so therefore refusal to wear a mask and/or get vaxxed during a pandemic is now a crime. Even more so now that refusing to wear a mask and/or get vaxxed has been deemed being abortifacient vis-a-vis causing the spread of Covid-19 thereby causing involuntary abortions aka miscarriage. Under post-Roe readings of the law, miscarriages have now been deemed illegal to save the Justice System the hassle of determining whether an abortion is involuntary (miscarriage) or voluntary—and anything or anyone that causes an involuntary abortion (miscarriage) is deemed the instrument of the crime/accessory to the crime. Police were able to trace a direct link to “maskless” and “unvaccinated” Amos causing a 10 yr old girl (his niece) that he raped to miscarry after contracting Covid-19 using medical records. Amos is expected to serve a 5 yr prison sentence followed by community service—his 10 yr. old niece is now on Death Row on the charge of murder.
Even Franklin Graham noted Sintologist and Agenda 21 proponent has fallen for the sissified Fake News propaganda and disingenuous narrative of the Woke effeminate known Leftist rag The Gospel Coalition. God is a Capitalist said so—so it must be true:
… the evangelical left represented by CT, The Gospel Coalition and David French are less than 10% of evangelicals and his audience is a puny fraction of the SBC. The only people who care about his jeremiads are those who hate Christians, like the Atlantic. Moore justifies their hatred.
Besides that Vlad is our friend—Trump said so—so that settles it. Boom! Just because governments have always done bad things for all time doesn’t mean Putin’s GOVERNMENT is doing Bad thinGs now that would be crazy!*
Russia isn’t a threat—it’s the Chinese. It’s always the Chinese. The Chinese gave me a bad fortune in my fortune cookie. The Chinese gave me an extra egg roll in my order. The Chinese helped me with my homework. The Chinese got the grease stains off my coat and tie. The Chinese bred my dog. The Chinese clogged my toilet. The Chinese stole my lunch at work. The Chinese didn’t return my bicycle. The Chinese were polite and quiet in the library. The Chinese got a promotion before me. The Chinese played the violin immaculately at my child’s recital and got first prize while my child came in last.
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Dude! This is a satire site!
Before you get all bent out of shape, please realize this is a satire site spoofing the so-called "discernment ministries" who deem themselves more worthy of Grace than the rest of us. So read and have fun! BTW, we are not against "good" discernment ministries that do actual real research and extend grace to others, only the bad ones.
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