The Sickness in Discernmentalist Ministries

Become  a part of the Deformed and Discernmentalist Southern Baptist unTwitterati Cabal today by mocking those who have fallen gravely ill. We are now accepting applicants. If you feel the current evangelical leadership (JD Greear, Russell Moore, Al Molher, Beth Moore, Tim Keller, etc.) are becoming evil libruls because they’re starting to acknowledge the existence of racial disparities in the criminal justice system—you’ll fit right in with us.

Just like Pastor Gabe we Discernmentalists believe sickness is a symptom of lifelong sin. We also believe we should be discernmentalizing 24/7—finding a new heretic of the week:

As a former news-junkie, I’ve often lamented the advent of 24/7 news. It has done more harm to journalism than any school of journalism (with all of their agendas) could have ever accomplished. Today, 24/7 news has created a feeding frenzy around every speculation, hearsay, possible motive, or misspoken word. The men and women formerly called journalists have an audience waiting to hear something new, and the industry demands that our network get it out before your network. So, rather than well-researched facts, so-called journalists are spitting out every kind of agenda-based opinion, to the point that fake news has become “a thing.” Have you notice how many “breaking news alerts” you hear on the 24/7 news channels? Events that have been scheduled for weeks are “breaking news.” Why the hyperbole? It is because of the feeding frenzy.

Discernment ministry has grown to this level as well. Those who have built their ministry around this work now have a constituency that they must feed. There is an expectation that the so-called discerners bring forth a new heretic of the week. After all, we already know about the other heretics, we’ve left their teaching, we are bored with them, and we’ve already posted the warnings on social media. But this is a new day, and discernment ministries have an empty blog and a silent podcast to fill.

The world is full of liberal sickos and they’re all out to get us. We’d like to thank Pastor Gabe for helping us spread the Discernmentalist Gospel.

China’s Official “Protestant” Church Helps Persecute True Believers While American Believers Complicit in Supporting Invasion In Iraq Ruled OK

Our faithful Truth Warriors spreading our ways…SOL News

SOL Blast from the Past News Reprints— Slice of Laodicea recently sent reports to China to investigate the Official Protestant Church in China that seeks to persecute true believers. SoL notes “Maybe Franklin Graham can explain his own widely hailed participation with the communist “church” when he preached at a communist “megachurch” back in May of 2008.” ODMafia however was excited that so many evangelicals backed the capitalistic government of America by providing over 1 million Iraqi’s a free ticket to a grisly death thru bombs and mortars in the name of freedom and democracy. ODMafia’s expert robot research monkey’s were quoted as saying “we think that invasions of foreign lands and the maiming of others in the name of spreading democracy is bible approved….as long as it is us doing it and not the Iraqi’s.”

 We at the Online Discernmentalist Mafia approve of any and all invasions of foreign countries as long as it is OUR side that is doing the invading and destroying…because it is bible based!…and they are wretched unbelievers!

Breaking: Emergents now attacking Truth Warriors with Psychic Powers!

Oh the horror! Recently one of our Research Robot Monkeys noted that Emergents are now hiring psychics in a last ditch effort to undermine the Absolute Truth and Certainty of the Truth Wars. We here at the ODMafia can’t say we didn’t see this coming from a mile away as we know Emerging emergers love their mystical webs of confusion. Emergents also love Mystery over Certainty as well as coffee; candles and couches—but they’ve yet to be observed in the presence of garlic. We also have reason to suspect that these Emerging vampires have merged with Mothra feminists in order to ramp up their newly found psychic abilities in order to assault unsuspecting Truth Warriors in the field of battle for our Truth. Other noted ODMs are now in the midst of battling for our Truth—researchmentalizing new techniques in Spiritual Warfare to curb these assaults.

Is this One of The Bibliophiles that Ray Comfort warned us about?

Bibliophile in the midst of his sinister act

We’ve already apprised you on God’s Only Inerrant Party that while he was working with us on our de-sinned Arthur episode that Ray Comfort warned us that Bibliophiles are the latest threat in the atheist assault on Bible-Believers. “If you call any other Christian on this page a ‘bibliophile’ I will ban you. I thought it was just another atheist insult, a cross between pedophile and Bible.”—Ray Comfort. Its worse than that though as our Herescopes have discovered a more sinister definition of Bibliophiles that is not an atheist insult.

Recently our Research Robot Monkey spies using our Herescopes have observed a Bibliophile in the midst of the act that fits our newly discovered definition: “a book lover (most likely atheists ie. Disney) assaulting our children with strange books or their love of books. Librarians are also suspect in this.” [This is why we’ve forbidden our wives and children from going to the library or even looking at one (even our own Discernmentalist libraries)].

Mrs. Truthslayer and Mrs. Jobson wanted us to add that not only are these strange books but they are scary as well—after hearing us talk about some of these strange and heretical Emergent books we’ve been discernmentalizing. They have no other choice as they agree with us in our Doctrines. They contain such scary information that we can only flee in horror—fearing and quaking in terror from only briefly glancing at it. In fact our wives were heard screaming as they heard us talking about the spiritually terrorizing information contained within these apostate Emergent books—information such as:

• “I see the world through the images of Christianity, which teaches me that I encounter God in everyone I meet regardless of what they believe.”—Alan Jones
• “Since the church has been one of the main perpetrators of parental fear-mongering, it’s only fair we take up the cause of creating a culture of parenting that is less about what we don’t want for our children and more about what we do want.”—Doug Pagitt

We suspect this is part of the reason that Ray Comfort considers Bibliophile an atheist insult. We too consider it an insult after researchmentalizing this vulgar word even further which is why we had to add it to the Second Volume of our Discermentalist Dictionary. Setting the record straight we Online Discernmentalists thankfully are not—I repeat not Bibliophiles—let alone book-lovers but we do love our Bible! On a related note: we’re now offering a special sale on some of our favorite Discernmentalist books.

Books we especially love most of all:

• Truth Wars: Fighting for our certainty in an age of deception (the book that stared it all)
• Hell best kept secrets (taught us fear and guilt evangelism)

Church of England secretly in love with Rome

Abomination Nation, one of our favourite discernmentalists for both researchmentalism, insights, and objectivity has observed the following startling conclusion “…among others. Lewis was a member of the apostate Church of England, an institution whose history is based largely on theological compromise with Rome.” You read correct folks HISTORICALLY a theological compromise with Rome.

The ODMAFIA fully endorses both theological and historical ignorance as a guise for discernmentalism. I will note a few of the 39 Articles to which Abomination has clearly never read that purport to be Romish sympathies in no particular order:

Article XXII: Of Purgatory

The Romish Doctrine concerning Purgatory, Pardons, Worshipping, and Adoration as well of Images as of Reliques, and also invocation of Saints, is a fond thing vainly invented, and grounded upon no warranty of Scripture, but rather repugnant to the Word of God.

Article XXVIII: Of the Lord’s Supper

Excerpt: Transubstantiation (or the change of the substance of Bread and Wine) in the Supper of the Lord, cannot be proved by holy Writ; but is repugnant to the plain words of Scripture, overthroweth the nature of a Sacrament, and hath given occasion to many superstitions.

Article XXXII: Of the Marriage of Priests

Bishops, Priests, and Deacons, are not commanded by God’s Law, either to vow the estate of single life, or to abstain from marriage: therefore it is lawful for them, as for all other Christian men, to marry at their own discretion, as they shall judge the same to serve better to godliness.

Article XX: Of the Authority of the Church

The Church hath power to decree Rites or Ceremonies, and authority in Controversies of Faith: And yet it is not lawful for the Church to ordain anything contrary to God’s Word written, neither may it so expound one place of Scripture, that it be repugnant to another. Wherefore, although the Church be a witness and a keeper of holy Writ, yet, as it ought not to decree any thing against the same, so besides the same ought it not to enforce any thing to be believed for necessity of Salvation.

Article XVIII: Of obtaining eternal Salvation only by the Name of Christ

They also are to be had accursed that presume to say, That every man shall be saved by the Law or Sect which he professeth, so that he be diligent to frame his life according to that Law, and the light of Nature. For holy Scripture doth set out unto us only the Name of Jesus Christ, whereby men must be saved.

We commend our readers to IGNORE the Anglican Articles of Faith (see above) and stick to mythology sort of like Abomination Nation does. Since we fully endorse spurious research and conclusions please keep indulging yourself with such ministries….clearly the Church of England is a ROMISH sympathizer as historically stated.

We at ODMAFIA do the research so that YOU don’t have to think!

Breaking: Rick Warren Reemerges with Purpose… Seeker-Driven Machine!

Rick Warren’s new Seeker-Driven All Purpose Machine of Doom

Truth War Digest- An Old Enemy Reemerges with a New Threat:

Recently our Rick Warren Threat level alarms were alerted to a new sinister Purpose-Driven Seeker plot by the sinfully-ecumenical purposeful pope of all things seeker-driven-ness against our Clear Teachings that life just like the church must be as purposeless and terrible as possible. Just listen to this hideously apostate and heretical quote: “Through his Word, God helps you to see life through a different perspective. Psalm 119:105 says, “Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path” (NIV). God’s Word gives us direction in life; it shows us the path God wants us on.”—Rick Warren

Elsewhere Todd Friel (Wretched) [who only wishes he were half the discernmentalist as we are—otherwise he would have detected Warren’s new hideously apostate Seeker-Driven Purpose machine before we did] has discernmentalized:

Friel highlights comments made by Warren in a conversation between him and the Orange County Bishop Kevin Vann which he says were way too ‘ecumenical’ and lacked distinction between the two strands of the Christian faith.

“The Roman Catholic Church has led so many people away from truth,” says Friel. “We committed to pray for each other,” said Warren about his growing friendship with the Bishop. “I’m sorry, I wouldn’t ask a Roman Catholic to pray for me,” responds Friel. “Those prayers are not being heard especially if they are offered to a saint or to Mary.”

We know God doesn’t listen to the prayers of anyone unless they believe in our Doctrine first and that none of our Godly ministries have purposes nor are they seeker-driven. This is why we must call all our Truth Warriors to unite around our Doctrine and help us take a stand and put down and submerge Rick Warren’s new threat of a sinisterly sinfully-ecumenical (against our Clear Teachings against such) seeker-driven machine of purpose.

Farewell again @John Piper!

The push of the social gospel is now reaching even those who have been staunch supporters of the work we do here at ODMafia. Our beloved and revered under leader of reformed theology, John Piper, has slipped the tracks. Abandoning the true faith for the man pleasing Gospel of Shane Claiborne. In the following video you will hear Pastor Piper declare to the “Young, Restless, and Reformed” crowd to not waste their lives on retirement. Instead he admonishes them to consider; clean water, homeless people, and the needy:

I too like my fellow Discernmentalists am becoming so tired of hearing people in the church talking about being on the social justice committee. There is a difference between justice and social justice! For one Social Justice is cultural marxism and every church needs to get on the same page and disavow themselves from using this leftest marxist terminology and simply call their churches work justice, plain and simple! Secondly Social justice sounds too like Satan’s doctrine: socialism…and you don’t clink glass with the devils cohort’s or entertain the devils terminology even when it sound all warm and fuzzy. “Idiots”!!!!

Are any of our Doctrines and fellow Reformed types safe from being perverted by the heretical hordes? Finally my faithful Truth Warriors I leave you this quote from our Beloved Over-leader John MacArthur (PBUH):

aspects of true justice are conspicuously missing from the recent evangelical dialogue touting “social justice.” Instead, what we hear is an echo of the same accusatory rhetoric and political slogans being shouted by secular social justice warriors. That fact ought to awaken the Berean urge in every Christian.