Discernmentalists we’re under attack as always—this time by Taylor Swift who was observed through osmosis at that worldly and sinisterly satanic Super Bowl by our Research Robot Monkeys. Taylor was caught red-handed chugging down beer. Sheer Blasphemy and this is who is supposed to be a role model for our youth. For shame—America’s youth is doomed! My affectionate Uncle and mentor the late Ken Silva who was mentored through listening to Walter Martin’s cassette tapes would be horrified as well as the Pope of our Truth War John MacArthur (P.B.U.H). Nay! I say they need to be more like Martin Luther* and less like beer-drinking Taylor Swift and her potty-mouthed boyfriend.
Observe all the doctrines of grace I taught you—Sola Scriptura,
Dr. I. Todyaso, Pastor-Teacher to the True Remnant
*- “You should rightly be called lawyers for asses.”—From On the Councils and the Church, pg. 158 of Luther’s Works, Vol. 41
John MooreJonas, as I have said many times, MOST churches preach a “SINNING CHRISTIAN” GOSPEL that neither Jesus nor His Father have any part in!
And as David Wilkerson said some 30 years ago “I believe there are entire denominations that GOD HAS LEFT!”
At the time Bro Wilkerson made that statement I thought he may have been a little over the top! However, since then I see I WAS VERY WRONG!
Now, if you think that sinning doesn’t separate you from God, then that’s up to you. But the only Biblical character who taught such a belief was Lucifer!
So this is the reason I posted what I did. Hopefully, people in such churches will, like the prodigal son, “COME TO THEIR SENSES” and return to their Father!
Praise the sovereignty of the commendable hatred of the Great angry God of our Truth War Doctrine! We are angry that more so-called Christians would celebrate Rosa Parks’ fight for social justice than there are True Christians celebrating the great and Godly work of Oliver Cromwellin committing genocide.
Stand or fall I know there Shall be peace in the valley And it’s all an affair Of my life with the heroes and villains
She will be remembered and touted as the female hero of 1955 who stood against injustice and one who possessed the courage, the intestinal fortitude to stand defiantly against an ungodly law of segregation; a woman who had ‘rights’ as a human being, and demanded, in her own quiet way, to have them.
Political correctness and multiculturalism stinks on some days worse than others. This is one of them. I’ll make this short.
Rosa Parks broke the law, and what happened? She received decades of accolades and a state funeral, earned Presidential/Gubernatorial proclamations ordering flags at half-staff.
Think about this. This woman broke the law, and yet, after she died:
Her funeral was 7 hours long, broadcast on television.
She laid “in state” in the U.S. Capitol Rotunda, making her the first woman and second Negro ever to receive this honor, and an estimated 50,000 people walked by and viewed her casket.
She is honored for breaking a law. We are a nation of laws. Right or wrong, citizens must obey the laws of this land – unless those laws cause us to disobey God in His written Word. There are legal ways to make amends of unjust laws, and procedures to follow. Rosa Parks light-minded defiance of the laws of the land is a poor, even sinful example, and should not be held up as a courageous act, unless you want to talk about sinning courageously. (Source: 5ptSalt)
We at the ODMafia proudly salute 5ptsht in keeping up our noble war for John MacArthur’s war for against Truth (PBUI)—and helping us vilify heroes and celebrate villains. May our Truth War for God’s Holy Wrath prevail!
ON SALE NOW FOR 2+2 DOLLARS: THAT’S ONLY $10 A REAL VALUE!
Dr. Paul McCain continues to allow his emotions to skew his exegesis of Scripture when he disagrees with Discernmentalists’ misinterpretation of: “Here is the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world!” In fact we believe he isn’t Protestant at all just like Luther who as we all know began the Protestant Reformation. Many believe Luther was Reformed but as we’ve Discernmentalized Luther didn’t hold True to the Purity of Discernmentalist Doctrine as he shaved his beard off and celebrated Christmas and Easter also against our Clear Teachings on their Pagan Catholic origins. Dr. McCain is theologically suspect as well as he writes in Double Presdestination:
Ah, yes, the wonderfully reassuring Calvinist doctrine of God choosing some He
created to roast in hell.
Ok, kids, now get out your decoder rings, we
are going to read the Bible Calvinist style! Ready….here we go.
“All”
… dial in the code and you will see that really that word is “some”
“World” … dial in that code and you will see that word is really “some
of the world.”
You get the picture.
You see there he attacked the Truth of our Pure Doctrines. Thankfully we Discernmentalists have our Secret Decoder Rings handy so we know that all means some and world means Elect. We also have Discernmentalized through our rings that 2 +2=10. We wonder is Dr. McCain secretly a selachophile? Anyways you now can buy our Secret Decoder Rings—available at fine Discernmentalist stores in the US only! Never lack in knowing the right answer… always be prepared. Our Rings will make sure you hold True to the Right Doctrines! These Rings do so much more than change κόσμος (universe) to ἐκλεκτός (Elect)/ἐκκλησία (assembly) or πᾶς (all) to ὀλίγοι (few)—they also help Discernmentalists decode secret heresies within our many enemies. Never leave home without one…order soon limited quantities available…
Act now and receive one free with every copy of our Revised Discernmentalist Draft Codebook of Biblical Languages and get a free Truly Reformed Mathematics Cheat-book with every purchase for only 9 + 9 dollars: that’s a $18 value for only $12—Rings included!
We being good Bible-Believing Internet Discernmentalists believe Solo Scriptura and teach the whole Bible and only appeal to the whole Bible and no other sources nor let culture interpret the Bible as we appeal to our heroes who appeal to John Calvin (a source outside the Bible) who appealed to Saint Augustine (a Roman Catholic apostate and another source outside the Bible) and also secular/pagan philosophies such as neo-Platonic dualistic rationalism and an epistemology of Aristotelian logic (more sources outside the Bible) to bring you our important teachings on Sound Bible Doctrines.
John Calvin quoted Cicero constantly. The Puritans regularly appealed to both reason and nature as support for their Calvinism. I can’t count the number of times I’ve heard a Calvinist talk about “the freedom of God.” The Westminster Confession of Faith begins with describing God as the “fount of all being.”
Discernmentalists seem to be under the impression that Calvinism only comes from Scripture whereas every other theology is a collection of extra-biblical (cultural) arguments, and that’s so self-evidently false as to be literally ridiculous. EVERY theology musters up a combination of proof texts, logical extrapolations of varying quality, appeals to God’s character, etc. Calvinism has no objectively firmer grounding than Arminianism or any other school of theology. (In fact our favorite Bible-writer Saint Paul also appealed to cultural sources outside the Bible as well).
Now many Bible-ignorant heathens reject our Clear Teaching that we must follow the whole Bible and never any source outside the Bible because they’re corrupting Doctrine—but as we’ve shown it is important to follow the whole Bible and only the whole Bible without appealing to outside sources or letting culture interpret it and only we do that.
A keen-eyed (Ken-eyed) Discernmentalist pointed out to us that Art Garfunkel was observed preaching a Worldly Message at some Lutheran church. ReApprising Ministries the spiritual heirs of the late great Pastor-Teacher and our affectionate Uncle and mentor Ken Silva’s Apprising Ministries has issued a statement:
This time in which we find ourselves is one of rapid change, revisionist history and so-called “postmodernism.” Is it any wonder that people wonder what to believe, and even who they can trust? Today faithful believers in Christ face more and more pressure to be “politically correct” — which in the end is simply a mask for relativism. And while the nature of God, and the beautiful simplicity of His Gospel remain the same, the cornucopia of attacks leveled at our Lord’s Church by the enemy are increasingly fierce and constantly changing.
ReApprising has gone on to note that Art has stated: “I asked myself, does this rub against my Jewish background? I answered that if you sing you’re a little like an actor wearing various hats. I’m wearing a hat of respect for the Christian tradition.” (You see there he admits he’s a pretend Christian).
The Christian Research Network also of our late great affectionate Uncle Pastor-Teacher goes on: “Before we move on we must add a word of caution from blogger and author Tim Challies. Speaking on discernment in “How can I increase my spiritual discernment?” he wrote:
Some have mistakenly defined spiritual discernment as a God-given awareness of evil or good spiritual presences—the ability to tell if a demon is in the room. While some people may possess this capability, it is not the biblical meaning of discernment. Spiritual discernment ultimately has to do with wisdom and the ability to distinguish truth from error.
“The clouds roll with thunder, that the house of the Lord shall be built throughout the earth; and these frogs sit in their marsh and croak ‘We are the only Christians’!”–Saint Augustine on the Donatists
“So that whereas the Scriptures say that ‘God redeemed his church with his own blood,’ or that he was ‘made flesh;’ or whereas, in a consonancy thereunto, and to obviate the folly of Nestorius, who made two persons of Christ, the ancients called the blessed Virgin the Mother of God,–the intendment of the one and other is no more but that he was truly God, who in his manhood was a son, had a mother, did bleed and die. And such Scripture expressions we affirm to be founded in this ‘communication of properties,’ or the assignment of that unto the person of Christ, however expressly spoken of as God or man, which is proper to him in regard of either of these natures, the one or other, God on this account being said to do what is proper to man, and man what is proper alone to God, because he who is both God and man doth both the one and the other. By what expressions and with what diligence the ancients warded the doctrine of Christ’s personal union against both Nestorius and Eutyches, the one of them dividing his person into two, the other confounding his natures by an absurd confusion and mixture of their respective essential properties (Mr B. not giving occasion), I shall not farther mention.”—John Owen**
I hope this shows where we stand in the downgrading of Truth—thankfully we have our Beloved Pope (PBUH) to show us the way as he (PBUH) has passed his knowledge on to us. In fact Dr. Itodyaso once preached on this very subject:
We know that Discernmeentalists are the purest of all “reformed” groups. It has been evidenced that since 1961 the SBC is becoming more and more Reformed. That should prove the deep history of the effect Paedobaptiphobe Baptists have had on the Reformation since Luther hammered the 95 Theses to the Wittenberg Door and set the enslaved celibate priests free to marry and drink beer (though Luther’s beer was non alcoholic as Jesus’ wine was!!).
We know the truth will set you free and we freely set it free so we can protect it and use it as a weapon against anyone that does not agree with us and our doctrines. Our weapons of spiritual warfare are not carnal but they are out of our doctrinal beliefs and out of correct beliefs. If you do not believe as we do then you are just guilty and worthy of our attack in the Name of our wrathful and angry God who hates sinners. We know that this type of belief is hard, yet we must not let easy believism corrupt the church. We must make it as hard as we can for someone to be saved by us via John MacArthur’s “doctrines” of Grace. So help us to help John (PBUH) spread the downgrade of our Truth for “to come to knowledge of Truth is to be Saved.”
Don Jobson, Self-Proclaimed Ordained Gatekeeper and Defender of Truth; Pastor-Teacher-Ruling Elder over the Entire Congregation of the True Remnant of all of our Cyber-Brethern in Arms in the Truth War
*– “Great preacher Charles Spurgeon described “soul-winning [as] the chief business . . . of every true believer.” Step into soul-winning boot camp today with John MacArthur on “Grace to You,” as he studies the lifesaving mission God calls you to.”
**– “John Owen was a pastor-theologian of the Puritan era who understood sin. He really understood it. In his little book, The Mortification of Sin, a tremendous gift to the church, he wrote, “It is to be feared that very many Christians have little knowledge of the main enemy that they carry about with them in their hearts.””—John MacArthur
Prophetess ELSandi Discernment News Briefs (Outside El Paso)- Last night around 6pm an unnamed Discernmentalist got a knock at his door—answering it he was greeted by a young female. “Hello;” she said: “have you a minute to spare—are you a good person? Do you know where you’ll be if you die tonight? Do you know Jesus as your Lord and Savior? I have a few Bible verses I’d like to share with you.” “Be gone Satan and go home—don’t you know that a woman’s place is at home submitting to her husband’s divine authority? God appointed the role of sharing the Gospel/all information about Himself to men only. Besides that the True Gospel is that God made Jesus as a Penal Substitute to satisfy His unquenchable wrath yet our Sovereign God still remains angry so angry with a commendable hatred and unsatisfied wrath towards sinners (which we must imitate) that He threatens to throw as many people into hell as possible—all out of His Great Pleasure and good purposes of course. We rejoice at the destruction of the pre-damned wicked reprobates aka Papists; RINOs; Lutherans and Semi-Pelagian Armenian heretics and will dip our toes in their blood and dance to celebrate their final end. Our Angry Sovereign God is so good and worthy of worship! If you can’t handle the Hard Truths of the Bible like rejoicing at your non-Elect grandma who prayed the Rosary one time roasting in hell for all eternity and that a woman’s place is to be a silent doormat for men then you were never saved to begin with and most likely a False Convert.”—the unknown Discernmentalist said—angrily slamming the door in the female Evangelist’s face and turning her away. The final remarks of that unnamed Discernmentalist were overheard through the door cracks by passersby: “The nerve of that woman Having the Audacity to Preach the Gospel and Help People.”
We are glad that our baptisms are as meaningless and purposeless as our lives are suppose to be as truly baptism doesn’t save. We are thankful that God has gifted us in this last generation of the End Times with the Greatest Living Teacher of the True Word of God—our very own Protestant Pope of The Truth War—John MacArthur (PBUH) who has come around to correct through Sola Scriptura the Protestant Reformation’s fore-father Martin Luther—the very founder of Sola Scriptura himself 500 years after the fact. Quote:
Faith and repentance are not easy. Submission contradicts the natural disposition of the human heart. And the transforming and sanctifying work of the Holy Spirit is often uncomfortable and difficult.
Salvation would be so much more inviting and enticing to our human understanding if it didn’t require humility, repentance, and the transformation of your entire being. Why can’t it simply be the product of a one-time activity?
For those looking to bypass the difficulty and discomfort of salvation, 1 Peter 3:21 seemingly provides a shortcut in the form of this simple declaration: “Baptism now saves you.” This and a select few other verses are often used to promote “baptismal regeneration”–the view that teaches that one is saved (regenerated) though water baptism. …This interpretation is not true to the facts of Scripture. Throughout the book of Acts, forgiveness is linked to repentance, not baptism.
Discernmentalists rejoice—our Truth War finally has a hymn we can get behind. Hymn #1984 from The Truth War Hymnal—the only known Absolute hymnal for Bible-Believing Conservatives and Internet Discernmentalists everywhere. Here is the version sung by the Internet Discernmentalist Men’s Choir from their hit debut album Hymns Of The Truth War:
JESUS HATES YOU
BY AUGUSTUS TOPLADY XIII, Esquire
Jesus hates you! This We know
For Fatalistic Pre-determinism tells us so
Little ones created just to destroy
All for the sake of God’s Sovereign Jealous joy!
Yes, Jesus hates you
Yes, Jesus hates you
Yes, Jesus hates you
And His Sovereign Wrath abide upon you too
Jesus loves We Truth Warriors, we will win!
For we can’t fall away by sin.
Can’t resist His grace, it’s true,
Died for us but not for you.
Yes, Jesus hates you
Yes, Jesus hates you
Yes, Jesus hates you
And His Sovereign Wrath abide upon you too
All Spiritualizing is just fine.
His body’s trapped at God’s right hand,
Way far off Christ takes His stand
Yes, Jesus loves me
Well, maybe He loves me
I sure hope He loves me
I guess I’ll never know!
Jesus loves me! Where is He?
Up in heaven, can’t you see?
Can’t be sure where I will go
Jesus little lamb, or no?
Yes, Jesus loves me
Well, maybe He loves me
I sure hope He loves me
I guess I’ll never know!
Never pictures will I see,
No vain images for me!
Tear the paintings off the wall,
Trash them, kick them down the hall.
Yes, Jesus loves me
Well, maybe He loves me
I sure hope He loves me
I guess I’ll never know!
Principles that regulate,
All our worship, ain’t they great?
Even if we aren’t too sure,
Which points really are secure.
Yes, Jesus loves me
Well, maybe He loves me
I sure hope He loves me
I guess I’ll never know!
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Dude! This is a satire site!
Before you get all bent out of shape, please realize this is a satire site spoofing the so-called "discernment ministries" who deem themselves more worthy of Grace than the rest of us. So read and have fun! BTW, we are not against "good" discernment ministries that do actual real research and extend grace to others, only the bad ones.