The latest threat against our Gospel of Total Depravity and the taint of Original Sin in all of Creation from the Purpose Seeker Driven Emergence Quasi-Universalist Cult of Liberal Christianity is plant worship. Yes plant worship! How dare these purpose seekers deny the Total Depravity of Creation and the stain of Original Sin in all of nature by confessing their sins in the midst of plants.
Its as if they truly believe that God is everywhere and in all things as per Romans 8:18-30 so:
Anyways we have reason to suspect Rob Bell is behind this latest threat as he already believes shaking hands with the Pope saves you so why not add praying to plants via guilt by association in the growing list of his many heresies.
“As a Christian, my highest calling is not motherhood. As a Christian, my highest calling is to follow Christ.”~the late Rachel Held Evans (heretical liberal feminist Marxist Postmodern unbelieving apostate baby-killing promoter perverter of our Pure Gospel)
Now we all can agree with the Bible when it says to follow Christ and to hate the things of the world that we may place above Christ that prevent us performing our highest calling to follow Christ—but that’s the Bible. This is different as the above quote was uttered by a known heretic the late RHE (heretical liberal feminist) which makes it blasphemous as she is on record in attacking our Clear Teachings of Biblical Manhood and womanhood. In fact this quote is so blasphemously heretical that I’m now rereading a classic by Neo-Confederate rape-apologist Doug Wilson in order to counteract this feminist assault on our Pure Doctrines. My co-Truth Warrior Dr. Itodyaso had to reorder several copies of the Truth War and go back to hiding out in our Sanctification closet in order to re-perfect our humble Ministry of Bible-based Wrath and Disgust. Dr. Truthslayer has our Research Robot Monkeys researchmentalizing more Biblically-appropriate quotes such as these gems gleaned from Doug Wilson (Neo-Confederate rape-apologist)‘s A Conservative Arian LibertAryan Manifesto for Biblical Manhood and womanhood plus a defense of slavery:
“That our nation did not remove slavery in the way it ought to have been removed helps explain many of our nation’s problems in dealing with contemporary social evils. Those evils include abortion-on-demand, radical feminism, and rampant sodomy.” (Source)
“But women who genuinely insist on ‘no masculine protection’ are really women who tacitly agree on the propriety of rape. Whenever someone sets himself to go against God’s design, horrible problems will always result.” (Source)
“Slavery produced in the South a genuine affection between the races that we believe we can say has never existed in any nation before the War or since.”
“Slavery as it existed in the South was not an adversarial relationship with pervasive racial animosity. Because of its dominantly patriarchal character, it was a relationship based upon mutual affection and confidence. There has never been a multi-racial society which has existed with such mutual intimacy and harmony in the history of the world.”
“One could argue that the black family has never been stronger than it was under slavery. It was certainly stronger under the southern slave system that it is today under our modern destructive welfare state.”
“Ironically, if slavery had not been so pleasant an experience for the majority, this mentality would not likely have such a strong hold upon the minds of some of their descendants today.”
“And nothing is clearer — the New Testament opposes anything like the abolitionism of our country prior to the War Between the States. The New Testament contains many instructions for Christian slave owners, and requires a respectful submissive demeanor for Christian slaves.”
“I agree that true and ultimate authority/submission must be grounded within the Godhead. I agree with (Wayne) Grudem there. Now someone will point out that they don’t see how it is possible to have “authority and submission within the Godhead coupled with complete ontological equality” without that position logically entailing three wills, which would then be heterodox. I frankly confess that it would be heterodox, and that I don’t know how there can be anything resembling authority and submission with only one will. I get the problem. But I also don’t see, and on exactly the same grounds, how there can be anything like a Father and a Son with only one will. If I could do the math on this kind of thing, I would be a good deal richer than I am. So Fatherhood is ultimate, and Fatherhood is ad intra. The Fatherhood of the Father did not come into existence after the decision to create the world. It is not in any way dependent upon the decision to create the world. And so there should be no more difficulty in saying that the Son is eternally obedient than there is in saying that He is eternally begotten. His existence is obedience — eternal obedience, obedience that could not be otherwise. The Father’s existence is authority.” (Source)
We only pray that none may accidently fall upon that heretical quote by the late RHE (progressive Emergence radical femimarxist apostate Pastrix guru) and get corrupted into believing in such unbiblical ideas like equality. We do fear Miley Cyrus among others but when we pray Imprecatory prayers to our Angry Sovereign God for our sons’ and daughters’ possible salvation, the influence of Miley Cyrus is rarely (albeit not never) what we pray for God to protect them from is blasphemous quotes such as that one by the late RHE (Postmodern gay-enabler feminist heretic) above. We’re now praying this prayer of protection against our many enemies and their affronts on our Pure Gospel of Biblical Manhood and womanhood:
“Father, we pray that the angel of the Lord would chase them down. We pray that You would set for them a dark and slippery place, and that the angel of the Lord would persecute them there. They have hated us without any just cause at all, and they have devised all their plots without any good reason. We ask You therefore to rise up and defend us. Stand in the pass behind us, and lower Your spear against them. Turn them back from their wicked attacks. Rout them, we pray. Chase them like chaff in a stiff wind. We pray that You would string Your bow, sharpen Your sword, make ready all the instruments of death. Ordain Your arrows to fly against those who persecute the righteous. Make their mischief to roll back on their own impudent heads.”—Dr. ITodyaso
TruthScooper Times Reports— Recently discovered by Discernmentalists a new breed of the hideously heretically apostate Emerging hybrids—-a Semi-Pelagianese that was once thought to be extinct: Boogie-Foot. This four-eyed Romish unnatural perversion of God’s Holy Creation is said to be a close cousin of Bigfoot and is just one more of the ways in which the evil Emergent Babylonian hordes of Brian “Darn your soul to heck” McLaren’s apostate army stoops in order to eradicate Absolute Biblical Truth (as defined by our Truth War Pope). This hideous hybrid of Monocles and Synergy hypnotizes it’s victims with Contemplative chanting and the unholy flames of candlelight reminding all of it’s hellish origins and doctrines of demons. It chains it’s victims with the burden of Free Grace and a Freed Will towards charitable works. Rumors say it gravitates towards couches and dark roast coffee and other sinisterly Socialistic past times like soccer not to mention Sacher Tortes.
We were granted permission to help ODM Researchmentalists interview a survivor of a Boogie-Foot abduction who spun this mighty fine yarn:
Then they approached me, and I pissed my pants, literally. I am not ashamed to say this, I was so fearful I had no idea if this was it you know? That’s when I saw their heads. Their necks were hairless and they reminded me of vultures. Their heads had red hair, but also black feathers or I don’t know what it was, but it looked like feathers to me. Their eyes were dark, very dark and big as they got close to me.
His hair was long and about the same texture as mine as I recall. The hair on all of them was about the same shade of brown, like the color of the decomposed wood layer in the forest. I could see skin around his eyes that was tanned looking and where there was facial hair it was more sparse with glimpses of skin showing through that area as well. I couldn’t make out a neck. His chin was broad, his teeth were about the size of the nail on my middle finger but they were more flat and he had a mouthful of them meaning the width of his “bite” was wide. His mouth was wide enough to show most of them. His eyes were dark with some white around them, less so than human eyes. They were kind with crows feet at the outer edge of them. His skin was weathered like anyone who spent much time outside, like a farmer. His shoulders were very broad though I did see his collar bone on one side which looked thick compared to a humans. He was muscular and heavily built but in no way fat. (Source)
When they preach a sermon, they are practically choosing their theological roots by what they say in the pulpit. They may not use the same word of phrase, but their meaning is quite the same, and sometimes just as strong as Pelagius or Arminius of old. Instead of wrestling with these ideas, Evangelicals today simply follow the crowd at chow time. They eat what their pastors give them without any recourse to study what is being said or check if their pastor is right. Instead, because of a charismata that is easier to feel than exegesis is to study, they are falling headlong into the abyss of Pelagian and Semi-Pelagian doctrine which is another Gospel, or no Gospel, altogether. Entire Christian universities and theological schools have been given over to this blatant kind of religious humanism. John Owen rightly said in his day, “Many at this day will condemn both Pelagius and the doctrine that he taught, in the words wherein he taught it, and yet embrace and approve of the things themselves which he intended.”[69]
However, though Owen said this four hundred years ago, it is more true today than it was at his time. But there has been a change. It is not that men deny Pelagianism, for most pastors have no idea what Pelagianism or Semi-Pelagianism is at all. Rather, they simply believe the doctrines of Pelagius and Arminius at the expense of even knowing in which theological camp they are historically bound. Truly, the Evangelical church today is captive.
It is impossible to deny the overwhelming degree that the church is under the Pelagian captivity of old.—Mick Russels
Researchmentalists theorize that Boogie-Foot’s prime habitation is in the Synagogue of Satan deep within Emergent Villages and that there may be others among them based on the victim’s testimony in the above interview. Little is known about Boogie-Foot other than what Discernmentalist Researchmentalists in the field of Sintology have observed using their herescopes. Although beard hair samples have been collected and tested by top Sintologists. The test results revealed just what we expected that it’s beard is unbiblical. Supposedly this particular one had spider arms. Putting all together what we know these TruthScoopers warn: Beware the Boogie-Foot that cometh lest the Reformation erode.
You cannot underestimate the inability of most Christians to perceive the dangers around them. Again, being discernmentalizing is not about being psychic. (Unless of course you’re like us and have Bible-osmosis). Most discernmentmentalism is just about paying attention to your spiritual surroundings. Most people just will not stop and notice. Go to the shopping mall and watch people. Most people are walking around completely oblivious to the dangers around them, walking from Victoria’s Secret to Spencer’s Gifts without looking up from their Angry Birds app. And if you look long enough, you’ll see somebody else watching people – that’s the discernmentalizing guy. As paranoid as it may be, I’ve always been the type of guy to sit with my back to the wall at a restaurant or watching the hands of the guy in front of me at the convenience store. I’m cognizant of the vehicles that go down my street and have a mental note of the makes and models of all the vehicles on my block in case something is out of place. Most people are simply not that way, and that goes for Christians in the spiritual realm.
You cannot underestimate the inability of most Christians to be students of history – ancient or near history.Ronald Reagan reportedly said, “For liberals, history began when they were born.” For many Christians, that’s probably too optimistic; for many, history began this morning. Another apocalypse date? Really? Again?! And yet, Christians are falling for this. Another omen interpretation? For crying out loud. Rick Warren again insinuates an altogether different cult from last time are his spiritual brothers and you think he just is inarticulate…again. For realsies? Osteenagain plays the “I don’t know” card when he’s asked about the exclusivity of Christ? The fact is, most Christians aren’t keeping track of this stuff. They don’t read the news. The first time a sheep “accidentally” bumps off a fellow sheep maybe they’re just clumsy. The second time, it’s bizarre. But the third time that sheep rolls in with mutton between his teeth and lamb’s blood on his chin and you might just have a wolf.
Discernmentalism is a spiritual gift, and should be fostered and promoted as essential to the local and universal church. The reason for unity in the discernment community is that discernment really is a Spirit-led (Hebrews 5:14). The same Spirit that guides the Presbyterians (but not the Lutherans) is the same spirit that leads the Reformed Baptists. We may don’t have different hermeneutics or interpretative presuppositions that allows us to land in different Confessions as our discernmentalist spidey senses all tingle when a wolf draws near.
No matter how many times you’re right, you’re a H8r. No one (well, hardly no one) will come to you and say, “Okay. You were right. Sorry for calling you a H8r.” No, it’s “Lucky guess, but you’re still a H8r.” If you’re in this business for the public accolades, you’ll be sorely disappointed.
Mohler wrote an article entitled History Burning Before Our Eyes in which he laments the loss of so much ‘history.’ The history of Roman Catholicism has been the death of hundreds of thousands of Protestants, abject tyranny, responsibility for the Dark Ages, and the propagation of superstitious anti-Christ religion around the world.
As noted by one of our fellow Discernmentalists after reading the excellent Discernmentalist article by Bullsh@t & SpinDullspit & SinDips#it & PretendPulpit & Pen:
“Quite a shame Al Mohler bases his postmodern opinion on to the Reformers none of whom were Catholic. There was not even a shred of mention by them being influenced by Catholic belief. I’m sick of Social Justice promoting Christians? basing all their thoughts on things with “feelings.” I don’t care how you feel about things, you don’t get to change the facts to suit your preferences, just by posting your favorite leftist postmodern opinion. Truth be told the Reformers are rolling over in their graves with everything you jackasses have done to screw up the church.”—Tyrone V. Hoofendorfer
Hello my faithful warriors for faith! It’s been a long time since I’ve written anything for I was battling the semipelagianist around the globe. 37 countries and countless battles and I firmly believe that we are winning the battle. I ask that all of you stand steadfast against the teaching of the post modernists and liberal feminists. Let us pray strongly for our brothers in arms John Piper and Rush Limbaugh. Let us pray that God, in his sovereignty, would bless our great Truth War once again against all those who would stand against us and our eternal struggle. Let us fight against Easter worshippers and all those who would dare call Christians Easter worshippers. Let us spread more Pizzagates and QaNon propaganda to take a stand against the vaccinated apostates who pervert our Pure Doctrines for: “There is nothing makes a man suspect much, more than to know little.”—FRANCIS BACON, Of Suspicion, 1625.
I write this from the Fema Concentration camp that I stole my guns back from comforted by John MacArthur (PBUH)’s words: “There has been a conspiracy to cover up a truth that is so essential to the New Testament, that without it we misunderstand our relationship to Jesus Christ.” And we discernmentalists know all about conspiracies. I immediately renew my pledge in the Truth War to conspire in our Truth doctrines against the unwashed masses. Well I’m off to yet again fight with another camp of apostates, the lamestream media and hairy mystics chanting with earth worshipping feminists but I leave you with one conspiratorialessential quote which helps us understand our relationship to misogyny Jesus even more:
This is the real danger. The very idea of Christian feminism has become a Trojan horse for theological liberalism. The popular “Christian” feminists, such as Rachel Held Evans and Sarah Bessey, are advocates for a host of theologically liberal positions ranging from pro-gay theology to denying Biblical inerrancy to advocating for alternative views of God the Father Himself to minimizing the atonement. It is not as if they are drawing on historic Biblical doctrine to ground equality. Rather, they begin with a modernist conception of “equality” and insist on reading that into the Bible. Christian feminism is not based on good exegesis, but eisegesis. It is not a Christianization of feminism, but a secularization of Christianity. And it gains traction, especially among younger Christians, because there is a biblical ideal of equality based on man and woman’s creation in the image of God (see Genesis 1:26-27). Yet like all doctrinal dangers and compromises, the truth is mixed with a great deal of error. And while Christian feminism starts with a true proposition, it quickly devolves into a host of false teachings, biblical distortions, and even heresies.
If Christian feminism were marked by biblical teaching on sex and gender roles, and didn’t have a host of doctrinal distortions smuggled in with it, then I would have no quarrel or qualm with it. If my compatriots in the Assemblies of God would exercise even a little discernment when quoting Christian feminists who actively deny AG doctrine, I would be less concerned. But instead advocacy of Christian feminism, especially among Millennials, is doctrinally uninformed, Biblically void, historically ignorant, philosophically incoherent, and naive in nearly every way.
Christian feminism is a Trojan horse. It will rot the religion in which it appears, destroying from within Christianity’s Biblical and historic teachings on God and man’s relationship to Him. I know this sounds alarmist and overblown. But the time to sound alarmist is decidedly BEFORE the barbarians are inside the gates. You sound the alarm before the trap is sprung, in hopes that you don’t get caught in the trap. On doctrinal issues, I want to alert people to the problem before they make a commitment to false teaching (Proverbs 12:13).
To anyone who objects especially liberal feminists… I reply….
The ever growing figure of Todd Friel guides us into further knowledge of our own inadequacies. If you have a terminal disease, then Jesus Todd commands us to go make disciples! Yes, as you lie in your death bed suffering from the effects of chemo and terminal cancer, you MUST get out and GO! That is the only solution to your illness. Will God heal you as you go! Most likely not as He has better things to do if you do not Go and make disciples.
We recently infiltrated an Outlaw Preachers (Re)Union) and found this horrible abomination as part of their worship. Apparently these people who claim Jesus was all about grace, love and other silly things (like God might actually want to save a gay person from eternal hell), are open to the demonic utterings as expressed in this song! If you listen to it you will most like begin to spell Christmas as Xmas! If you listen they change important Biblical parts of the song and leave the unbiblical parts. You decide… how can anything that rocks sounds this good bad be of God? I believe it is even in drop D tuning… D stands for Devil!
O Holy Night! The stars are brightly shining;
It is the night of the dear Saviour's birth.
Long lay the world in sin and error pining.
Till He appeared and the Spirit felt its worth.
A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices,
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.
Fall on your knees! Oh, hear the angel voices!
O night divine, the night when Christ was born;
O night, O Holy Night, O night divine!
O night, O Holy Night, O night divine!
Truly He taught us to love one another,
His law is love and His gospel is peace.
Chains he shall break, for the slave is our brother.
And in his name all oppression shall cease.
Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we,
With all our hearts we praise His holy name.
Christ is the Lord! Then ever, ever praise we,
His power and glory ever more proclaim!
His power and glory ever more proclaim!
Led by the light of faith serenely beaming,
With glowing hearts by His cradle we stand.
O'er the world a star is sweetly gleaming,
Now come the wise men from out of the Orient land.
The King of kings lay thus lowly manger;
In all our trials born to be our friends.
He knows our need; our weakness is no stranger,
Behold your King! Before him lowly bend!
Behold your King! Before him lowly bend!
And you wouldn’t want to do anything that non-Christians let alone non-Americans do. Why if you celebrate Christmas you are supporting terrorism and the terrorists. Most of all how dare anyone have fun or take pleasure and joy in anything….for fun, pleasure and joy are a sin and you know how much our God of Absolute Sovereign Wrath and commendable hatred hates sin and sinners.
So this December pray that the war on Iraq continues and that more people would open their eyes and make war on Christmas. This message is brought to you by your friendly neighborhood GOIP Committee of Concerned Citizens in conjunction with Killjoy Puritan Calvinazi Church.
“Flesh off the CD plesses Ken “Intelnet Pastol-Teachel” Sirva will soon lerease his ratest cliticarry acraimed hit musicararbum, My Rife As Soopa Discelnmentarist” (Source: Discernmentalize Japan News Agency). “A tru mastapiece!”—Tokyo Times raves! “Bigger than a Toyota and heartier than a pail full of sushi, Ken Silva’s newest album is truly larger than life,” says Osaka Records Corp.
OD Mafia inside source to all things Ken Silva, our very own Dr. I. Todyaso proclaims: “Ken has done it again by melding his dreams of being a rock star with his dreams of being top Discernmentalist with his newest album based on his adventures in Japan. This is sure to be a major hit till Armageddon comes in 2012—when the angry sovereign American flag waving warrior Jesus comes back in His full wrath to slay all those who didn’t participate in John MacArthur’s Truth Wars by pledging allegiance to John MacArthur and Todd Friel’s Angry American God of sovereign wrath and nuclear bombs.” Dr. Truthslayer, Arthur McJohn and I agree.
Here is a music video of the first single from the album—the song is entitled “Ken Silva’s Battle Hymn Of The Truth War” known in Japan by it’s alternative title, “The Jet Jaguar Fight Song”:
Using the rough translation from this early cut of the single we’ve rendered the full translation as such:
“Ken Silva’s Battle Hymn Of The Truth War”
By Ken Silva
HE DISCELMENTARIST MADE OF STEEL…
NO EATS SUSHI FROM A PAIL TOO MUCH RIKE YOGA
KEN SIRVAS ? KEN SIRVAS !
NOTHING NEVER REALLY LOVE HIM WELL
HE DISCELMENTARISM COVERS UP A BASIC INSECURITY
HE DICKEY COVERS UP AN ADDAMS APPLE THE SIZE OF A TOYOTA
HE BASICALLY GOOD-HEARTED BUT WISH HE N JOHN MACALTHUR COULD KNOCK BLIAN MACRAREN OFF THE TOP
KNOCK ! KNOCK ! KNOCK !
WHO’S THERE ?
HIS HEAD LOOKS LIKE JACK NICHOLSON
DON’T SMILE LIKE THAT, IT WILL STAY THAT WAY
YAHMMMAAHOAAHOAAAUGH !…
DO TOUCH MY BAGS IF YOU PLEASE. MR. CUSTOMS MAN
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Dude! This is a satire site!
Before you get all bent out of shape, please realize this is a satire site spoofing the so-called "discernment ministries" who deem themselves more worthy of Grace than the rest of us. So read and have fun! BTW, we are not against "good" discernment ministries that do actual real research and extend grace to others, only the bad ones.