The Sickness in Discernmentalist Ministries

August 17, 2019

D4j7hMhW0AAWruJBecome  a part of the Deformed and Discernmentalist Southern Baptist unTwitterati Cabal today by mocking those who have fallen gravely ill. We are now accepting applicants. If you feel the current evangelical leadership (JD Greear, Russell Moore, Al Molher, Beth Moore, Tim Keller, etc.) are becoming evil libruls because they’re starting to acknowledge the existence of racial disparities in the criminal justice system—you’ll fit right in with us.

Just like Pastor Gabe we Discernmentalists believe sickness is a symptom of lifelong sin. We also believe we should be discernmentalizing 24/7—finding a new heretic of the week:

As a former news-junkie, I’ve often lamented the advent of 24/7 news. It has done more harm to journalism than any school of journalism (with all of their agendas) could have ever accomplished. Today, 24/7 news has created a feeding frenzy around every speculation, hearsay, possible motive, or misspoken word. The men and women formerly called journalists have an audience waiting to hear something new, and the industry demands that our network get it out before your network. So, rather than well-researched facts, so-called journalists are spitting out every kind of agenda-based opinion, to the point that fake news has become “a thing.” Have you notice how many “breaking news alerts” you hear on the 24/7 news channels? Events that have been scheduled for weeks are “breaking news.” Why the hyperbole? It is because of the feeding frenzy.

Discernment ministry has grown to this level as well. Those who have built their ministry around this work now have a constituency that they must feed. There is an expectation that the so-called discerners bring forth a new heretic of the week. After all, we already know about the other heretics, we’ve left their teaching, we are bored with them, and we’ve already posted the warnings on social media. But this is a new day, and discernment ministries have an empty blog and a silent podcast to fill.

The world is full of liberal sickos and they’re all out to get us. We’d like to thank Pastor Gabe for helping us spread the Discernmentalist Gospel.


“Reformation Eroding!”: Warns Pulpit & Pen

April 24, 2019

idolatry

Once again the Pure Doctrines of our most Holy most illustrious most inerrant Pope of our Truth War (PBUH) have come under attack. Our Research Robot Monkeys have noted that one of our own Al Mohler (who we already exposed as a Socialist against our Clear Teachings) did something that we ODMs disapprove of: mourned the fire at Notre Dame against our Clear Teachings against such. Quote:

Like most in the Evangelical Intelligentsia, Albert Mohler is signaling a virtue that is almost altogether disconnected from his theology. The long, long line to mourn the loss of a Temple of Idols forms somewhere near the headquarters of The Social Gospel Coalition, who lean heavily upon Roman Catholic Liberation Theology to support their progressive political agenda.

Mohler wrote an article entitled History Burning Before Our Eyes in which he laments the loss of so much ‘history.’ The history of Roman Catholicism has been the death of hundreds of thousands of Protestants, abject tyranny, responsibility for the Dark Ages, and the propagation of superstitious anti-Christ religion around the world.

We here at the ODMafia agree that this is a clear perversion of our the Doctrines of Grace and will erode the Protestant Reformation of Martin Luther’s (who observed Easter against our clear teachings on it’s pagan catholic origins) and John Calvin (who was influenced by the Patristics against our clear teachings to avoid all things Catholic). For shame Al—repent back to our Angry ODM Truth War Gospel against all those we deem unworthy of God’s grace or the liberals; gays; emergent hordes; Catholics; semi-pelagians; Rob Bell;  Armenians; pacifists; extraterrestrials; Red Letter Christians; Dracula; Bigfoot; etc. whose God’s love wins will erode our Reformation and the Purity of our Sound Doctrines and prevent us from bringing all of us back to the Dark Ages.

As noted by one of our fellow Discernmentalists after reading the excellent Discernmentalist article by Bullsh@t & Spin Dullspit & Sin Dips#it & Pretend Pulpit & Pen:

“Quite a shame Al Mohler bases his postmodern opinion on to the Reformers none of whom were Catholic. There was not even a shred of mention by them being influenced by Catholic belief. I’m sick of Social Justice promoting Christians? basing all their thoughts on things with “feelings.” I don’t care how you feel about things, you don’t get to change the facts to suit your preferences, just by posting your favorite leftist postmodern opinion. Truth be told the Reformers are rolling over in their graves with everything you jackasses have done to screw up the church.”—Tyrone V. Hoofendorfer

We move that Phil Johnson aka Hugh Jass  of the mighty Truth Warrior site Pyromaniacs force persuade Al to rejoin the ODM fold and take a stand in the Pure Doctrines of our most illustrious most Holy most inerrant Pope over ODMs and internet Calvinists everywhere (PBUH) or revoke his association with Mohler. In case you have forgotten my credentials—I was personally  mentored by the late great Pastor-Teacher to the Online Congregation of the True Remnant of ODMs—who personally sat at the feet of the late Walter Martin by pouring over his Apologetics cassette tapes for several hours. This gives me more than enough self-righteousness to discernmentalize and judgmentalize all those who don’t hold true to the Purity of our Doctrines of the Truth War.


NEITHER OBAMA’S NOR TRUMP’S NSA ARE SEVERE ENOUGH…

April 24, 2019

 

calvin-servetus

      NSA NOT SEVERE ENOUGH

Written By Ron Jobson (Don Jobson’s “Liberal” Brother) when False President Obama Bin Laden was still occupying the Oval Office

“There are a bunch of people who hate (the) N.S.A.,” says Laura Blakey, (but it follows our Truth War Doctrines)….I think our Christianity offends them.”

I am saddened to learn that Obama is moderately reforming the NSA as I was hoping for a more severe reform as the NSA follows the Pure Doctrine of Calvin. Clearly Obama is slipping into the man-worshipping heresy of semi-Pelagian Arminianism by not extending the NSA’s reach into spying on further areas of our lives just as the Pure Doctrine of Calvin proclaims. Thankfully Obama is still regulating us though he isn’t severely over-regulating us enough to reach the excellent quality of the sheer beauty of the Pure Doctrine of Calvin. (And as we all know “I have my own private opinion that there is no such thing as preaching Christ and Him crucified, unless we preach what nowadays is called Calvinism. It is a nickname to call it Calvinism; Calvinism is the gospel, and nothing else.”—Saint Charles Spurgeon and that John Calvin is the father of the theological system known as Calvinism. Praise Geneva and Dort and that John MacArthur (PBUH) is his final Prophet and Pope of our Truth War).:

“The notorious Consistory of ministers and elders was constituted by six clerics and twelve elders and operated like an Inquisition in the attempt to regulate every detail of private individual life and devotion. Calvin disliked all forms of public entertainment. His laws which, at first, prohibited a category of unapproved plays were finally extended to ban all forms of public theatrical performances. Card playing, extravagant dressing and hairstyle, dancing and singing, non-religious songs, all forms of instrumental music and choral harmony was prohibited in both secular and religious life and condemned as frivolous and ungodly. The sale of wine and beer was restricted to a few merchants licensed by the Consistory. Preachers were empowered to investigate cases of violation of the religious law and could violate a family’s privacy in the process. The Consistory employed the services of spies to gather information and evidence.”

Hopefully Obama (now Trump our Sovereign God-willing) will get onto really over-regulating every minute detail of our lives and spying on us in the Biblically-Correct manner of the Pure Doctrine of Calvin. Maybe then he’ll learn that I supported some Libertarians in the previous elections (sheer heresy) for as we know: “Calvin branded his opponents “Libertines” (the group opposed to Calvin referred to itself as the “Children of Geneva“). He called them “heretics” and “atheists” and employed the powers of the state to suppress them.” (That’s what Libertarians were called back then—also Libertarians sound like that unbiblical and ungodly term libertarian free will). And as the inerrant Romans 13 as well as Calvin’s final Prophet and our Pope of the Truth War John MacArthur (PBUH) teaches us that we should obey the Government in all things without question:

“[1] Let every person be subject to Obama (now Trump). For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God. [2] Therefore whoever resists Obama resists what God has appointed, and those who resist will incur judgment. [3] For Obama is not a terror to good conduct, but to bad. Would you have no fear of Obama? Then do what is good, and you will receive his approval, [4] for he is God’s servant for your good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword in vain. For he is the servant of God, an avenger who carries out God’s wrath on the wrongdoer. [5] Therefore one must be in subjection, not only to avoid God’s wrath but also for the sake of conscience. [6] For the same reason you also pay taxes, for the authorities are ministers of God, attending to this very thing. [7] Pay to all what is owed to them: taxes to whom taxes are owed, revenue to whom revenue is owed, respect to whom respect is owed, honor to whom honor is owed.”—“Now listen to this. It doesn’t matter whether your ruler is Caesar, Herod, Pilate, Felix, Fetus, Agrippa, Stalin, Hitler, Winston Churchill, Bill Clinton, it doesn’t matter who it is, he says be subject, you teach them to be subject.”

Maybe also then I can hopefully be tried for such a treasonous and heretical crime as supporting some Libertines/Libertarians. Maybe I’ll be thrown in prison or exiled from this pre-ordained Christian Nation but those punishments are too good for such a treasonous/heretical act as to question Obama in trying to follow the Pure Doctrine of Calvin with the NSA. It would be better if I were ‘put to death by slow burning at the stake for denouncing the tyranny of Obama and his NSA.’ I preach this Sound Biblical warning to you brethren to heed our Truth War Pope John MacArthur’s (PBUH) Biblically Orthodox Christian command to obey thy Government in all things without question. Or as John Calvin and the NSA would say: ‘we see whoever you sinners are sleeping with/we know when you’re awake/we know if you’ve been bad or good /so be good for meaninglessness’ sake…’

Addendum: After all of that time and with a truly Godly and Biblical President around though he has yet to implement our Pure Doctrines—I immediately repented of my support of libertine apostates and with my brother Don’s help got resanctified by voting for Trump. We would do well to lobby our leaders to follow: “….Calvin’s Geneva, considered by Knox to be “a perfect school of Christ”, that provided the model and template for the Reformation that would later achieve success in Scotland.” I now pledge to renew my vow to our Truth War by standing fast against all our enemies who try to pervert the Pure Doctrine of Calvin for:

To speak disrespectfully of Calvin or the clergy was a crime. A first violation of these ordinances was punished with a reprimand, further violation with fines, persistent violation with imprisonment or banishment. Fornication was to be punished with exile or drowning; adultery, blasphemy, or idolatry, with death. In one extraordinary instance a child was beheaded for striking its parents (link).

 


Attention Truth Warriors

December 24, 2010

It’s the most Satanic time of the year. Help us out by supporting our Truth War on German Lutherans. You can continue pledging your total allegiance to us by doing this, continuing your committed support of Bush’s illegal invasion of  the Iraq war and outlawing Christmas as one of our most hallowed Discernmentalists has noted: ” Btw, if you want to see a large, lavish Christmas display in a mall… go to Dubai in the UAE! Many countries that are not Christian celebrate this holiday. That right there should tell Christians it’s not of God!”

And you wouldn’t want to do anything that non-Christians let alone non-Americans do. Why if you celebrate Christmas you are supporting terrorism and the terrorists. Most of all how dare anyone have fun or take pleasure and joy in anything….for fun, pleasure and joy are a sin and you know how much our God of Absolute Sovereign Wrath and commendable hatred hates sin and sinners.

 

So this December pray that the war on Iraq continues and that more people would open their eyes and make war on Christmas. This message is brought to you by your friendly neighborhood GOIP Committee of Concerned Citizens in conjunction with Killjoy Puritan Calvinazi Church

 


Most Heretical Places On Earth

December 16, 2010

TOP NEWSPIN– In a recent polling undertaken by Top Discernmentalists, discernmentalists from around the globe have voted on the Most Heretical Places On Earth. In a surprise ruling Canada and California dropped to the 4th and 5th position (respectively) in the poll. Here is the official listing of the Top 5 Most Heretical Places On Earth:

  1. Armenia: full of man-loving Grace-hating semi-Pelagian Mary-worshiping Papal idolatry celebrating Roman Arminianists; a road straight to Rome; none who live here have any hope of salvation; all are unsaved non-Elect reprobates
  2. Montana: the Montanist state nough said! The heretic named Iggy lives here.
  3. Germany: birthplace of Lutheranism; untouched by the Protestant Reformation; spiritually dead*
  4. Canada: or Canuckistan is a communist country; full of drug addicts, pacifists and queers; produces sin-promoting television shows
  5. California: too liberal; clone of Canada; full of fornicators; other reasons 

————————————————————————————————

*- Further Reading: Truly Reformed; Lutherans not Truly Reformed; Dortian Calvinism Truly Reformed


Ken Silva’s Upcoming Soon To Be Released New Album

September 30, 2010

“Flesh off the CD plesses Ken “Intelnet Pastol-Teachel” Sirva will soon lerease his ratest cliticarry acraimed hit musicararbum, My Rife As Soopa Discelnmentarist” (Source: Discernmentalize Japan News Agency). “A tru mastapiece!”—Tokyo Times raves! “Bigger than a Toyota and heartier than a pail full of sushi, Ken Silva’s newest album is truly larger than life,” says Osaka Records Corp. 

OD Mafia inside source to all things Ken Silva, our very own Dr. I. Todyaso proclaims:  “Ken has done it again by melding  his dreams of being a rock star with his dreams of being top Discernmentalist with his newest album based on his adventures in Japan. This is sure to be a major hit till Armageddon comes in 2012—when the angry sovereign American flag waving warrior Jesus comes back in His full wrath to slay all those who didn’t participate in John MacArthur’s Truth Wars by pledging allegiance to John MacArthur and Todd Friel’s Angry American God of sovereign wrath and nuclear bombs.” Dr. Truthslayer, Arthur McJohn and I agree.

Here is a music video of the first single from the album—the song is entitled “Ken Silva’s Battle Hymn Of The Truth War” known in Japan by it’s alternative title, “The Jet Jaguar Fight Song”:

Using the rough translation from this early cut of the single we’ve rendered the full translation as such:

“Ken Silva’s Battle Hymn Of The Truth War”

By Ken Silva

HE DISCELMENTARIST MADE OF STEEL…

NO EATS SUSHI FROM A PAIL TOO MUCH RIKE YOGA
KEN SIRVAS ? KEN SIRVAS !
NOTHING NEVER REALLY LOVE HIM WELL
HE DISCELMENTARISM COVERS UP A BASIC INSECURITY
HE DICKEY COVERS UP AN ADDAMS APPLE THE SIZE OF A TOYOTA
HE BASICALLY GOOD-HEARTED BUT WISH HE N JOHN MACALTHUR COULD KNOCK BLIAN MACRAREN OFF THE TOP

KNOCK ! KNOCK ! KNOCK !
WHO’S THERE ?
HIS HEAD LOOKS LIKE JACK NICHOLSON
DON’T SMILE LIKE THAT, IT WILL STAY THAT WAY
YAHMMMAAHOAAHOAAAUGH !…
DO TOUCH MY BAGS IF YOU PLEASE. MR. CUSTOMS MAN


Brannon Howse joins with Jim Wallis in fight against Glen Beck

August 27, 2010

Brannon Howse joins with Jim Wallis in fight against Glen Beck.

 

It seems that we have lost two great truth warriors who have decided to fight with Jim Wallis against Glenn Beck. Both Ken Silva and Brannon Howse have joined forces with Jim Wallis thus shaking the ODM world with a mighty blast of horrifying blasphemy! More to come later.


%d bloggers like this: