The world can all go out and support immorality for teenagers and adults, Christ will not. He is the same yesterday, today and forever – He doesn’t change except when we changed Him to support our Republican agenda; America First; guns and warmongering; etc. For as we always have taught that Jesus is our weapon, we can use Him to abuse those who we deem less deserving of God’s grace than we are and that He hates leftists or anyone suspected of leftism or even appearing and sounding leftist most of all. So, we encourage all those who follow the Online Disernmentalist Mafia Creed to go forth in joy knowing you are doing the will of our Doctrine and Our God.
Lighthouse Trails has announced an official new name. There are currently no other details available at this time….we believe that if one peruses their website the name change is probably fitting.
The Extreme Theology of our Truth War should never be questioned—-neither should our methods of:
1. Flat out lies and manipulative double speak
2. Blatant Scripture Twisting
3. New & Direct Extra Biblical Revelation and Visions from God
4. Flat out intolerance for anyone who questions or challenges these “new” Extra Biblical Revelations and Visions that are supposedly from God.
When Brannon Howse lies and calls one of his fellow Conservatives a dupe and/or a secret undercover agent playing a part in some sort of a secret Marxist hidden agenda to destroy the American church—never question it. If Tim Challies quotes from G. K. Chesterton whom heretic Brian McLaren approves—never question it. If Eric Barger twists Scripture out of context to prove one of his points—never question it. When Phil Johnson via his boss defends the “Extra Revelation” of Premillenial Dispensationalism and secret Rapture teaching—never question it. When said believers question anyone who challenges Premillenial Dispensational Rapture belief—never question that either.
Do as we say but not as we do. Get it—got it—good because we told you so!
“The notorious Consistory of ministers and elders was constituted by six clerics and twelve elders and operated like an Inquisition in the attempt to regulate every detail of private individual life and devotion. Calvin disliked all forms of public entertainment. His laws which, at first, prohibited a category of unapproved plays were finally extended to ban all forms of public theatrical performances. Card playing, extravagant dressing and hairstyle, dancing and singing, non-religious songs, all forms of instrumental music and choral harmony was prohibited in both secular and religious life and condemned as frivolous and ungodly. The sale of wine and beer was restricted to a few merchants licensed by the Consistory. Preachers were empowered to investigate cases of violation of the religious law and could violate a family’s privacy in the process. The Consistory employed the services of spies to gather information and evidence.”
“[1] Let every person be subject to Obama (now Trump). For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God. [2] Therefore whoever resists Obama resists what God has appointed, and those who resist will incur judgment. [3] For Obama is not a terror to good conduct, but to bad. Would you have no fear of Obama? Then do what is good, and you will receive his approval, [4] for he is God’s servant for your good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword in vain. For he is the servant of God, an avenger who carries out God’s wrath on the wrongdoer. [5] Therefore one must be in subjection, not only to avoid God’s wrath but also for the sake of conscience. [6] For the same reason you also pay taxes, for the authorities are ministers of God, attending to this very thing. [7] Pay to all what is owed to them: taxes to whom taxes are owed, revenue to whom revenue is owed, respect to whom respect is owed, honor to whom honor is owed.”—“Now listen to this. It doesn’t matter whether your ruler is Caesar, Herod, Pilate, Felix, Fetus, Agrippa, Stalin, Hitler, Winston Churchill, Bill Clinton, it doesn’t matter who it is, he says be subject, you teach them to be subject.”
Addendum: After all of that time and with a truly Godly and Biblical President around though he has yet to implement our Pure Doctrines—I immediately repented of my support of libertine apostates and with my brother Don’s help got resanctified by voting for Trump. We would do well to lobby our leaders to follow: “….Calvin’s Geneva, considered by Knox to be “a perfect school of Christ”, that provided the model and template for the Reformation that would later achieve success in Scotland.” I now pledge to renew my vow to our Truth War by standing fast against all our enemies who try to pervert the Pure Doctrine of Calvin for:
To speak disrespectfully of Calvin or the clergy was a crime. A first violation of these ordinances was punished with a reprimand, further violation with fines, persistent violation with imprisonment or banishment. Fornication was to be punished with exile or drowning; adultery, blasphemy, or idolatry, with death. In one extraordinary instance a child was beheaded for striking its parents (link).
Typical Anabaptists/Baptists minus the pitchforks, horns and tails. Photo of an actual Baptist Cult CovenChurch service taking place just before they immerse new converts in foul smelling waters after walking down the aisle to the Altar to “make a decision to ask Christ Satan into their hearts;” then drink the blood of the dead as well as steal other peoples’ money to give to the poor. Evilness—sheer evilness! Photo courtesy of Satan.
Finally we’ve nailed that idiot and a farce of a wannabe heretic and fake Christian, Ben Currin aka TheoPoet in the midst of supporting heresy:
“The Anabaptists (Baptists) are only mentioned by name twice, but…they had revived all the ancient heresies about the Holy Trinity and the Person of Christ…. Many of them were Pelagians…. Others claimed that, being regenerate, they were unable to commit sin…. Some depreciated all Scripture and placed themselves above even the Moral Law…. Some denied any need of ordination for Ministers, and claimed that the efficacy of all ministrations depended on the personal holiness of the Minister…. Infant baptism was denied…. All church discipline was repudiated…. Many held strange views about the descent into hell, the nature of the resurrection — and the future life, the ultimate salvation of all men, and millenarianism….. The authority of the State was impugned, and communism demanded.”
We know this is exactly what that idiot False Convert TheoPoet teaches and that he is secretly a “sectarian landmarkist” who hates our Pure Doctrines just look at the description of his apostate Blog:
“TheoPoetic Musings: RANDOM THEOLOGICAL THOUGHTS FROM AN ECUMENICAL POSTMODERN RADICAL REFORMED ARMINIAN NEO-ORTHODOX BARTHIAN MODERATE PROGRESSIVE TO LIBERAL BAPTIST PERSPECTIVE (OH AND SOME POETRY AND LYRICS,TOO) “—if that doesn’t smack of Pure Evil and divisive sectarianism then you must be “spiritually blind” and of the devil as well. Anyone who calls themself a Baptist, an Anabaptist or both or even says anything slighty positive about these “obstinate pig-dogs” should have their very salvation called into question. We Know that Spurgeon (a TrulyReformed Baptist Landmarkist Calvinist Christian) never had anything positive to say about Baptists nor Anabaptists as he believed and taught nothing but our Pure Doctrines. Anyone who is an Anabapist/Baptist is by default wrong as only We have the right to claim True Theology and True Church History:
Apostate Film Productions in conjunction with Walt Disney’s Red Letter Department presents Commies: The Musical—a musical of epic heretical anti-capitalist proportions set in a time when Communistic Socialist Justice was just reaching into the jugular of America’s heartland. This musical begins with a young Jim Wallis singing this number (The World Will Know) in the hopes of getting America’s God-fearing youth to go on strike in protest against America’s God-ordained Capitalism:
Counting the costs from the riots that he incited Wallis gains a loyal band of followers including a young Tony Campolo. The plot really thickens when Wallis and Campolo encounter the heretical Social Gospel thought of Walter Rauschenbusch and both Wallis and Campolo begin thinking unbiblical thoughts about the Word of God which leads them to seriously ponder Jesus’ life and teachings. Soon Wallis and Campolo begin organizing and create the Red Letter Christian Union which seeks to ‘promote these evil unbiblical values such as peace, building strong families, the elimination of poverty, and other important social justice issues.’ In celebration of their Organized Union and their newly found Socialistic ideas Campolo pleads with the new Red Letter Christians to Seize The Day:
Somehow this song gains the attention of Brian McLaren as he dreams up a vision to unite Red Letter Christianity with his brand of Emergence Christianity. Jim Wallis and Tony Campolo catch wind of this idea and agree to meet with McLaren as they plan to unite in the theme of the Kingdom of God. Soon the Red Letter Christians and Emerging/Emergent Christians organize into an even bigger and stronger Union. Commies: The Musical ends with the whole cast singing a paen to their vision for a Communistic Kingdom of God to be unleashed upon the earth Once And For All:
This is just as bad as when our Research Robot Monkeys caught Chris Rosebrough quoting from the Brian McLaren endorsed Roman Catholic apostate G. K. Chesterton. Why is asking someone to meditate on a Bible verse so evil you may ask—why it may lead someone to slip into taking on the Emergent practice of meditation aka “Lectio Divina” or worse than that they may even take on the New Age practice of chanting. Lectio Divina of course is defined as:
Lectio Divina is Latin for divine reading, spiritual reading, or “holy reading,” and represents a traditional Christian practice of prayer and scriptural reading intended to promote communion with God and to increase in the knowledge of God’s Word. It is a way of praying with Scripture that calls one to study, ponder, listen and, finally, pray and even sing and rejoice from God’s Word, within the soul.
Now you can also see why we are also disappointed with Trish for slipping into Emerging heresy. However this is not a total shock as Dr. Seymore Spurgeon caught Ray Comforts (Awesome) of Way Of The Master in the actual act of practicing the New Age ritual of Lectio Divina as for Trish’s adding to the Word of God all we have to say is hath not God said in His Inerrant and Infallible Word the Bible: “5 Every word of God proves true; he is a shield to those who take refuge in him. 6 Do not add to his words, lest he rebuke you and you be found a liar.” [Proverbs 30:5-6 (ESV)]
…When we last left off of our tale, our anti-hero and anti-Reagan of our story (Martin Luther) was still supportive of our heros the Peasants (the Original Tea Partiers 4 Jesus), but suddenly though Martin Luther (Jim Wallis’ ancient relative) began to change and things took a turn for the worse. Martin Luther (would be Democrat) began to turn against the Peasants (Tea Partiers 4 Jesus) and slander them in a liberal controled media CNN sort of way saying that they violated Romans 13 by protesting and rebelling against the Holy Roman Emperor (the Obama of his day) and as we all know protesting and rebellion are of the Devil (unless of course it is the Protestant Rebellion protesting against the divinely appointed authority of the Pope). John MacArthur (a Protestant protester of all things Catholic or even Catholic sounding) sets the record straight:
Since America seems to be losing its Christian orientation, there are some who believe Christians have a right to protest and break the law. Many Christian leaders are calling for Christians to leave their present ministry and become a part of a new political Christian lobby that uses pressure and social action to effect change. Some are calling for protest and moderate revolution against our government. They say the government is taking freedom away from the church and encroaching on religion. In an effort to save the church’s freedom, myriads of organizations are rising up in our country calling for action against the government. I am amazed at how many evangelical Christians who would have avoided such activity fifteen years ago are now aggressively pursuing the political lobby approach. I’m also amazed at the number of belligerent people who join together on issues of civil authority and civil rights yet who would never find any common ground on the issue of truth. You can find true believers, charlatans, frauds, and false prophets all united for the sake of “religious freedom,” who believe that political lobbying will preserve the Kingdom of God in America. “Now listen to this. It doesn’t matter whether your ruler is Caesar, Herod, Pilate, Felix, Fetus, Agrippa, Stalin, Hitler, Winston Churchill, Bill Clinton, it doesn’t matter who it is, he says be subject, you teach them to be subject.”
But returning back to our tale Martin Luther (an anti-Glenn Beck of his day) was so in bed with Big Brother in trying to take away their God-given rights and liberties that he said of our heroes the Peasants (Tea Partiers 4 Jesus):
The peasants have taken upon themselves the burden of three terrible sins against God and man; by this they have abundantly merited death in body and soul. In the first place, they have sworn6 to be true and faithful, submissive and obedient, to their rulers, as Christ commands when he says, “Render to Caesar the things that are Caesar’s” [Luke 20:25]. And Romans 13 [:1] says, “Let every person be subject to the governing authorities.” Since they are now deliberately and violently breaking this oath of obedience and setting themselves in opposition to their masters, they have forfeited body and soul, as faithless, perjured, lying, disobedient rascals and scoundrels usually do. St. Paul passed this judgment on them in Romans 13 [:2] when he said that those who resist the authorities will bring a judgment upon themselves. This saying will smite the peasants sooner or later, for God wants people to be loyal and to do their duty.
…anyone who is killed fighting on the side of the rulers may be a true martyr in the eyes of God, if he fights with the kind of conscience I have just described, for he acts in obedience to God’s word. On the other hand, anyone who perishes on the peasants’ side is an eternal firebrand of hell, for he bears the sword against God’s word and is disobedient to him, and is a member of the devil.
…The peasants are not content with belonging to the devil themselves; they force and compel many good people to join their devilish league against their wills, and so make them partakers of all of their own wickedness and damnation. Anyone who consorts with them goes to the devil with them and is guilty of all the evil deeds that they commit, even though he has to do this because he is so weak in faith that he could not resist them. A pious Christian ought to suffer a hundred deaths rather than give a hairsbreadth of consent to the peasants’ cause. O how many martyrs could now be made by the bloodthirsty peasants and the prophets of murder!13 Now the rulers ought to have mercy on these prisoners of the peasants, and if they had no other reason to use the sword with a good conscience against the peasants, and to risk their own lives and property in fighting them, this would be reason enough, and more than enough: they would be rescuing and helping these souls whom the peasants have forced into their devilish league and who, without willing it, are sinning so horribly and must be damned. For truly these souls are in purgatory; indeed, they are in the bonds of hell and the devil.
This is why we now offer this Godly Sanctified non-Heretical non-Worldly Folk Ballad Pure Truth War Reagan Gospel Hymn in their honor—in the honor of the martyrs of the original Tea Party—the Peasants (the Original Tea Partiers 4 Jesus) and in protest against Martin Luther and Big Brother (the Holy Roman Empire—the Original Big Bad Socialist Government):
We are proud to present to you a moment from Discernmentalist Revised History uncut and uncensored: This is a tale about the Original Tea Partiers 4 Jesus and how they revolted against the Big Bad Government and the Big Name who stood against them and opposed them. The cast of characters include: a bunch of peasants (the Original Tea Partiers 4 Jesus), the Holy Roman Emperor (Big Brother) and the Big Name who stood with Big Brother against the Original Tea Partiers 4 Jesus—that Big Name of course is Martin Luther (evil Neo-Marxist Red-Letter Christian prototype).
At first Martin Luther (our anti-hero and anti-Reagan of this story) agreed that the Peasants (Tea Partiers 4 Jesus) deserved a break from their taxes especially those who were extremely wealthy by Medieval standards (meaning they privately owned at least one cow)—so all the Peasants (Tea Partiers 4 Jesus) drew up a plan to lobby for tax cuts for the richest and most wealthiest among them. I mean why should they have to share their privately owned cattle or any other privately owned property with the government that only protects them and makes them secure. Why should they have to share with anyone for that matter as sharing is Communism and as we all know:
The Bible mandates free market capitalism. It is anti-socialist. When Christianity adheres to the judicial specifics of the Bible, it produces free market capitalism.
On the other hand, when Christianity rejects the judicial specifics of the Bible, it produces socialism or some politically run hybrid “middle way” between capitalism and socialism, where politicians and bureaucrats make the big decisions about how people’s wealth will be allocated. Economic growth then slows or is reversed. Always.
To be continued in the next exciting part of our installments of Discernmentalist Revised History—stay tuned for the conclusion of our tale in Martin Luther Backs Socialists: Chapter The Second…
We support Tin-Foil Hat Theology in all of it’s glory. Forget the Purpose-Driven heretical drivel of Rick Warren—we support the Conspiracy-Driven Church. Remember Truth is under attack by our enemies—-some of whom have even crept up into our churches uninvited by secret cloaking Truth-bending tactics. These Spiritual Terrorists are otherwise known as the Emergent Church and/or Red-Letter Christians.
They have sneaked inside of our churches in order to bend the Truth to their evil overlord Brian McLaren’s ungodly and unbiblical libertarian free-will. Rather than serving the Pure and Absolute Sovereign God of Wrath, whose Absolute Glory is man’s chief end—they’d rather serve their sinful, prideful and selfish ways and therefore they bow down to Satan, the Master of all Untruth, which makes materialism, selfishness and human pride and sin man’s chief end.
Remember also that God’s Sovereign Truth is so precious and fragile that it needs protecting by mere mortals using any means necessary including slander, libel, lies and other worldly weapons (this is the Truth War afterall)—this is where conspiracy theories come in handy and why Tin-Foil Hat Theology is a Discernmentalist’s best friend. The nuttier the conspiracy theory the better to help defend and protect the Absolute Truth. Here are some of our personal favorite conspiracies that Brannon Howse has uncovered and taught us over the years :
– non-Zionists, Emergents, socialists, globalists, Muslims, communists, atheists, heathens, Red-Letter Christians, Marxists and secular Jews are all attempting to take over the world.
– International bankers are trying to take over the world.
– The Illuminati, or other clandestine groups, are attempting to take over the world.
– NASA and the government are covering over the truth about UFOs.
– NASA and the government are covering over the truth about cities on Mars and the moon.
– NASA and the government are covering over the truth that the Apollo missions were hoaxes.
– The government is covering over the assassination or assassination attempts on high-profile government officials like JFK or Ron Brown or the attempt on Final President Reagan.
– Muslims are responsible for all acts of terrorism around the world.
– Obama is a Secular-Humanist Muslim atheist and the Anti-Christ bent on destroying America through Communistic Socialism and helping our enemies take over the world.
– the government is covering over their involvement in orchestrating the events of September 11th, 2001, with remote control planes, cruise missiles, and controlled demolitions with Muslims’ and liberals’ help.(Source: New World Order Weekend).
The noted and award-winning Discernmentalist Tin-Foil Hat Theologian Ken Silva wants our students to know that: “Conspiracies are just too difficult to keep secret even when there are only one or two people keeping the secret.”… so help us to expose all to the secret conspiracies of our enemies who are all out there trying to destroy the Truth and the church…And as always, spread the fear and hate!
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Dude! This is a satire site!
Before you get all bent out of shape, please realize this is a satire site spoofing the so-called "discernment ministries" who deem themselves more worthy of Grace than the rest of us. So read and have fun! BTW, we are not against "good" discernment ministries that do actual real research and extend grace to others, only the bad ones.