The ODMafia research robot monkeys were the first to break the case! Super-gay-guy found to have single handedly destroyed an entire empire. According to our very accurate research by our electronic monkeys this man was bent on creating an all gay army; men in tights!
We believe that this covert army began to gay-i-fy the entire army, and then the entire nation. It was their goal not to allow woman to vote, drive or to own property – thereby securing rights for the secret gay groups that ran amuck! We heard now that they are ruining chicken restaurants—how the mighty have fallen!
Every truth warrior knows that the first casualty in war is the truth. Of course the first casualty in a truth war to protect the truth is the truth. In order to protect the truth we need to spin, doctor, alter, change the truth because as all truth warriors know….truth falters, it is weak, and cannot defend itself on its own terms. We need to define truth at all times as absolute, and certain. We need platonic dualism (Driven by his desire to find an absolute certainty on which to base the search for knowledge) to defend truth. That is why Take A Stand Ministries is a master at truth stretching….actually this is quote similar to Discerning The Worlds “STRETCH TECHNOLOGY.” Nevertheless, ODMafia is fully behind this sort of discernmentalism.
Truthslayer….safeguarding the truth by spinning missives.
Discerning The World notes: “Ok, just to let you know. My blog is going on a trip, it packed it’s bags and moved into a comfy little server room. I’m just re-decorating the furniture. All my articles have been moved across and comments moved across as well. Except the the last 2 days, there might be some that I will have to manually copy across.”
Since then Discerning the World, the great preventer of truth-decay has moved here.
Keen discernmentalists everywhere believe that it should be called DISCERNING THE WORLD FOUR. “An uber-genuine authentic blog for uber genuine authentic Christians” Still according to our research robot monkeys NOW 100% more truthful than it was in its previous incarnation (we do not insinuate or imply that DTW is emulating or replicating Jesus’ incarnation, nevertheless if they were we can assure you that it would be 100% biblical). Adjusting for accuracy using our quantum probability discerner generator we may still be off as much as 60%-70%. Any mistakes are blamed on Rob Bell.
In terms of being genuine….the site promises to be MORE
1) Absolute
2) Unvarnished
3) and Unimpeachable
We believe that only a true ODM can achieve such marvelous goals and still undermine the character of others and call it ministry. ODMs everywhere are excited for version number 4!!!
Rob Bell – The Original Guerilla Theatre: throwing ourselves into this ancient, sacred art form with the absurd, naive, antiquated belief that the world needs inspiring, provocative, comforting, dangerous, healing, great sermons now more than ever
We are not sure exactly what that quote means ….BUT….using Discerning the World’s newly invented STRETCH technology (Survey Truth Revise & Exaggerate Truncate Cacophony of Hagiomania) -we get the following re-interpretation….
[DTW note: What Rob Bell REALLY means here. Ancient, sacred art = paganism, occult. By art they actually mean the craft or ‘art of the craft’. In short it means this: The experience and feeling you can attain by following ancient sacred knowledge by practicing certain disciplines.
ODMAfia note: We like the added emphasis that DTW gives for interpretation ie What Rob Bell REALLY means…
Despite the fact that readers are given almost no context (which is an effective discernmentalist tool)….could not “ancient, sacred art” mean conveying stories or parables (just like ancient men did, like Jesus used????) to convey truth through narrative?
We like the fact that DTW uses insinuation…another effective tool of attack against the unrighteous. We are also pleased that DTW has replaced the Roman Magisterium with themselves as the ultimate interpreter of all that is Rob Bell, Emergent or any other “defective” Christianity.
We are thankful for the Discerning the World MAGISTERIAL interpretation of Rob Bell by using STRETCH. Thanks guys!
Elsewhere Todd Friel (Wretched) [who only wishes he were half the discernmentalist as we are—otherwise he would have detected Warren’s new hideously apostate Seeker-Driven Purpose machine before we did] has discernmentalized:
Friel highlights comments made by Warren in a conversation between him and the Orange County Bishop Kevin Vann which he says were way too ‘ecumenical’ and lacked distinction between the two strands of the Christian faith.
“The Roman Catholic Church has led so many people away from truth,” says Friel. “We committed to pray for each other,” said Warren about his growing friendship with the Bishop. “I’m sorry, I wouldn’t ask a Roman Catholic to pray for me,” responds Friel. “Those prayers are not being heard especially if they are offered to a saint or to Mary.”
Thankfully, our fellow discernmentalists Discerning The World are applying STRETCH tech to the world of discernmentalism. In case you are wondering STRETCH stands for Survey Truth Revise & Exaggerate Truncate Cacophony of Hagiomania.
“Rob Bell – The Story We’re Telling: sin, salvation, business, art, justice and the importance of beginning in the beginning”
Indeed, very subversive stuff. Story telling,sin and even a THREAT to go back to the beginning. So what is so dark about….THE BEGINNING?
Using STRETCH… this is the sinister plot that was EXPOSED….remember STRETCH accurately interprets EVERYTHING! So here is the STRETCH interpretation as follows (will original spelling errors included):
” [DTW note: they are saying that you have got to go back to the beginning, go back to where ancient knowledge originately from, where sacret arts originationed from in order to move forward. How far do we have to go back? To the very beginning, of course. We, each individual person, needs to eat from the tree of life in order to gain knowledge.
Genesis 3:4-5 4 The serpent said to the woman, “You surely will not die! 5 “For God knows that in the day you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”] ”
Insightful for sure!
Discernmentalist groups like us like to zone in on the negative.We like to find the worst, believe the least, and expect to find a sinister plot behind every bush or milk crate. We fully support this. This is indeed an excellent application of ascertaining truth.
However we do have some questions………………………………..
Beginning Now…..lets look at the “BEGINNING” Ge 1:1 – In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.
1) All knowledge and ALL things (visible and invisable) would begin with and from God’s creation. Very dark indeed. Truth coming from God himself…how dare Him!
Ps 111:10 – The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom; all who follow his precepts have good understanding. To him belongs eternal praise.
2) Hmmmm. Could Rob perhaps be alluding to the beginning in reference to wisdom? Perhaps, but in good discernmentalist fashion DTW does not provide context. Only DTW ‘wisdom.’ Of course we endorse this kind of expert discernmentalism…out of context wisdom.
Pr 1:7 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline.
3) This is astounding. Fools despise wisdom. Not us… we love DTW ‘wisdom. ‘ Proverbs also suggests that the FEAR (REVERENCE) of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge. Hmmm. Something must be wrong with this verse because DTW suggests that we must reference satan as the beginning.
Recently we heard DTW were revising their STRETCH TECH as they’ve found even newer applications of it.
We at ODMAFA would like to put an offer in on this newly revised version of STRETCH TECHNOLOGY. This is obviously a MUCH needed technology that would alleviate us from having to think rationally, read our bibles, or depend on our robot research monkeys. If anyone out there can put us in touch with DTW, or contact DTW so that we can get a bargain deal on new STRETCH we’d appreciate it!
Breaking: While you were sleeping peacefully last night safe and protected by our Sound Doctrines in your warm beds—late last night ODMafia spies broke into Planned Pulpithood’s bunker and forced them to agree to a ceasefire of firing their missives at us and agree to ODMafia’s peace terms. However Pulpit promises to let the ODMafia continue subtly firing off our weapons of Massive destruction at them since the ODMafia helped crack the secret code of one of Pulpit’s enemies because our discernmentalism is of higher quality than anyone else’s.
ecumenism = one world religion/one world government/new world order
they mix True Bible-Believing Conservative Christian Believers with False Converts such as Mary and Pope-worshipping Romanists and non-Christians (Mormons) against the clear Bible teaching of the Doctrine of Separatism in 2 Corinthians 6:14-18
by being ecumenical they plan to unleash an unholy hybrid of Calvinism (Absolute Biblical Truth) with Papism and Mormonism upon the world
Typical Anabaptists/Baptists minus the pitchforks, horns and tails. Photo of an actual Baptist Cult CovenChurch service taking place just before they immerse new converts in foul smelling waters after walking down the aisle to the Altar to “make a decision to ask Christ Satan into their hearts;” then drink the blood of the dead as well as steal other peoples’ money to give to the poor. Evilness—sheer evilness! Photo courtesy of Satan.
Finally we’ve nailed that idiot and a farce of a wannabe heretic and fake Christian, Ben Currin aka TheoPoet in the midst of supporting heresy:
“The Anabaptists (Baptists) are only mentioned by name twice, but…they had revived all the ancient heresies about the Holy Trinity and the Person of Christ…. Many of them were Pelagians…. Others claimed that, being regenerate, they were unable to commit sin…. Some depreciated all Scripture and placed themselves above even the Moral Law…. Some denied any need of ordination for Ministers, and claimed that the efficacy of all ministrations depended on the personal holiness of the Minister…. Infant baptism was denied…. All church discipline was repudiated…. Many held strange views about the descent into hell, the nature of the resurrection — and the future life, the ultimate salvation of all men, and millenarianism….. The authority of the State was impugned, and communism demanded.”
We know this is exactly what that idiot False Convert TheoPoet teaches and that he is secretly a “sectarian landmarkist” who hates our Pure Doctrines just look at the description of his apostate Blog:
“TheoPoetic Musings: RANDOM THEOLOGICAL THOUGHTS FROM AN ECUMENICAL POSTMODERN RADICAL REFORMED ARMINIAN NEO-ORTHODOX BARTHIAN MODERATE PROGRESSIVE TO LIBERAL BAPTIST PERSPECTIVE (OH AND SOME POETRY AND LYRICS,TOO) “—if that doesn’t smack of Pure Evil and divisive sectarianism then you must be “spiritually blind” and of the devil as well. Anyone who calls themself a Baptist, an Anabaptist or both or even says anything slighty positive about these “obstinate pig-dogs” should have their very salvation called into question. We Know that Spurgeon (a TrulyReformed Baptist Landmarkist Calvinist Christian) never had anything positive to say about Baptists nor Anabaptists as he believed and taught nothing but our Pure Doctrines. Anyone who is an Anabapist/Baptist is by default wrong as only We have the right to claim True Theology and True Church History:
You are currently browsing the archives for the STRETCH Technology category.
Dude! This is a satire site!
Before you get all bent out of shape, please realize this is a satire site spoofing the so-called "discernment ministries" who deem themselves more worthy of Grace than the rest of us. So read and have fun! BTW, we are not against "good" discernment ministries that do actual real research and extend grace to others, only the bad ones.
Posted by truthslayer 
In keen Discernmentalist fashion
DJ
donjobson
itodyaso
seymorespurgeon
truthslayer
Will Farel XV
itodyaso.wordpress.com 
