Be Rapture-Ready for May 21, 2011!

May 17, 2011

Prepare for May 21st and be Rapture Ready with the Online Discernmentalist Mafia’s handy new RaptureHatch for the roofs of True Churches and the homes of True Regenerate Converts. Doomsday is soon approaching… Don’t get Left Behind with the unregenerate non-Elect heathens… Let John MacArthur confirm you in our Pure Truth War Doctrines and prove that you are indeed Rapture Ready and we’ll install a RaptureHatch on your roof today!

This site (an Online Discernmentalist Mafia partner site) reveals the most complete written, audio, and video Bible teachings which conclusively prove May 21, 2011 to be Judgment Day and The Rapture, and October 21, 2011 to be the end of the world. It is most urgent to examine yourself, whether you are of the Regenerate Elect and therefore are saved.

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Fox News’ Secret Liberal Agenda

August 10, 2010

Our faithful Research Robot Monkeys are ever scouring the world in our quest of rooting out the True Christians from the fakers and pretenders; the True Converts from the False Converts. This was why we were so shocked when thanks to our Research Robot Monkey Infiltrators we discovered that Fox News are so ungodly. Not only is Fox News ungodly, they are also full of fake and pretend Christians aka False Converts because they pretend to be bible-believing Conservatives while all the while secretly supporting  the ungodly liberal agenda. Here for all the world our Research Robot Monkeys expose Fox News’ Hidden Liberal Agenda:

  • they are way too ecumenical
  • ecumenism = liberalism
  • ecumenism = one world religion/one world government/new world order
  • they mix True Bible-Believing Conservative Christian Believers with False Converts such as Mary and Pope-worshipping Romanists and non-Christians (Mormons) against the clear Bible teaching  of the Doctrine of Separatism in 2 Corinthians 6:14-18
  • by being ecumenical they plan to unleash an unholy hybrid of Calvinism (Absolute Biblical Truth) with Papism and Mormonism upon the world
  • they are crybabies
  • crying = effeminate
  • effeminate = queerosexual
  • queerosexual = liberal
  • liberal  = terrorist

But most importantly they broke the 11th Commandment—one of the holiest of  all commandments which is: “Thou shall not cry with an unbeliever; it is an abomination.”
(Holy Ways Of The Master King James John MacArthur Bible: Wretched Edition).


Christo-Fascistview Radio Notes UFOs Planning Attack

July 28, 2010

 

Jan Markell: July 27
Rich Christiano joins Jan to talk about those pesky little UFOs. Should Christians take this seriously? Yes! Christiano has produced a film about the subject — a film good for spreading the gospel. He believes, as does this ministry, that these UFOs are demonic manifestations due to the lateness of the hour. After the Rapture, the world will say that these objects took people away and good riddance.

OD Mafia Editor’s Note: We have reason to suspect Obama, Lew Rockwell, Rob Bell and all Muslims have something to do with this.


“The REAL Purpose of the Church.”

June 30, 2010

 

Eric Barger reveals “The REAL Purpose of the Church” by giving a sneak preview of what’s in store for all True ODM Churches in these Last Days. What’s in store for all Pure ODM Churches taking a stand for Absolute Truth you may ask? Why! Nothing but the blessed rapture! (Thanks to one of our Reasearch Robot Monkeys for catching this).

However we are not quite satisfied with that answer as we are not quite in the Last Days of this Great Tribulation of Emergent apostasy—because of this we must continue to stand for Truth so that we will be ready—Rapture Ready when the blessed rapture occurs before Jesus returns and comes to slay all the non-Elect unregenerate reprobates.

Are you ready? Here is our list of what one must do to be ready in order to prepare for the blessed rapture

  • Unconditionally support every act of Israel even their acts of terrorism
  • Unconditionally support USA-brand Imperialism
  • Vote Obama and every Democrat out of office
  • Smoke a Spurgeon-approved cigar
  • Buy 667 copies of John MacArthur’s book The Truth War: Fighting for Certainty in an Age of Deception and leave one copy everywhere you go just in case one of the regenerate predestined Elect accidently stumbles upon a copy and awakens to their status of being among the regenerate predestined Elect
  • Outlaw all abortion and homosexuality
  • Use only a King James AV1611 Bible or ESV
  • Burn any copy of Rick Warren’s Purpose Driven Life, Brian McLaren’s books or any other Emergent type book that you come across preferably while performing a Bible-Based animal sacrifice or while  burning Emergent heretics themselves 
  • Read only the Online Discernmentalist Mafia, The Official Blog Of God’s Only Inerrant Party, Ken Silva and other ODMs to get your facts]
  • Continue to be ever-vigilant and ever-valiant in your stand for our Absolute Biblical Truth

Chris Rosebrough Caught Secretly Supporting The New World Order

June 15, 2010

 

Recently our Research Robot Monkeys discovered shocking and startling information about Chris Rosebrough in the form of a comment left on his site by one Squirleywrath. Squirleywrath uses a Masonic symbol for his avatar yet Chris Rosebrough never censored this eventhough Freemasons are the secret agents of the New World Order. Given these facts our Research Robot Monkeys can only conclude that Chris Rosebrough secretly supports the New World Order himself. We have Absolute Proof—behold the evidence speaks for itself:

Shame on you Chris! You should know better than to leave NWO symbols unfiltered and uncensored on your site. We would never do such a thing given the problems with Freemasonry as noted by the top agency of a panel of our brightest researchmentalists:

The Eight Problems With Freemasonry

  • 1. The prevalent use of offensive concepts, titles, and terms such as “Worshipful Master” for the leaders of the lodge; references to their buildings as “mosques,” “shrines,” or “temples”; and the use of such words as “Abaddon” and Jah-Bul-On,” the so-called secret name of God. To many, these terms are not only offensive but sacrilegious.
  • 2. The use of archaic, offensive rituals and so-called “bloody oaths” or “obligations,” among those being that promised by the Entered Apprentice: [listed in original] or that of the Fellow Craft degree: [listed in original] Or that of the Master Mason: [listed in original] Or that of other advanced degrees with required rituals considered by many to be pagan and incompatible with Christian faith and practice. Even though these oaths, obligations and rituals may or may not be taken seriously by the initiate, it is inappropriate for a Christian to “sincerely promise and swear,” with a hand on the Holy Bible, any such promises or oaths, or to participate in any such pagan rituals.
  • 3. The recommended readings in pursuance of advanced degrees, of religions and philosophies, which are undeniably pagan and/or occult, such as much of the writings of Albert Pike, Albert Mackey, Manly Hall, Rex Hutchins, W.L. Wilmhurst and other such authors; along with their works, such as Morals and Dogma, A Bridge to Light, An Encyclopedia of Freemasonry and The Meaning of Masonry.
  • 4. The reference to the Bible placed on the altar of the lodge as the “furniture of the lodge,” comparing it to the square and compass rather than giving it the supreme place in the lodge.
  • 5. The prevalent use of the term “light” which some may understand as a reference to salvation rather than knowledge or truth.
  • 6. The implication that salvation may be attained by one’s good works, implicit in the statement found in some Masonic writings that “Masonry is continually reminded of that purity of life and conduct which is necessary to obtain admittance into the Celestial Lodge above where the Supreme Architect of the Universe presides.” (LA Monitor, page 79) Even though many Masons understand that the “purity of life and conduct” can only be achieved through faith in Jesus Christ, others may be led to believe they can earn salvation by living a pure life with good conduct.
  • 7. The heresy of Universalism (the belief all people will eventually be saved), which permeates the writings of many Masonic authors, which is a doctrine inconsistent with New Testament teaching.
  • 8. The refusal of most lodges (although not all) to admit for membership African Americans.

(As reported by the Home Missions Board, SBC, 1350 Spring Street NW, Atlanta, GA 30367-5601)

We all must take a stand and come against this abomination so along with Ken Silva we ask thatIf you have been blessed by this ministry, which seeks to educate and warn people, so that they can see the coming New World Order — Kingdom of Antichrist — in their daily news, then we need your support to stay on the Internet. The sword is coming, and coming both quickly and with enormous power. But, most people, including most Christians, do not see it coming. Will you be a “Watchman On The Wall” with us?”


Tin-Foil Hat Theology: A Discernmentalist’s Best Friend!

May 29, 2010

 

We support Tin-Foil Hat Theology in all of it’s glory. Forget the Purpose-Driven heretical drivel of Rick Warren—we support the Conspiracy-Driven Church. Remember Truth is under attack by our enemies—-some of whom have even crept up into our churches uninvited by secret cloaking Truth-bending tactics. These Spiritual Terrorists are otherwise known as the Emergent Church and/or Red-Letter Christians.

They have sneaked inside of our churches in order to bend the Truth to their evil overlord Brian McLaren’s ungodly and unbiblical libertarian free-will. Rather than serving the Pure and Absolute Sovereign God of Wrath, whose Absolute Glory is man’s chief end—they’d rather serve their sinful, prideful and selfish ways and therefore they bow down to Satan, the Master of all Untruth, which makes materialism, selfishness and human pride and sin man’s chief end.

Remember also that God’s Sovereign Truth is so precious and fragile that it needs protecting by mere mortals using any means necessary including slander, libel,  lies and other worldly weapons (this is the Truth War afterall)—this is where conspiracy theories come in handy and why Tin-Foil Hat Theology is a Discernmentalist’s best friend. The nuttier the conspiracy theory the better to help defend and protect the Absolute Truth. Here are some of our personal favorite conspiracies that Brannon Howse has uncovered and taught us over the years :

– non-Zionists, Emergents, socialists, globalists, Muslims, communists, atheists, heathens, Red-Letter Christians, Marxists and secular Jews are all attempting to take over the world.

– International bankers are trying to take over the world.

– The Illuminati, or other clandestine groups, are attempting to take over the world.

– NASA and the government are covering over the truth about UFOs.

– NASA and the government are covering over the truth about cities on Mars and the moon.

– NASA and the government are covering over the truth that the Apollo missions were hoaxes.

– The government is covering over the assassination or assassination attempts on high-profile government officials like JFK or Ron Brown or the attempt on Final President Reagan. 

– Muslims are responsible for all acts of terrorism around the world.

– Obama is a Secular-Humanist Muslim atheist and the Anti-Christ bent on destroying America through Communistic Socialism and helping our enemies take over the world.

 – the government is covering over their involvement in orchestrating the events of September 11th, 2001, with remote control planes, cruise missiles, and controlled demolitions with Muslims’ and liberals’ help. (Source: New World Order Weekend).

The noted and award-winning Discernmentalist Tin-Foil Hat Theologian Ken Silva wants our students to know that: “Conspiracies are just too difficult to keep secret even when there are only one or two people keeping the secret.”… so help us to expose all to the secret conspiracies  of our enemies who are all out there trying to destroy the Truth and the church…And as always, spread the fear and hate!


Happy Divine Destruction Of The Earth Day!

April 22, 2010

Happy Earth Day. We  Discernmentalists do not believe in such a Worldly and Paganistic Earth-worshipping holiday as Earth Day. Foolish Environmentalists want us to take care of the Earth—what unbiblical nonsense (Genesis 1:26). The Earth is expendable for God in His Absolute Sovereign Wrath will soon enough destroy not only the Earth but the entire universe in these Last Days—that is after He raptures up His predestined Elect. This is why we must take a stand against such an unbiblical apostate and Satanic celebration as Earth Day so  remember these Bible-Based words of  our Pure theme song that we created using Eric Barger’s STRETCH Technology:

Discernmentalists chant: “WASTE!”
“FIRE!”
“TORNADOES!”
“FLOODS!”
“WRATH!”

Discernmentalists then shout: “Go God’s Absolute Sovereign Wrath!”

Captain Pollution (John MacArthur) shouts: “By your Discernmentalist powers combined, I am Captain Pollution (John MacArthur)!”

Captain Pollution (John MacArthur), he’s our hero
Gonna take Emergent environmentalism down to zero

 

He’s our Discernmentalist powers magnified
And he’s fighting on God’s Absolute Sovereign Wrathful side

Captain Pollution (John MacArthur), he’s our hero
Gonna take Emergent environmentalism down to zero

Gonna help him put asunder apostates and
Other bad guys who like to spoil our Capitalistic looting and plundering

 

With a sinister jeer Brian McLaren snidely scowls: “You’ll pay for this Captain Pollution (John MacArthur)!”

We’re the Polluteteers
You can be one too
‘Cause self-righteously judging someone’s salvation is the thing to do!

Capitalistic looting and polluting are the Way
Hear what Captain Pollution (John MacArthur) has to say!

Captain Pollution (John MacArthur) triumphantly proclaims this Gospel message: “The Power of God’s Absolute Sovereign Wrath will Destroy the Earth!”


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