Scientists unveil ancient fossilized truth warrior

St. Ignace (Reuters) – Scientists on Tuesday unveiled the well preserved fossilized remains found in Northern Canada of a primate from 47 million years ago that may have been a close relative of the common ancestor of feces throwing monkeys that is a close relative of the modern Online Discernmentalist Ministers.

It is the most complete fossil primate ever found, only missing part of an accusatory finger that could shed light on how early discernmentalists and truth warriors judged others.

Mexican paleontologist Duan Juan DeMarcos, who led a team of scientists who analyzed the fossil in the past two years, said it may resemble one of the earliest ancestors of feces throwing monkeys and is likely to have been a direct ancestor.

“We are not dealing with our grand- grand- grand- grandmother but perhaps our grand- grand- grand- aunt who thru feces,” Duan Juan DeMarcos of the Fossils for El-Trutho Research Institute in Mexico told reporters at New York’s American Museum of Natural History.

The primate, which was two feet from the tip of its nose to the end of its tail, was a female that died before its first birthday. It was called Slicy in honor of Slice of Laodicea, who advanced the theory of judgmentalism.

Christianity Astray! New magazine published by Ken SIlva

In response to apostate and false prophet magazine Christianity Today, Ken Silva executed his fantastic publishing skills producing “Christianity Astray.” Because [Christianity Today] is a ” magazine that can barely be convicted of being evangelical.”

Christianity Astray will be 100% MORE holy. It will be 100% Evangelical.It will have MORE biblical. Martin Luther, Spurgeon and John Calvin will sit on the editorial board.

There will be MORE discernmentalist articles covering the entire spectrum of false Christianity. Moreover it will be made with non-recycleable materials and feature at least 10 John MacArthur essays and a 24 HR Obama watch per issue. Opinions within Christianity Astray will not vary and will essentially repeat the previous issues rehashed again using new and improved Apprising sanctioned words (ie backbone and spine will be used often).

Rob Bell will be a major focus of discussion as will Rick Warren having their own sections revealing their false teachings and general heresy.

Finally, Christianity Astray will focus on being the the SPECIAL OPS of the Evangelical world.

New Approved Exercise Chart

Yoga is not acceptable for real Christians and any Discernmentalist knows that as OUR doctrinal truth! Some even try to call it “Christian Yoga” and we know it is all a Eastern Mysticism deception in so- called Christian clothing! Now we here know that many Christians still need to exercises so we developed an approved chart for you to use in your morning prayer time. Yes, we call it… Stretching Exercises!

You can “think about God’s Word” as you stretch. (Remember, meditation and contemplation are not allowed by OUR doctrines or approved by Ken Silva) Start slowly as we all know that the rigidity of OUR doctrines can have an effect on our bodies. Yes, just call it “stretching” and no one will come after you. Just a bit of warning though;  be careful not to become too flexible as it could lead to liberalism!