Why we support paedobaptiphobia

February 19, 2010

Typical baptist unregenerate baptism against Calvin's doctrines!

Let me break this word down for the ignorant unrepentant masses that read this blog only to mock our inferiority. We here have just made up a new word, because that is just how smart we are here at the ODMafia. So, you slack jaw locals who think that Phil Johnson’s Hugh Ass was parody, this is what paedobaptiphobia means.

paedo: Pertaining to children.

bapti: Pertaining to Baptists who immerse children in water.

phobia: Pertaining to fear of things in general but when connected to a word means you fear that word.

Therefore, you now know what the word “paedobaptiphobia” means. It means fear of baptist who baptise children.

Now, we know that is pure unadulterated heresy per John MacArthur (per our own award winning theologian Don Jobson) and that John Calvin would have never taught such a horrible doctrine! For John Calvin’s doctrine was almost as pure as our own! So, we support paedobaptiphobia in all forms and detest the unsaved Baptists who do not bow to our doctrines!  BTW, we here at the ODMafia do not need a list of reasons we call infant baptism heresy like Piper or MacArthur. Why? It is heresy because we say it is and that is good enough for us and should be good enough for you!


Hubris Man….man of zeal!

January 6, 2010

Stay tuned folks….for the never ending adventures of….HUBRIS MAN! He’s OUR hero….he should be yours too!

Truthslayer approved!


Dear Truthslayer

December 14, 2009

Dear Dr Truthslayer,

I recently read the following statement from Hunting Heresy Hunters “I agree very much with Rick Joyner when he says that the irony of the heresy hunters is that they claim to be motivated by a desire for holiness and righteousness and purity – and yet they’re abundantly willing to sacrifice those very qualities in themselves, in order to defame their targets.” Is this true?

Bob, Tampa Bay

________________________________

Bob, Online Discernmentalist Ministries are always obsessed with other people’s holiness, righteousness, purity and that they should meet or beat OUR very high standards of perfectionism. We don’t worry that much about the plank in our own eye because truth is at stake!

We are also sure that we are know-it-alls, and have a special exemption status when it comes to “telling it like it isn’t.”  We can ignore the fruit of the spirit when the truth-war gets tough. We have to protect the truth – because war is not easy and you have to make sacrifices….and when we mean truth, we mean our abstract propositions!!!

Indeed, when we lie or slander to protect the truth, it isn’t a lie or slander….its called a no-compromise defence.  Have you ever heard of our Fruit of the Spirit Exemption Card? If not we highly recommend picking one up while supplies last. Remember, what George Costanza from Seinfeld once said “just remember, it’s not a lie if you believe it.”

Your affectionate defender of Truth….Dr. Truthslayer


Back by popular demand….an obvious choice!

November 28, 2009

nutThe One & Only Nutty “O” puts the “Nut” back into Online Discernmentalist Ministries. We affectionally like to call it the NUT-O! It is not because WE online discernmentalists make outrageous comments…. we don’t really, it is simply because our rationalizations and great intellect go largely misunderstood.

Please understand us, and succumb to our teachings….because we are right. In fact, that is why we suggest you try the Nutty-O.

Dr. Truthslayer endorsed…and enjoyed.


We Want To Hear From You Or Else

November 1, 2009

Write us at our ranch:

1 The Way

Dobson Ranch, AZ,

Jesusland, USA

Ranch tours available upon request. Follow us on Facebook as well or else.


(Name removed upon request) spreads rumors that heretic runs ODMafia!

August 24, 2009

 

 

n735656195_8063(Name removed upon request) aka “Pastorboy” demanded that CRninfo not use his real name at their site. Over the last few years “CRN’s (Name removed upon request), who is pastor of River of Life Alliance Church,” has begun to spread rumors that a heretic named “iggy” is secretly running the ODMafia. iggy is known for all sorts of foul and stenchful things he believes like Jesus is the only way of salvation, a person is save by Grace through faith not by works and that one can only receive eternal life through the Resurrected life of Jesus Christ. (Of course he can’t really believe that as he is a heretic after all!) (Name removed upon request) does write a convincing article though and we here at the ODMafia were almost convinced ourselves it was the real deal, yet we realized that (Name withheld by request) is also running a parody site of CRNinfo and analysis and is really giving them a run for their satire money! We had to laugh as we almost closed this blog down thinking the lie, libel slander humorous post was true! Thank God TruthSlayer put on his magical discernmentalist glasses and saw right through the satire/parody that (Name removed upon request) aka Pastorboy had written. What we found the most funny that with self righteous indignation (Name removed upon request) aka Pastorboy stated:

“Although he [iggy] has made a mockery of my desire to stay as private as possible on the internet, I forgive him.”

Thanks for the laugh (Name removed by request) aka Pastorboy sometimes we take ourselves too seriously here. WeLadyHuhFINAL are glad you have a sense of humor. I mean we all know that (Name removed upon request) aka Pastorboy would never get upset for someone using his real name on the internet. 

I mean (Name removed upon request) aka Pastorboy did not get angry when Ken Silva posted his full name and the name of his church at CRN. So why would he be hypocritical and get mad if someone else did the same thing? And most of all, (Name removed upon request) aka Pastorboy would always turn the other cheek. He would never try to get even now would he?

More on (name removed upon request) here.


Truthwarriors to the moon

August 14, 2009

DOB

itodyaso has noted that we have begun to invade various countries across Europe and other brash non-North American places that we cannot find on a map to spread our truth warrior ways.

It is getting contentious out there folks and Emergents are unrelenting as they spread their unrighteous candles and couches (the main unrighteous tools of the Emerging Church) across the deep and dark continent of Africa…and other places on this heretical planet of doom.

Europe must be taken back, and we will burn as many candles (and couches) as it takes to stop this menace! In the mean time I will be leading a brigade of truth warriors to an excursion on the moon. We will win the moon and stop the spread of this cancerous growth.

We believe that all earthlings should be able to look at the moon without it being tainted by post-modernism. In fact, we will use the moon to discernmentalize earth by using incredibly sized lights and carefully placed lasars to spell out different heresies that are occuring from continent to continent….thereby bringing true glory to the true church (thats us). Occasionally we will include a variety of slogans too highlighting our great discernmentalist knowledge!


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